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MelanieAndBree 
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Location: Auckland
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 Topic: Help mee! Need info on legal stuff..
Posted: 23 July 2007 at 8:40pm |
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God im really miserable at the moment. I just want to craw away into a hole. I cant stop crying i feel stupid!
I talked to my ex just before and he said he doesnt want to sign the birth certificate and that we will have to go to court about it.
He seems to think he wont have to sign it.
Does anyone know anything about this sort of thing? I mean, like, is there any way for him to win this and not have to be on the birth cert?
Is there anything online where i can read about this sort of thing? I know bub isnt even here yet but i want to be prepared ya know. I dont believe that he should get out of paying child support.
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Melanie.
Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 23 July 2007 at 8:43pm |
Have a look at birth deaths and marriages they have info about the signing of the birth cert.
From what little knowledge I have if he doesn't sign it he can't then try and get custody etc (but then again I could be right off there).
Busymum used to work as a legal sec, so she may know more.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 23 July 2007 at 8:45pm |
Welll.... this is where I can tell you my experience.
He can refuse all he wants to sign the birth certificate, but that just means you go to your lawyer and get a deed of paternity. This involves you writing an affadavit and taking it in to be filed. He is then served and has to make an appearance at court. He can contest this but then has to have a paternity test done. Yours will be paid for by legal aid, but if he is working, his won't and he'll have to fork out about $1000. Then the test says that he is the father and he will be ordered by the court to sign the deed of paternity, which is basically the same thing as him on the birth cert.
Thoooo... I don't know if a deed of paternity gives him the same rights as the birth cert does. If his name is on the birth cert then he has guardianship. Some lawyer type might have to clarify about the deed.
Not an entirely happy process, but maybe if you let him in on the fact that it'll suck much more for him than it will for you, then he may just sign it!
Good luck sweet, and let me know if you need any more help. Been there before! 
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MelanieAndBree
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Location: Auckland
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Posted: 23 July 2007 at 8:54pm |
See the thing is i just talked to him before and i told him that its going to be worse for him but he seems to think its not like that and he said he doesnt want to sign it.
So, i guess it will be a little wake up call for him then wont it. I just want to make sure cause i dont want to go into this and then have him winning or something you know!
Thanks  I feel a bit better now.
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Melanie.
Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs
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busymum
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Posted: 23 July 2007 at 9:02pm |
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Well it's been 4yrs now since I worked in law but last I knew, a father was only an automatic guardian if he was living with the mother at the time of the baby's birth, not dependent at all on whether he is on the birth cert. So being on the birth cert doesn't mean automatic access rights either. But it does usually mean child support. You'll really need to get a lawyer onto this one but you will probably be eligible for legal aid.
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Maya
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Posted: 23 July 2007 at 9:13pm |
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That changed fairly recently Teresa, now it is if he is named on the birth certificate irrespective of whether the parents were living together at the time of the birth. And if he is named on the birth certificate you can't refuse him access without a court order restricting it. When Willie and I separated he had the right to come and take Maya from me at any time as her other legal guardian so I had to go to court and get a custody order giving me sole physical custody.
Bombshell would be the one to ask Melln, she is a family law lawyer, you could PM her, I'm sure she'd be happy to help.
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MelanieAndBree
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Posted: 23 July 2007 at 9:18pm |
Um i read this on this site http://www.justice.govt.nz/family/what-familycourt-does/children/paternity.asp#fc8
Usually, a child's mother and father are joint guardians of the child. They are often referred to as the child's natural guardians.
However, while a child's mother is automatically a guardian, the child's father is a guardian only if -
he was married to or in a civil union with the child's mother at any time from when the child was conceived until it was born, or
the child was conceived before 1 July 2005 and he was living with the child's mother when the child was born, or
the child was conceived on or after 1 July 2005 and he was living with the child's mother at any time between conception and the birth, or
he was recorded as the father of the child on the birth certificate on or after 1 July 2005.
The father can also apply to be appointed a guardian by the Family Court. The Court will do this unless it is against the child's best interests.
We were living together when she was concieved and for about 7 weeks after (or until we found out i was pregnant and he dumped me at 8 weeks lol)
So this mean hes a guardian anyway right? But does that mean anything lol?
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Melanie.
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Maya
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Posted: 23 July 2007 at 9:24pm |
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It means he has the right to apply for custody and/or access if he wants to. My advice would be to give citizens advice bureau a call and ask them for contact details for a family law specialist in your area that you can call and have a chat to. It will be covered by legal aid, you'll have to pay a $50 hook-on fee but everything else is covered and it will give you peace of mind and you'll know what you need to do and when to do it.
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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MelanieAndBree
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Posted: 23 July 2007 at 9:27pm |
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Okay cool thank you heps. Ive also PM'd Bombshell.
thanks guys
Ugh im not looking forward to all this hehe.
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Melanie.
Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs
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busymum
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Posted: 23 July 2007 at 9:30pm |
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Yea talk with Bombshell, there have been some law updates/changes in this area (guardianship) since I left work.
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Bombshell
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Posted: 24 July 2007 at 6:52am |
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have PMed you....hope that fills you in.
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JD
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Posted: 24 July 2007 at 12:34pm |
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Hiya
Can I just suggest that you don't completely rule out leaving him out of it all together! Keep a record of his full name, birthdate etc for when your baby wants to know who their "real" father is.
Sometimes having them involved is NOT worth the money they pay (or don't in my case). Down the track when you meet someone you choose to be with for life, they can then adopt your child as their own. Your baby won't be any more disadvantaged. If you can't stand the thought of having unknown as the father, then follow through with the legal side, and I think you can get him to sign his rights away!
Good luck with whatever you choose.
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.Mel
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Posted: 24 July 2007 at 4:25pm |
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I've got two birth certs for Conor. My partner broke up with me too when I found out I was pregnant, at first he didn't want to know, then after he was born he decided that he would be named on the certificate. Put me through the emotional wringer during that time. We haven't had any contact with him since Conor was 6 months old. We've told Conor about him, but he's made the choice not to find anything out about him, maybe when he's a little older he'll decide to, but I'll leave that up to him. He can also make the decision on which cert he wants...
Good luck and I hope for you and your daughters sake you get the help you need.
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Help mee! Need info on legal stuff..