Nothing ever turn’s out .........(rant )

The way you expect I had all these great plan's when I became a Mum and housewife. I was going to be the perfect Mum that played with my kid's and got all the housse work done dinner on the table etc, and I do none of it not even play with my kds I would be so embarrased if anyone showd up to my door today. I just feel so useless I know I need to just get of my ass and do stuff. It's like I don't even know where to start with housework or anything. Everyone said life will get better when I get my licence, but in reality I don't think so will out so much the hosue will still be in a state. I feel like I spend most of my time yelling at Alan cause he is bored. Somethime's think the grass is greener and want to move back to Palmy, but that still won't change anything.
Sorry this is more a moan then anything else I know I can and should be doing better I just needed to get this off my chest. I am almost crying sitting here. I have decided that hubby need's to password the computer so I can't go on here during the day see if that help's.
Argh!!!!! I jsut want to yell. Oh well on that note I am going to go face the day and try to do better. Really must clean my toliet.

Edited by Mummy22

I think everyone has bad days where the house is shocking and the kid(s) are going nuts.
When we got online here at our new home, I dropped down a lot of the house work that I was doing, it was mainly playing with Olivia and getting some social activity. But I did as you have done, I got all mad at myself. Now I do give myself time, but only after I have done certain things.
Say, every morning I get up, after I have done Olivia's and Dale's morning routine and the house is silent. I have 30 mins of net time then go off to do house work and have a shower. Yes there are most definitely days where the 30 mins becomes an hour and I start to smell a little funky as I will have a quick wash instead of a shower. And on days when the place is a pig sty I do all of the housework first then sit down (hehe - like this morning). Also, I always leave something for tomorrow and I always tell myself that there is just one job in particular that I need to get around to doing this week (e.g mop the kitchen, clean the bathroom).
But get angry with yourself and get going as you really are the only one that can motivate yourself.
If you think you are having a bit too much stress to get motivated (kids are stressful) then maybe "phone a friend" and get someone to come do your dishes. Or even swap chores! I do my friends dishes and she is going to come and do my gardening (I don't do gardens).
Hope you find the energy!

What a bitch of a sister in law, I hope someone throws a bucket of water over her for ya Lizzle!

I was going to suggest a schedule too. Mine's all out the window cause I'm exhausted these days but I know it will pick up again. But I still have parts of it that are in place. My girls both go down for a sleep after lunch so I get a good hour or so of "my time" and usually that's spent sitting down and NOT having to clean up. At 5pm DH and I have agreed that he will be available to look after the kids so I can organise dinner in (relative) peace. Before I got exhausted-pregnant, I would spend the first 1/2 hour of Briona's morning sleep doing something with Hannah. And that settled her for the most of the day after that (as a 2yo).

If my afternoon is going crazy, I take the girls and do the grocery shopping then - roughly Wednesday/Thursday but sometimes the day is going to be a mess anyway so I might as well do *something*. When the girls were a bit younger and especially while Briona had silent reflux, I would pack them into the stroller and go around the block until I had calmed down.

There's nothing wrong with needing adult input too and if you can join some kind of playgroup on a weekly or fortnightly basis that may help too.

Another thing with schedules is, sometimes at breakfast I will sit down and write myself a list. Sometimes it feels like EVERYTHING needs doing but I limit it to a reasonable amount to be done in that morning. (Afternoons are a write-off I reckon!) It might be clean kitchen, do the washing, prepare tea. But at least I can cross those things off my list and feel like I actually accomplished something that day. And I know that there is far more that I do in a day as well - change nappies, give cuddles, read stories, put plasters on.....

You're definitely not alone! Hope this helps a bit.

I read a question in a magazine recently (in one of those ask so and so columns) about a woman who had visited a friends house and her daughter was playing and found a bit of biscuit under a cushion on the couch. She was wondering what a polite way to call the friendship off would be, as she didn't feel the house work was up to standards.

I call that woman a stupid b$%*& and wonder how the hell her children play in a house where everything must be perfect all the time.

I figure (and I used to be a perfectionist, have given up now) you have two options - either constantly tidy your house and drive yourself insane as children love messying up what you've just tidyed.. OR.. relax a bit. If people who visit complain about mess, they aren't worth worrying about.

I also go out every day with Ella. I'm not very good at sitting down with her and having one on one time. But I do spent time with her at the park, swimming pool, library, feeding the ducks etc etc. So actually I think having your licence will help you alot, I got mine when Ella was 9 months and I couldnt' go back to not having it again.

hehe but it is a lot easier with a 2yo than a 5mo.

Hmmmm feels like a time-bomb somedays cause I'm sure Hannah will drop her day sleep sometime this year We shall see how I cope after then Good thing is that the older they are, the better able they are to occupy themselves... or be farmed out for an afternoon

Now mummy22, I am not a mum yet, so can't speak from personal experience at all. But I can speak from bservation and professional experience.

I think everyone has offered some great advice above, but is Alan in any form of care? I think that there can be great value in regular breaks from the continuous care of children (I conducted research in this when at Uni), perhaps if Alan could go for a couple of morning sessions a week somewhere it would give you time out to either get things done or have time to yourself and Michael, as well as giving him some stimulation to help with his boredom.

I know a lot of mums use the time their kids are at kindy to race through housework, shopping etc, then really enjoy the time they have with their kids much better than when their child was at home with them, or the only activities the child was involved in required their presence.

It might be worth a try - and honey, you are being too hard on yourself - you have 2 kids, one of which is just 5 months old!!!!

That's great news! Hope you don't get withdrawal from us all tomorrow midday