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Kate116195
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Joined: 06 May 2013
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Topic: I want to change midwives! Posted: 06 May 2013 at 2:46pm |
I have made contact with midwife "Sarah" (not real name, obviously). We had an appointment set for mid May and we spoke on the phone 2-3 times. Each time she couldn't remember who I was and seemed pretty disorganised and distant. One week I had some problems with the pregnancy and called her cellphone - she said she was on leave and directed me to call another midwife, "Jill." Jill and I spoke several times and I found her incredibly warm and reassuring.
I feel much more comfortable with Jill and would prefer her to be my LMC. I asked her about the possibility, explaining that I actually hadn't even met Sarah before and we'd never even filled out any paperwork. Jill sounded uncomfortable about me switching midwives but said she was happy to take me on as long as I spoke with Sarah and got her OK.
I haven't spoken to Sarah yet but I was wondering - has anybody had to change midwives before & is this a big no no? Jill and Sarah work together so if for whatever reason Jill can't attend the birth, I assume Sarah would be there. Am I better off just to find a totally new midwife?
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EmDee
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Waikato
Points: 4407
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Posted: 06 May 2013 at 4:39pm |
You need to have someone you can trust and feel comfortable with. If you want to use Jill, then there is a possibility that you will have Sarah at your birth. How does that make you feel? Either way I think you should speak to Sarah and let her know how you feel and let her respond. You absolutely have the right to change your LMC at any point in time. Good luck with your decision
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Hopes
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Joined: 06 August 2008
Location: Waikato
Points: 4495
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Posted: 06 May 2013 at 6:46pm |
^ Pretty much exactly what she said! It's not hugely uncommon to change midwives at all, and I really woud if you feel uncomfortable. Even if you look further afield and check out other mw practices.
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Emmecat
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Joined: 30 April 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 5068
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Posted: 06 May 2013 at 6:55pm |
^^ what they said. You REALLY want someone you like and trust delivering your baby. I so wish I had changed my first mw, I just didn't have the guts to- nor a basis of comparison to know whether her attitude was 'normal' or not. Onto baby #3 now and I know now it was not. Better done sooner rather than later though, 'good' midwives tend to book up really quickly (for a reason obviously lol)
Edited by Emmecat - 06 May 2013 at 6:56pm
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Louise99033
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Joined: 12 November 2012
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Posted: 06 May 2013 at 9:45pm |
It is really important to that trust I was just going to add maybe you should wait to meet sarah and then make a decision. You can change and if you feel a better connection to someone else then no one is going to hold it against you
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kalika
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Joined: 08 September 2012
Location: Canterbury
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Posted: 10 May 2013 at 7:00am |
I changed midwifes around 13 weeks because I just felt a bit underwhelmed by the one I had chosen. By pure chance I ended up getting a phone call from her backup who offered to be my MW, and then we figured out she was my current MW's backup. She said it would be fine to change, then after I had thought over it for the wknd and phoned back to say yes lets swap she told me they 'don't like to swap within the practice' so I was back to absolute square one (but worse as most MWs were booked up already for Sept).
I do feel so much better having changed, so good luck, just be aware that you may end up with "Sarah" being your birthing MW anyway
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Charly28
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Joined: 15 April 2013
Location: Wellington
Points: 832
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Posted: 10 May 2013 at 4:40pm |
I'm not telling you to stick with sarah by any means if you don't want to.. But I had the same experience early on with my midwife and she turned out to be the BEST, I adore her now, as soon as we got the scan and paperwork and face to face meeting sorted she was awesome and not at all distant!! Initially my partner and I got really brasses off at her vagueness and stuff (being first time parents we didn't know what the heck we were meant to be doing!!!) My advice? Do what YOU want, it's your baby and your body and this should be a time of enjoyment
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TheKelly
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Joined: 30 March 2010
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Posted: 11 May 2013 at 10:36pm |
end of the day,this woman will be responsible for your wellbeing and that of your baby,during pregnancy,in labour and for 6 weeks after pregnancy,it needs to be someone you feel you can trust and you are in good hands with.
Go with your instinct,if you feel you need to change you wont be the first woman to. Good luck with your decision
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Alexisj15
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Joined: 12 September 2011
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Posted: 13 May 2013 at 6:50am |
I'm pregnant with #2 and had to find a new mW as the one I had is no longer doing independent midwifery. I got in contact with one who didn't seem interested and then cancelled my appointment an hour before time with no explanation. It made me feel very uncomfortable so I told her I had found another one and started looking for a new one. New one is great! Trust your instincts as you have to feel comfortable with her. Its quite common to change. Just remember if you go with Jill there will be a high chance you could end up with Sarah at thge birth.
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