Frustrated

I don't know whether this is the right place to post this as it's a bit of a vent as well as a cry for help.

Everyday I feel so incredibly frustrated. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Everyone keeps asking "have we found a routine yet" and I just feel like screaming! I'm trying!!! I just don't know what to do!

Noah is fine he's putting on weight so there's not a problem there it's just there isn't even a sense of a pattern to anything that's happening and wherever I look someone or something is telling me we should be doing one version or another of Feed, Play, Sleep but it's more like I feed him, try and burp him (usually unsuccessfully), and he's gone back to sleep so there's no chance of getting him to take the other side "like he should be" so then I'll change him and then sometimes he'll feed again and usually fall asleep while feeding - another supposedly big "no-no".

I just don't know what to do. When putting him down I try and put him down semi-awake if possible but as I said above he's usually asleep from feeding or he's fallen asleep on us while trying to burp him.

I feel like I should just be trying to go with the flow and what he wants he gets but there seems to be all this pressure for a routine to be establishing itself.

It's starting to get me down and everyday I'm in tears from the pure frustration I'm feeling. I don't resent him thank goodness, I wouldn't wish him away at all. I just thought it would be easier to go with the flow but it's the niggling voice in my head saying this isn't how it's "supposed" to happen...that I'm doing something wrong.

I found out today that DH told Mum he's worried I'm putting too much pressure on myself to establish a routine and I suppose it isn't fair on him either to come home to a wife that's in tears or has quite clearly been at some point,

Is this normal, do other mum's feel like this in the first weeks? AM I putting too much pressure on myself to get him into a routine? Or is there something I am doing wrong and a routine should be starting to happen?

HELP?!

Hugs Cheryl.

I guess you are finding your feet, it takes a while. You are doing a great job. I think you just need to do what feels right for you. Don't let people tell you what you should / shouldn't be doing. What works for one person and baby doesn't necessarily work for the next person.

First you are not doing anything wrong!
You should just do what works for you.
I know it is hard and scary and frustrating and people love to tell you what you should be doing - but every baby is different and at this age all they do is eat and sleep really.

We never had a routine until Baylee was about 3 months old, when she started being awake more during the day.
I know it is hard and scary but the best thing you can do is try and relax, take each day as it comes, and smile & nod when people tell you what you should be doing!
You are doing a great job just remember that. take the time to enjoy him at this age as they change so quickly.

You don't have to have a routine, just go with the flow, we tried a routine and it didn't work, going with the flow works well for us and is much less stressful although I try keep it change play feed burp play feed burp bed during the day.

Also they don't need both sides, some are quite happy on just one!

You are doing an amazing job, don't doubt yourself!

Just go with your instincts and follow your heart!

Hugs Hun

You are doing a great job. It sounds like your wee man is thriving.

Don't worry about a routine, he's still little and needs to feed often. When people give advice you don't want just smile and nod and ignore it.

And some probably unwanted advice
Ds had trouble bringing up wind as well and we used gripe water from about 1 week old I think.

oh dear - a routine at that age isnt the be all. in fact he is in a routine, his own!   sometimes they just forget to share that fact with us... it sounds like he is a happy settled little boy, so why change it if it aint broke!?

Yep, like the other ladies have said. Ignore all the "well meaning" advice.

My DS is coming up 6 months now and he is only just got himself into a routine now and has only started taking both sides at a feed the last couple of days, so do not stress yourself about it. Like Bizzy said, he has got his own routine and that is clearly working or he wouldn;t be the happy little thriving boy he is.

Heres a big hug i know what your going through, and its hard. I agree with whats been said above :)

Can't add any more than what's been said...
But for you

3 weeks old is still very wee and you're both just finding your rhythm.

The best advice I can offer is, do what works for you both and bugger everyone else and their comments. I found a lot of comments/advice like that was well meant abd just a way of making conversation with a very tired new Mummy.

If he's not hungry and is happy to sleep, take advantage and have a rest yourself. Not only will it put you in good stead for the next "round" but it will help stabilise your mood.
Happy baby = happy Mummy = happy baby = happy Mummy etc...

Keep us posted on how you go

I dont get the "meant to feed of both sides" thing....

They dont need both sides, I know some babies are lazy feeders and switching sides helps to get them to feed better but suppy and demand... if they feed one breast per feed then the supply will be such to fill them from one breast per feed....

I mean what do twin mummies do, feed babies, then stop, switch sides and feed them again???

Sorry, gone a bit off topic but its always bothered me.. I just dont get it????