| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
lizzle 
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 8346
|
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote  Reply
 Topic: grandparents and presents
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 9:45am |
|
Okay, not sure how this is going to sound. DH's parents are wonderful. i love them to bits, but...well, they don't buy xmas or birthday presents for the kids. My parents aren't wealthy AT ALL, but my mum would spend her last dollar on the boys. Anyway Jake just had his birthday and got loadds of nice things, but here we are in November and he still doesn't have a present from his other grandparents. They did say they were going to send something, but havent. nlast xmas he got zip too, as well as his first birthday. Is this weird? or am I being a bit mercenary expecting presents from them. (BTW, it's not that they don't have money - they do, they also have other grandchildren who live nearby them, not sure if they get presents)
|
 |
|
Sponsored Links
|
|
|
Bizzy
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 10974
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 9:51am |
|
for me i dont expect presents for birthdays or xmas for the kids unless we see them on the day (my mum never got anything for tobys first birthday but we didnt have a party and so i never expected anything).
|
|
|
|
Guests
Guest
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 10:10am |
|
Its a hard one for sure. Is hubby able to have a word to them? I would feel really rejected on behalf of my child if they didnt get a present like promised from their grandparents! I dont think your being mercenary expecting presents! If they promise then they should follow through!
|
|
Jay_R
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Onehunga, Auckland
Points: 1582
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 10:30am |
|
I agree with Jess - if they make promises to the kids then they must follow through. Get Lewis to have a word, mebbe they forgot???? Nah, lame - they didn't forget.....
|
|
AnnC
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Taranaki
Points: 6796
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 10:51am |
|
Its a toughie....I mean presents should not be expected but if they say they will then don't, I would just say (play dumb) " did you send the present you said you would as the boys were watching out for them and didn't receive them. Just wondering if you did they might of got lost in the post." Then if they admit that they didn't maybe you can say something like "oh I wish you didnt say you'd send them some as the boys were really excited about getting them"
I know how upset you can get about it especially when you know the other grandchildren get presents, my daughters grandparents on father side (whom I am not with) use to give her a present and then stopped nothing last christmas nor birthday nor easter and its not her fault that she doesn't see them as her father has not had contact with her for over a year. And I know the other grandchildren get spoilt even the one is OZ and we only live half an hour away.
Edited by AnnC
|
Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
|
|
nikkitheknitter
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Westie
Points: 7556
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 1:31pm |
I'm terribly inconsistent with presents... as the oldest cousin on my mama's side, I feel it is my duty to get pressies for the kidlets... but often I forget... or they are late. So I'm a bad ass in the present-giving world.
But if you say you are going to give a present... you should follow through.
I say go with Ann's sneaky little suggestion 
|
|
lizzle
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 8346
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 2:12pm |
|
they are coming back to NZ soon, so i wonder if they have decided to give him it then - considering the price of postage. i don't know. i find them really inconsistent twith the whole thing. Now Nikki, cousins I can understnd, but grandchild - i don't think so. I was really hit and miss with my nephwe and niece, but now am fully prepared. Jake's aunties and uncles seems to forget too. But his gps didn't even call for his biorthday! not that he noticed...then again they don't get hubby anything for xmas or birthday either. Maybe i'm just making a big fuss. btw, jake didn't know about the poresent and even if he did, he wouldn't care i think. Next year however...
|
|
aimeejoy
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Dannevirke
Points: 6415
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 2:42pm |
OK without sounding like a spoiled brat I kinda do expect Hannahs GPs to get her a pressie! This has been bugging me for ages, so am glad you bought it up Liz. My mum spends soooo much money on the grandies (she has 7 and 3 of them live in america). I think she does it more to help us all out cos they all get some clothes, a book and toys. Now I don't expect Daniels parents to spend as much as mum but they have bought Hannah bascially nothing - and they arent that short of money. They didn't get anything when Hannah was born (obviously cos MIL was in hospital, but she hadnt got anything while I was pregnant like most mums I know), for Xmas she got a thing for her pram from Fly Buys, and for her birthday a doll which I am 99% sure is second hand (it was bought at market day the day before Hans birthday). Then Daniels birthday last week they had said they would get him a mitre 10 voucher and guess what he got - old man slippers, cos apparently hes getting old! What is up with that?! Oh and Hannah is the only grandchild and they have no kids at home anymore. I dont mean to sound really ungrateful and sorry for thread jacking a bit liz, but I really know how you feel... 
|
|
Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
|
|
busymum
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 12236
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 3:44pm |
|
All our parents are kinda tight but give presents, just not always appropriate ones. But I guess it's more the gesture than anything. If they regularly don't give pressies then I wouldn't worry about it, the kids will grow up just knowing that's what to expect from that relationship. It's amazing how their "normals" are shaped so early.
|
|
|
|
mummy_becks
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 14931
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 6:31pm |
Liz, if I was in your shoes I would be a little peeved about it. I think Andrew is so spoilt from both his grandparents and his aunties and gets presents all the time from DH's parents - it seems like everytime we go around there she has brought him something new. Personally to me it is really annoying as Andrew is getting to the age where he knows about presents and if he is getting something new from there every week he should be getting it all the time. It is slowly stopping which is good. But my parents came back from the States and had presents for him - a little different as they were from a different country and mum told me he didn't get half of what they brought him as they are going to give the rest as xmas presents.
If they are heading back from overseas and then they don't have something for him I would be getting Lewis to ask "whats up" you did say you would have something for him so where is it - but not in those words.
|
|
I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
|
|
AnnC
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Taranaki
Points: 6796
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 06 November 2006 at 9:50pm |
 lizzle wrote:
btw, jake didn't know about the poresent and even if he did, he wouldn't care i think. Next year however... |
I am sure they didn't know or really comprehend but your Parents in law don't know that - thats what I was getting at.
|
Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
|
|
Roksana
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Manurewa, Auckland
Points: 6137
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 November 2006 at 12:04pm |
|
Oh Liz...I have no idea how you feel...as my little one is just toooo spoilt!!
Zaara is also the only Grandchild and you can tell with all the pressies she gets (I will post all the pics of her pressies later)....
I would be mad too....but may be they are not big on gift giving!! do you think you could find out what the other GC get for Xmas, birthdays etc?
|
|
|
|
Andie
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 3614
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 November 2006 at 8:47am |
|
Oh that's a tricky one, Liz. I'd be annoyed too if they said they'd get something and never did - that'd p*#s me off. Are the the gift-giving type though? Some people love gifts and others just don't - if they don't really get gifts for anyone, I'd guess it was nothing personal. I'm married to a non-gift-giver... he's the oldest of a big family and has siblings still at school - he doesn't get them or his parents anything for their birthdays! It's not that he doesn't love them, it's just that he shows his love for them by helping out with jobs and stuff - to him gifts seem like a waste of money, and he'd rather do something else for the person.
|
|
Andie
|
|
Two Blondinis
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: West Auckland
Points: 4370
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 November 2006 at 9:33am |
We have similar issues in our family.
My parents (who certainly didn't have any spare cash as they were in the process of emigrating, then buying a house and doing it up etc) bought us HEAPS for baby to help us out (buggy, car seat, heaps of clothes from UK) and have already started buying her lots of little things for Xmas.
I was always brought up where b'days and Xmas are a time to make people feel special and give them a gift, as materialistic as that sounds.
DH's family (his parent's mostly) don't think these times are special at all! B'day gifts are a $5 lucky dip! What did Caitlin get for her birth gift? $20 to put in her bank account 
Bah Humbug to them I say!
Personally, I don't think I would feel comfortable asking your in-laws what happend to his pressie. But, it would be sucky if he was older and understood what had happend Then I would certainly be asking what the hey is up with that! 
Edited by Toni_akl
|
|
|
|
grandparents and presents
