How do i tell my 3 year old..

about her pop-pop dying?

I recently lost my grandad and we are all devastated. I just dont know what to tell Briahna, im not sure how without breaking down in tears. Not only that i am unsure of what to say.

She doesnt understand pop-pops gone to heaven, she just said yep and walked off when my sister said it.

First of all,its good to see you ,I remember you from when your little girl was just born :-)

Secondly,it does no harm for your child to see you cry once in a while,it teaches them that mummy has feelings too and that crying is normal

thirdly...don't try to get too caught up with her not understanding,kids understand more than we think and she will soon catch on that her Pop-pop isn't there,and when she does she will come and ask you,and then you can tell her that he isn't with you anymore and you wont see him ,if you believe in heaven,and im guessing from your post that you do,then you can add things like him being in a beautiful place up in the sky and that he will be watching over her and that she can still talk to him but she wont hear him reply.....she will get it,they always do eventually.

In the meantime since she doesn't seem to perturbed just yet,I would concentrate on yourself and your own grief and allow yourself time to mourn before you try to cope with what to say to your daughter on top of it.


And last,im really sorry for your loss Mel,my thoughts are with you

I agree with the other posters above. We have recently been through a couple of deaths of great grand parents and we told our 3 year old DD that they have gone up to heaven to float on a star. Now when she sees a star at night she says "little Grandads floating on that star Mummy", and she often talks about him and how he has gone to heaven. She also saw us in tears and came to the funerals.

We also got the grand-children to release helium balloons (all of them are 7 and under) and they all talked to each other about how Little Grandad had caught there balloons up in heaven.

Sorry for your loss, its such a tough thing to go through

We have just been through this with our girls as my Dad died just over a week ago

Amy understands a lot better than Sophie that Papa has died and is gone and is not coming back. Sophie is still trying to grasp the permanency of death. We have just tried to answer all their questions as truthfully and simply as possible. We said that Papa had been vey sick for a long time and he was tired and his body was born out and. That the doctors could not make him better anymore.

Before the funeral on Tuesday I explained that people would be very sad, especially Grandma and Mummy but that was ok as we were saying good bye to Papa and wee were sad that we would not see him again.

I know it isn't the same as losing a Grandparent, but I have just been trying to explain to my 3 year old about his favourite horse of his Grandads dying.

It didn't go well. I tried to explain that Sam the horse was very sick and that he has died. That he has gone to sleep forever. But then my son got a cold, and kept saying 'I'm sick like Sam the horse, am I going to die?' and it was horrible. He totally didn't understand.

In the end I bought the book 'Old Hu-Hu' by Kyle Mewburn which explains it in an easy to understand way for kids.

Jaycee,Im so sorry to hear about your dad chick :-(

Thanks Kelly and mummydee. My Dad had been sick for a while and he was ready to go. The day before he died I sat with him for a couple of hours whilst Mum had to go out and he said his goodbyes to me then . We were luck that Mum & Dad moved to Wellington 2 years ago so they got to spend heaps of time with the girls.

Sorry to thread jack Mel and I am very sorry for your loss too. i hope your wee girl is OK too.

SORRY TO HEAR JAYCEE !! Its never an easy thing is it :(

thanks everyone for your comments. its helped alot. havnt been online as my family has all been over. dreading the day my mum goes back to scotland, and my brothers already gone back to thailand :(

At the funeral last week my sister told Bree say good bye to pop-pop and she waved to the coffin as it when down then sat there with this sad look on her face with tears but not quite crying.
By the way shes been acting i know in some way she understands. Shes been good too. She was sooo special to him, so im getting this pic enlarged and framed to put in her room once we get a new house.




lol k8 thats funny. My pop and nana would tell bree too cal them nan-nan and pop-pop. its so cute.

i wondered what she would remember of him and i thought it might not be much. but i remember my great gran we called her little nan. and she would give us minties or some sort of lollies every time we saw her. Im pretty sure i was around brees age too so i hope she remembers how he was with her :) like i said he loved her to peices.

Edited by MelanieAndBree