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Shezamumof3 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 19 August 2010 at 10:36am
Ive been putting it off for a long time, telling myself Im fine and Im just being silly and that i have no reason to feel so worried and stressed all the time.

I really started feeling down and stressed not long after Isabella was born, she has always been a difficult baby, she had terrible reflux and cried all the time, however, the things that have gone on in my life since I had Caden have really taken its toll..
He was late(as most that know me, know) and his labour was so hard on me and he was born by emergency CS in the end, I had some health problems afterwards and it took me a long time to recover fully, I was really traumatized by the whole thing.
I then fell pregnant when he was 5 months old, in this time that I was pregnant with Isabella, I was planning my wedding/got married, moved house and then back home again, was admitted to hospital with really low iron and needed an iron infusion(my iron is always crap when Im pregnant), then Isabella was born via elective CS, that went fine and she breastfed well for 7 months, but her reflux took its toll on me and I was always angry and upset, I lost interest in things like sex and going out, I just wasnt myself, but I didnt really feel that depressed, if that makes sense. I went to Dr and he put my on anti-D's but I only took them for 2 days as they made me feel horrible and gave me an upset tummy.
I went back to the Dr and he did the test thing and I scored low, so no need for Anti-D's anyways.

Things were good for a while, then all of a sudden they started going down hill again, I started to worry SO much about everything! Mostly health issues, I started worrying about death and illness a lot and still do, I worry about car crashes and walking out alone with the kids, I always feel on edge and panicy, I have that nervous feeling in my tummy a lot. and find it so hard to just relax and live life without the constant worry :(

I feel like Im just exisiting and not living! I have always been a worrier, but not to the extent that I am now, Im a hypercondriac and I hate it. I convince myself I have some horrible illness so of course my body goes nuts and then I start freaking out about that, its a vicious cycle. Also my marriage has been suffering because of it :(
Sometimes I am so "nervous" I cant even eat and I end up in the loo with the scoot(sorry TMI) which is what happens to me whenever Im nervous anyways! Im not losing weight or anything, my weight is really stable at 62kg, so Im still eating normally, just cant when Im feeling really anxious.

Ive found a few threads on here that have really helped me, but I was just wondering if anyone else feels like this or has done and what did you do to help yourself?
Ive found herbal things have helped and calming teas and getting out in the fresh air really help me, when Im out and about with friends or family I almost feel normal again.

Sorry for the novel and probably, a million spelling mistakes!

Edited by Sheza
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MerlinFluff View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MerlinFluff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 August 2010 at 1:48pm
sorry to hear you are having such issues. I have had ptsd, depression and panic disorder with agoraphobia for years now. I can really feel where you are coming from on the anxiety/panic side.

Have you got a referral to a counsellor? Sometimes talking things out can help and they are good at putting panics in perspective. CBT is great at breaking the thought patterns in panic and anxiety especially.

If you are not too depressed then anti-D's may not be great for you, though I've been on some that have been good for anxiety but not touched the depression, lexapro really calmed me (but I ended up suicidal :x), mirtazipine was amazing for anxiety and sleeping but you can gain a lot of weight. there are options there.

Also, beta blockers can work really well if your symptoms are very much physical. it helps slow down the pounding heart, shakes etc.

I get the nervous runs all the time. I've been prescribed loperamide (immodium but $4 for 160!) for years and it really helps. can't take it atm as I'm PG again.

Not sure about any of these if you are still breast feeding tho.

Benzos I'd aviod if you can, very hard to come off. Though if they are needed then they are needed. I'm stuck on benzos 3 x daily despite being PG and it's NOT ideal.

Walks, exercise, relaxation, yoga. all good :)

Have you talked to a doc about all this? Mine has been very helpful both before even thinking about kids and now I'm pregnant.

Good luck :)
***Elly***

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Shezamumof3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 August 2010 at 1:58pm
Hi Thanks for replying :)

I havent spoken to my dr yet, but I know I need to, I guess I just wanted to see if I could over come it by myself to start with.

Im thinking councelling might be the way to go, and I'll take my husband along with me for support, we also have marriage issues we need to work through.

I dont do any exercise, I just sit at home and Im so isolated where I live, its out in the country so very pretty but very boring and a 10 min drive into town. We live in a flat attached to my parents house, Ive been in here for years and Im feeling really boxed in and have cabin fever and do do the kids(2 under 3), I think living here is half my problem but we have no choice until we have paid off a lot of debts :(

I really should start walking, even if I have to drive into town and walk around! or do some yoga when the kids are in bed etc. its just ive gotten into this HUGE rut and Im finding it hard to get out of it.

Sorry for my ignorance but what are beta blockers and benzo's?
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myfullhouse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote myfullhouse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 August 2010 at 3:02pm
I have PND as opposed to anxiety but I do know what you mean about being in a rut. I have been in one for a while but have just become very excited and enthuiastic about starting a vege garden so feeling alot better. Can you start a little project/hobby? Could you start a little vege garden? Seeds are cheap, you can start them off in a mini greenhouse made from soft drink bottles. It will help save money on veges, get you outside and is something that the kids can *help* you with

I really think you need to speak with your GP. These sorts of things are not something you can deal with on your own, everyone needs help whether it be a GP, family/friends, counselling etc. I found counselling really good, it helped me realise why I had PND; unfortunately it didn't *treat* it but did help alot

ETA: sorry for the abrupt finish to my post, both boys woke up.
I hope you manage to get things sorted. Alot has happened to you in the last few years, children, moving, wedding, it is not surprising that things are a bit pearshaped

Edited by Linzy
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Shezamumof3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 August 2010 at 3:54pm
Thanks Linzy! :)

I talk heaps with my nana, she is a good listener and doesnt judge and she just always tells me Im not a freak(like I feel I am) and that Im just a normal person going through a hard time. I find it really helps when i talk to someone.

Its so ahrd going from feeling fine, to feeling like you are losing your marbles, I feel as though Im a crap mum somedays. Like today, is a bad day, spent half the morning worried and fretting over stuff, so I went out and had lunch with DH.
Yesterday was a good day though.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote amme_eilyk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 August 2010 at 4:33pm
are you having panic attacks, or a general feeling of panic and anxiety?

You are definitely normal and not a freak. I would definitely try counselling they can help you put in place strategies that allow you to cope with the panic/anxious feeling and to help you get your mind off it if you need it.

If you are having panic attacks that are causing a problem talk to your gp as there are quick onset/offset medications that you can take when a panic attack presents itself.
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myfullhouse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote myfullhouse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 August 2010 at 5:04pm
Glad that you have someone to talk to, I talk to my Mum alot and it helps, often just talking to her helps me put things into perspective. It was talking to her that got me motivated to get something done about Ben's poor sleep, before that I was in a rut and could see a way out and didn't have the energy to try

Have you had a look at Mothers Matter? It has alot of info about PND, PTSD and Anxiety including possible treatments and self care
Lindsey


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Shezamumof3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 August 2010 at 6:59pm
Thanks for that link Linzy its fab!!

amme- no panic attacks as such, just a general panic and anxiety, though I do have moments where I feel toght chested and all jittery and I have to remind myself to calm down and stop being silly
The spray stuff I have helps when that happens.
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Shezamumof3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2010 at 7:54pm
I went for a walk with the kids this morning, and kept myself busy the rest of the day and today I felt pretty much normal, I didnt stress too much which was good, I only used my spray once :)

So I am going to make myself go for a walk everyday providing it isnt raining and set myself a goal for each day, like baking something, etc, and get to bed by 10ish instead of after 12 Im sure me being tired doesnt help matters at all.

Im also going to try and start making my own bread, I need something to feel proud of, like your vege garden Linzy, I think Im going to give that a go too! My nana and grandad have a huge vege garden and Im sure they will give me some pointers :)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote myfullhouse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2010 at 8:23pm
Glad you had a good day Sheza. I know for me that being a SAHM with very little adult contact I often spend alot of time thinking which isn't always good, so keeping busy helps.
It is great to have a small goal each day as achieving it gives you a feeling of accomplishment
Lindsey


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Shezamumof3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2010 at 9:45pm
Yep the days where Im feeling really down and Im bored are the days my mind starts going into over drive and those days are always bad, so I usually go out somewhere just to get out of the house and stop my mind paying tricks on me.

The exercise today really helped, It sort of geared me up for the day!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2010 at 9:29am
Hey Sheena, just saw this post.

I've had anxiety for years, just generally feeling that 'doom' feeling, then I'll have an attack (and that's generally when I start smoking again because the focussed drawing in of breath helps me (weird huh?))

I had counselling when I was a teenager which has definitely helped.

I take beta blockers for migraines (they thin your blood) and they have helped the anxiety too. I don't take my anti-D's anymore even though somedays I think I should, but the majority of the time I'm fine with that side of things.

Exercise really helps me. When I was first diagnosed with depression and chronic anxiety, my friend forced me to go swimming 3 times a week with her. We didn't exercise hard out, but we talked a lot while getting out of the house and exercising. Now with DH gone I can't do that, so I have exercise DVD's that are 30 mins of cardio. Anyone can find 30 mins is what I keep telling myself.

It's really hard hun, I know, but you will get through it with support, time and strategies. I also take rescue remedy and St John's Wort to help if that's an option for you, and Valium at night if I can't sleep (honestly, ask your doc about it, it's not a sleeping pill, it's an anti-anxiety pill and basically switches off your thinking so you can sleep - highly recommend them (from someone who refused to take them for so long!))

ETA you know I'm here for you, hopefully I'll catch you on chat again soon xx

Edited by emz
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Shezamumof3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2010 at 10:50am
Hey, thanks hun *hugs*

I've been for another work today(OMG this time it nearly killed me lol) but I feel refreshed and pleased with myself! I made sure I had breakfast and a cup of camomile tea.
Im just trying to do things that keep my mind off the bad thoughts and stuff, hopefulyl the more I can do that, the anxiety will leave me alone.

Send me a PM on FB when your going to be online next Emz then we can have a girly chat :)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caraMel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2010 at 11:52am
Hey Sheena, sorry to hear you've been having a rough time with it lately.
I've been there at varying degrees and times since I was about 19.
I felt very much the same as you, like a complete nutter and a freak when I was first going through it. I still do at times!
It is amazing though, how many people have it.

It sounds like you're addressing it in all the right ways and making sure you're taking care of yourself.

I know that for me sleep is a major factor. Its easier said than done, making sure you're getting enough sleep when you've got little kids, but I always find the anxiety starts creeping back up when I'm getting over-tired.

Also, making sure I resist the urge to stay home and hermit when I'm having a bad patch. I feel so much better when I get out and spend time with people. Like you say, keeping busy is a great way to distract yourself from the cycle of worrying and obsessing over the bad stuff.

Can you try and identify some of the things that trigger your anxieties too?
One of the things I learned in counselling was to have answers in place for those things so if I was starting to get worked up about them I could focus on what I could do to resolve them.

Another thing I've learned is that I need to limit anything stimulating, coffee, coke, energy drinks, excess sugar.

Can't think of anything else off the top of my head, I hope there is something in there that might help!

Hugs chick, it is not forever.



Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:

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Shezamumof3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2010 at 12:42pm
Thanks Mel :)

Um triggers for me are health issues usually, I always stress that something is wrong with me or the kids. One week I was stressing over freckles and moles and the next it was cancer IYKWIM, and then I make myself so tense and "nervous" that I start stressing even more, because I have these "symptoms" that I know are my anxiety casuing them as when Im out and about and in the fresh air Im feel fine, as soon as Im in my car or house(especially on a crap rainy/windy day) I start to worry obssesivly about these health things.

Ive made the mistake in the past of googling things and FREAKING myself out big time, then I start convincing myself that yes I must have "this" , its so exhausting
Google is evil evil, so I don t google symptoms anymore lol

The last few days Ive felt much better, a few things Ive changed are - As said above, the walking, Ive also tried to eat better, and Ive been in bed before midnight, and generally sleeping all night, except when Bella wakes lol
I was going to bed well after midnight and I think i was getting very over tired, as a few weeks ago I went through a really bad patch, I was just so uptight and worried, and I felt horrible, so of course I thought I must be very sick or something *sigh*
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Brenna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2010 at 7:08pm
HUGS! Anxiety is draining...both mentally and physically.
Well done for speaking out, telling other people is a great start to feeling better.
I used meds to help me but also was part of a support group where we had a GP and other health prof come and talk to us about stuff. They taught us relaxation techniques and that has helped alot.
Keeping busy is a great idea, but it's very tiring to do long term.
I don't want to tell you what to do as everyone gets help in different ways. Just keep talking and let others know how you feel...if they aren't supportive then talk to someone else!
HUGS!!! xo
My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nutella Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2010 at 1:56pm
AW, sounds like you are having a tough time. Now, I don't want this to sound wrong-you are a normal person but your feelings are NOT normal.

I am glad you are doing some things to make you feel better. Just don't forget that you don't have to be strong and getting help from professionals works for so many people. If you are on the right meds you might find that they really work for you. On the other hand a counsellor might be able to suggest some really good techniques to deal with anxiety...so it is really worth seeing someone.

Good luck!



Oct 11
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