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LouD 
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 Topic: Why?
Posted: 01 July 2010 at 1:55pm |
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Im curious to know if im the only one out there that NEVER gets visitors or people offering to pop over. If i want company i have to go find it, which isnt always easy with a baby.......or i have to bribe people with offers of dinner or baking.
It hasnt mattered where ive lived or who ive been friends with, its always been the same. I will make the effort to go to other peoples but mostly i will organise it, but rarely will the same effort be reciprocated.
I think I would just like to feel that people would like to come and visit me and not like im a lepar
Im so completely over everything being a one way street
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mummy_becks
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Joined: 01 January 1900
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 2:00pm |
I have that with a male friend, he expects that I will always come and see him at his place.
I put my foot down with him the other day and said to him you want to see me you have to come to me, I have Josh at home sick and Josh is also scared of animals and you have a dog and you know that. It worked he came and saw me for 30 minutes.
I also have another friend who will always say come round when you are free. I work, I have kids (so does she), but I only have that period on 3-5 at home to get everything done before I get Josh, come and see me. She is making more of an effort to do that.
But yes I do feel your pain.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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caliandjack
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 2:02pm |
I live in Feilding and most of my friends are in Palmy, Palmy people think Feilding is the end of the earth and too far to go to pop in.  I generally meet up in town somewhere.
I have one wonderful friend who drives all the way from Manurewa to Piha to see us when we're up at my Dad's she's one of my oldest friends, and a def a keeper.
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  [/url] Angel June 2012
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heaf3
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 2:04pm |
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nope its not just you.....
we almost NEVER have visitors. even our parents only come occasionally, and not for dinner or anything. we used to go to my sisters quite a bit, but they only ever came over once or twice. used to go down to our friends place (just down the road) like every weekend but they only ever came over about twice. every time plans are made with my friends its always at their houses in auckland, never at my place. etc etc
totally OVER IT. our house is nice...we are nice.....i always make sure i have food or drinks for people....what the hell is the problem??
and we dont have a baby yet either, so its not like a baby putting everyone off.
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RBsMama
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 2:05pm |
It's the same here. Regardless of family or friends, we always seemed to be the ones having to visit. DH works 40 hours, I work 32 and admittedly it's Mon-Fri (as it is with most of our family), we're the ones having to cart bub around each weekend. It's very frustrating and every once and a while we go on strike and don't visit. Unfortunately, no one seems to notice..... 
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 2:07pm |
Fleur I am coming over to Feilding next Saturday. I can come see you but I will have 2 monsters with me.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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AandCsmum
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Location: Palmerston North
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 2:10pm |
Yeah I feel like that at times as well. I make more of an effort now to organise something on each morning week days. I'm sure if I didn't organise things, it would never happen.
Mum & Dad would never come here, never actually stop & sit down which I found weird, I'm usually going to their place. They come over for rugby now but not for any other reason really.
People know my cell number, they know I'm usually at home or not very far away cause I usually have two kids at home but still don't bother. I've got one friend who does pop in which I find really cool.
Fleur, the other day I was in feilding, well actually I went visiting in Halcolme  but you would have been at work in PN !
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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Renee & Lauren
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 2:15pm |
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I am with you in that boat Lou. When I had my first I had my BIL around the corner from us and they hardly ever came to visit us - in fact I think the only time they came over was to visit DH when they went to play tennis. DH's other brother lived in town but again they still never visited us at all. Now again we are living around the corner from BIL and they have to drive past our house to get to and from their house but it still took them 5 weeks before BIL came to see Jayden and that was only to drop off a key so we could collect their mail while they were out of town for a few days. The girlfriend never came around at all and waited until a nieces birthday party til she met Jayden - it really peeved me off.
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Kellyfer
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 2:18pm |
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Nope, you're not the only one - my mother has visited me once since we moved into our house almost 2 years ago. And its not like she has heaps going on, she doesn't work and when I pop in to visit her, she's home 90% of the time.
People don't generally pop round without me organising it, but I can't complain about that, becuase I don't do it to other people. It's probably a good thing, coz our house is usually a mess (and thats without a baby so far) but it would be nice to have occasional surprise visitors. Maybe I should make more of an effort with other people!!
But hugs! You're not a leper. People often only think of themselves and their own wee world.
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caliandjack
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 2:28pm |
Sometimes you have to take the initiative and invite people, when I first went flatting I'd invite my friends over for a mid week dinner - usually something easy to make and it was a great way to catch up and enjoy a nicely cooked meal.
Its a bit harder with kids and often there are gaps in between catching up with people.
Knew I'd get into trouble - your welcome to come over becks, can always go down to the park with the boys.
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[/url] Angel June 2012
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.Mel
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 3:32pm |
No one ever comes and see us I invite people and they say they'll get back to us (yeah right)!! and I'm so sick of hearing "oh we'll come up and see you one day" I've gotten to the point now where I just smile and nod... because I know that they won't. It's their loss I figure because I know that we are "good people"
My parents never come up here either, we always have to make the drive down to Auckland... pisses me off.
*grumble grumble*
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Mr Mellow (16)
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caliandjack
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 3:36pm |
Don't you live in Orewa? If I had friends that lived near the beach I'd be visiting every week. 
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[/url] Angel June 2012
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M2K
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 4:01pm |
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I reakon, Orewa is gorgeous!
I have certain friends say they will pop over, but when it gets to the time I don't hear from them until the next time "sorry I have been slack, will come see you next weekend" thats when I was in town too (some of them still haven't seen Keira when they said they wanted too), now Im 45 min drive away no one wants to drive out here cos its 'tiring' but yet expect me to drive everywhere 'as you will probably want to get out of the house'
Although I did have a friend who when invited would say she had no petrol too but yet drive straight past my house another 20mins past it to go for walks on a particular walking track, so I just gave up but then I heard she was jealous as I was pregnant while she was trying.
Its frustrating as just packing the car can be tiring at the moment haha
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Mucky_Tiger
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 4:11pm |
no one ever comes and visits us cos "we're out the other side of town".
PFFFT we live 5min drive from the centre of town. on the flat.
all of out other friends live 15min from the centre of town and over the bloody big hill, or way out the end of town on the way to head towards to Oamaru
but nope no visitors. we have to go visit them 
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RBsMama
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 4:24pm |
 Mucky_Tiger wrote:
no one ever comes and visits us cos "we're out the other side of town".
PFFFT we live 5min drive from the centre of town. on the flat.
all of out other friends live 15min from the centre of town and over the bloody big hill, or way out the end of town on the way to head towards to Oamaru
but nope no visitors. we have to go visit them |
LOL, we live on the "wrong" side of town, literally and I think that's why some family don't visit that often.
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Mucky_Tiger
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 4:40pm |
Debs, our side of town is the nice side, we get the sun, and the sea and not all cold and dim and blocked by the giant hill.
but nope. no visitors, even if we invite ppl over to drink and they have me as a sober driver they will still find a way to say no
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TheKelly
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 4:47pm |
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I very rarely get people coming over, occasionally a friend will text and say they want to catch up and they will come round , but the majority of the time, they expect us to go there, except WE are the ones who have to either cart the kids around or organise baby sitters, and as none of them have kids yet , C gets bored and whingy and it doesnt make for an enjoyable night .
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caliandjack
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 5:13pm |
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That's why I usually get my friend to come out to the beach, we can sit and have a natter while the kids splash around in the shallows, and the older ones don't get bored. Also apart from petrol to get there its free.
When can we come visit you Mel?
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[/url] Angel June 2012
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flakesitchyfeet
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 5:18pm |
Ditto, and it fustrates me most with family, I have the littlest kids golly gosh damn it!
We get one night a week off though, where we go to a combined potluck which is currently with people our age, mostly they are newlyweds or till studying though, so we feel a bit old. Soon we are doing a marriage course just coz, and part of that is dinner and desert all set up restaurant styles which will be cool - but we'll be the youngest by far, and feel super young.
Slightly OT, sorry! I do feel your pain though 
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flakesitchyfeet
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Posted: 01 July 2010 at 5:20pm |
Mum2Keira wrote:
I reakon, Orewa is gorgeous!
I have certain friends say they will pop over, but when it gets to the time I don't hear from them until the next time "sorry I have been slack, will come see you next weekend" thats when I was in town too (some of them still haven't seen Keira when they said they wanted too), now Im 45 min drive away no one wants to drive out here cos its 'tiring' but yet expect me to drive everywhere 'as you will probably want to get out of the house'
Although I did have a friend who when invited would say she had no petrol too but yet drive straight past my house another 20mins past it to go for walks on a particular walking track, so I just gave up but then I heard she was jealous as I was pregnant while she was trying.
Its frustrating as just packing the car can be tiring at the moment haha |
I'M 45 MINUTES FROM TOWN!
I'll come see you! Stalkerish much? I bet its the other way out of town though. You northward or south?
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Why?
