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luna 
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 408
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 Topic: My poor friends
Posted: 21 February 2007 at 10:23am |
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Just heard from some friends today that they were looking forward to telling everyone they were 12 wks pregnant. However, they had some complications and a scan yesterday and their baby has stopped growing/forming and she is to now lose the baby.
Such sad news, and I blathered on in an email to them feeling like I was no use what so ever ... cos WTF do you say that can make any difference?!
I did tell them everyone here was so supportive and maybe she could come on if she needed some 'faceless' support though.
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Selina
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Roksana
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Manurewa, Auckland
Points: 6137
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Posted: 21 February 2007 at 10:45am |
Good idea! We are all here if she wants to let of some steam!
Its sooo sad when these things happen, I have two friend who lost their babies at 12 weeks....I didnt talk to them for weeks, as I did not know what to say!!
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nuttymama
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: christchurch
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Posted: 21 February 2007 at 10:48am |
How horrible for her. Whether you think so or not you are probably being a big help to them just by being there for them.
As for what do you say that can make a difference not much, but being there for them to talk to and being there just to listen will make a difference.
big hugs 
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Abigail 06/01/2005
Jayden 21/11/2001
Micheal 03/04/1997
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busymum
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 21 February 2007 at 12:31pm |
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It's so hard being the friend of a m/c mum. People all work through m/c so differently but it's good that your friend knows you are there for her if/when she wants to talk about it.
My BIL and his wife went through a m/c nearly 2 years ago, we ended up buying them some vouchers for a restaurant. Another thing that would be nice is a pamper pack... if you want to go down that road. But being open to talk about it is generally the best thing, even if she doesn't choose to do that.
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Andie
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Posted: 21 February 2007 at 3:20pm |
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That's incredibly sad for them - not fair, eh. I think it's the listening part of 'talking' with friends that means the most, so even if you don't know what to say (who ever does in these situations?) being a listening ear might mean the world.
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Andie
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Kels
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Location: Lower Hutt
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Posted: 21 February 2007 at 3:51pm |
 Andie wrote:
I think it's the listening part of 'talking' with friends that means the most, so even if you don't know what to say (who ever does in these situations?) being a listening ear might mean the world. |
I agree
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Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Kels
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Posted: 21 February 2007 at 3:55pm |
Gosh just an awful situation. I had a rough time when working, 2 ladies had m/c while I was preg, (1 lady had 2)  I had to look after them and just felt really bad for them especially when my tummy was sticking out
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Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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miss
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 21 February 2007 at 7:29pm |
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That is so sad. It will be a really hard time for them.
I reccomend the everybody bulletin boards for their miscarriage/loss support, there are some amazingly supportive ladies on there.
Also http://www.thelostones.co.nz/
is an incredible site set up to remember and acknowledge losses, by a woman who suffered a devestating late loss.
Warning - you will cry your heart out if you visit at the sadness experienced by so many people, but for those who have lost their babies it is a wonderful place to go to remember, especially on things like the EDD and loss anniversaries.
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My poor friends
