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emeldee 
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 Topic: Mums of Boys
Posted: 11 May 2007 at 9:35am |
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I caught a bit of the Inside NZ documentary last night on 'Sex Wars' and it featured some really interesting commentary about how boys and men are treated in NZ. 0.35% of males in NZ are in prison, however we still tend to treat the majority of males like potential criminals, particularly around children.
If I had daughters, there is no way that I would tell them not to follow any career path that they want to, however with my boys, I'll be stearing them clear of almost every career to do with children for THEIR safety, (but that being said would LOVE it if they could have male teachers while at school). My husband is an amazing, great dad and brilliant with kids. He's gentle, patient and loves kiddies. He's much better than a lot of women I know... however, what would be the reaction if he stopped to talk to kids on the street (like the part of the program where there was a girl sitting on the street by herself, looking lost). As a mum of three boys, I hope that I am raising them in a way that they learn to be kind to all people - and that they are not the potential villians that society regularly tells them they are.
I'd be interested to hear your feedback on the plight of males in our society - particularly with regard to their relationship with children...
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thunderwolves
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:09am |
My husband is amazing with children, he is an outdoor instructor so has a lot to do with school camps, he says it is a shame because he is so aware of his contact with the children, instead of just focussing on the activities he is thinking of how it might look to an outsider, but the nature of his job involves contact, If you are teaching a small child to rock climb or abseil physical contact is nesecary.
He finds it especially hard if a child gets a fright doing an activity or gets really cold in a water based activity because he can't comfort them, he has even has a situation where they were doing a coastal walk and a small girl fell into the water, she got super cold and had cut he knee and he made the choice to carry he back to base, but felt that he had to justify that decision to a lot of people, instead of just being seen as someone caring for a cold wet hurt 6 yr old girl.
unfortunately i think it is the nature of society these days, and that cant be changed. but it think it sucks big time..
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EllenMumof2
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:15am |
i saw most of this and thought it was so interesting i think NZ has become so PC to. as a mother of one boy i will guide kalem into whateva career he wants to have even throw at the moment he want to become a sportsman lol. We are very lucky at kalems school which is a public school we have 5 male techers and im hoping next year he will be in one of there classes as i think boys need male teachers whn they are older.
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:40am |
I didn't see it (Grey's was far too important  ), but did see the shorts throughout the week. I had a male teacher for all but 3 of my years at primary (was at a full primary so till year 8 form 2). I loved them and I got on better with a male teacher and excelled more with a male teacher. Don't know why but I have always done better with a male teacher or male boss.
I have a friend in CHCH who is a male kindy teacher and he is one of the loveliest guys I have ever met. I do feel for him being in a role that is mostly woman but 4 years into the job haven't heard a thing about it in the news.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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Peanut
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:52am |
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My husband is a primary school teacher and is fantastic at his job. He has always felt safe and comfortable with his job but he has been employed by a fantastic school that has all the systems etc in place so no one really thinks about it as such. He is in a school where there are a lot of single parent families and he finds that a lot of kids are missing that male contact. His class, many of them turn up to school at 8am so that they can hang out and chat about stuff but as I say his school has all the sytems in place!
I also teach at an all boys school and we are making a big effort to look at issues in New Zealand around males. Celia Lashlie wrote a brilliant book on boys and growing up male in new zealand.
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hailstones
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 10:55am |
I think its really sad our society has gotten to be this way. (I didn't see it either - too much of a greys fan )
Yes some males do horrible horrible things to children but its such a small percentage of them that do it and its such a shame because its affecting all males to a point that they can't be alone in the same room as a child.
DH is fantastic with kids, he often will take my 13 year old sister out to play mini golf or do something with one of her friends when we go to see them - and to be honest I think the thought just doesn't go through his head - not the doing horrible things of course but being accused of it.
Women can be criminals as well and can also be accused of horrific crimes - so why does society treat males only this way....hmmmm, poor guys!!!!
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emeldee
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 12:52pm |
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I was really lucky that my eldest had a male teacher for his last two years in primary school - he's been a fantastic role model and made a really big difference to the preteen's life.
The other thing that struck me in the show, was when they had two kiddie actors sitting on the overbridge in Newmarket looking lost and sitting by themselves. So many more people stopped to ask the girl if she was okay. What happens if one of my boys is lost - not only will people think he's up to no good, but they won't offer him help either!!!
Interesting things in the show - just how BUSY the little guys are - the 3 year old boy with the pedometer walked/ran a third more than the 3 year old girl.
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shaz
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 1:41pm |
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I think it's such a shame that men have to worry so much about how others see them. When I was little my dad came on nearly every school trip and he was such a big kid all of my class mates would beg for me to bring him along he nevr had to worry about rolling around on the floor with all the kids' boys and girls... Now I encourage my DH to go on trips too but he is a bit more carefull, but being a father of three girls he seems to cope pretty well around kids.
My eldest daughter had a male teacher for her last two years at primary and he was just fantastic, not only a great teacher but a really nice person she loved him. My DH and I made a point of letting him know how greatful we were for looking after our daughter so well she had never been so happy in class before.
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lizzle
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Posted: 11 May 2007 at 2:50pm |
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I didn't watch it either, but am not surprised that boyus are "busier" than girls. ...observations have showed that is clear to me.
It is a shame though that we are such a society. lewis said to me one day that he was glad we have boys as he wouldn't be comfortable changing a little girl. And when we babysat, he made me do the toileting of all the kids. It's a shame as the kids LOVE him, and with his job he can come to playcentre with us. The kids just adore him and it would be great to see more males in early education, but of course most shy away for obvious reasons...sad sad sad
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Mums of Boys
