Kids and TV

Was going to pop this in 'Kindy and Beyond' but thought I might get a few more replies here.

DS is 3.5yrs and I think he watches too much TV. I would say he watches 3-4 hours a day most days. He isn't great at independent play at all and when I need to get things done around the house, I either have a whingy moaner with me who creates havoc as I try to tidy it up or I stick a DVD on. I've tried going cold turkey with it but by the end of the day I am about to lose the plot. I don't have any extended family around or help around so it is just us for between 10 and 11 hours everyday.

I am trying to remember the idea that you have to do what works for your family but would still be interested to know what others think/do. I am comfortable that he gets enough outdoors play, reading etc. We're out and about twice a day most days, playcentre park etc etc. I'm a SAHM by the way. He starts afternoon kindy in August so that will change the dynamic again a bit I guess.

I suppose I have that mummy guilt that too much TV is really bad for him but really struggle to entertain him all day long (and his little brother) without some outside help!!

Suppose I am looking for reassurance. I guess he will become better at independent play and stoip destroying my house when my back is turned!

We're going through this as well at the moment. We realised that the cause of our 3 year old's tantrums was always the t.v. Either wanting to watch it and not being allowed to, or us changing the channel to watch the news etc. We got so sick of it that we're taking a break from it and it's been awesome. It is hard at times (esp with a newborn) but now he doesn't even ask for it, and he's getting better at entertaining himself. He loves doing puzzles so we've stocked up, and he can happily spend hours doing them. We also go to the library regularly and I've made more of an effort to read to him during the day like I used to.

My husband and I are enjoying being t.v free too, suprisingly. Instead of just blobbing in front of the box at night watching crap, we now enjoy reading magazines/books with a glass of wine while listening to music. Much more enjoyable, and we're getting to bed earlier. Maybe give a t.v break a go, or limit your son to a number of programmes a day. Whatever works for you (like most things in parenting!), but you'll be surprised at how much you will not miss television!

It felt like I got that way during my exams with the kids. Andrew never really watches. I put music on and he would be happy. McKayla on the other hand can some days watch the same dvd 3 or 4 times.

What I did was make activity packs (didnt work with Andrew but then again he sees McKayla as his playmate). And when I had to do stuff and I dont really want them to watch tv I would put music on and they get to choose an activity pack and play while I do my chores. At the end they put it back. So it isnt stuff that is sitting in their room that they can play with whenever they want (as we all know then the toys are boring) but special little things they get when you need to get busy.

Soon they will ask yuo when you have to do stuff again. Keep a few packs of different things. $2 store things can have some nice things: Like dinosaurs. If he is into puzzles that can work great.

A whole bunch of small and big washing pegs.

Pieces of material and scissors

Special coloring book and pens or pencils

I don't really agree with TV for kids at all (please don't think I'm judging you for it, I'm just saying its not what I think is best for my DD) and my DD watches maybe 20 minutes twice a week (and probably a bit at her Dad's when she is there on a Friday.

She is quite good at entertaining herself and has a large Thomas train set she plays with all the time. She also has a dress up box full of stuff she uses. Lots of books and puzzles and we go to the library once a week or so. She also loves duplo and we have wooden blocks so sometimes she makes tunnels and stuff for her trains. She is quite happy to spend ages drawing. I brought her some notebooks and she has paper, felts, colour pencils, crayons and stickers at her little table and she sits and draws for ages. I let her ride her trike inside and she has a mini trampoline that is also inside. She likes to "help" me cook and clean, load and unload the dishwasher, peg washing on the clothes airer and fold and put washing away. Somedays she basically just follows me around and helps me with stuff.

Hope that gives you a few ideas. I think the more time kids spend having to entertain themselves the better at it they get.

hehe this one will start a good old debate!
Personally i am right against TV as much as possible, but also realise a sml amount of it is healthy. i intend to do TV for maybe 1 hours when E is that old, but who knows once I get there... i can understand the frustrations of parents just trying to get some time to get things done and sometimes the best way to do that is to plonk them infront of a screen, at least you know they are quietr and entertained while you hang out the washing or whatever, so i am open to changing my mind. i just have 2 stepsons that were totally addicted to tv when i got on the scene and took ages to ween them off it, so i want to try and do as little as possible cuz once they are hooked it is real hard to break the cycle.

We moved to a place on solar power so all we have is a little portable dvd player and a collection of dvds lol I can understand your dilemma though we are in a housebus so when its absolutely pissing down outside and theres me, a 3yo and a 1yo stuck in a very small space it can be insane. We don't have family around either and we live in the wops so its isolated.

My 3yo is pretty good at independent play and always has been but my 1yo was born clingy I'm encouraging him to be more independent by starting him off with something then stepping away for a couple of minutes, then coming back and seeing how hes going and giving some encouragement then stepping away again. Its working well, he can now play happily for up to half an hour without needing anything and I expect that time will continue to stretch out as he gets older.

I've always found it easier to get my boys playing when their toys are seperated into containers so all the blocks in one, all the cars in another, thomas in that one, lego in this one, mr potato head over there. They don't have to search for anything and it makes it easier for them to tidy up after themselves too.

If my 3yo is being whingy he gets 3 options - he can play quietly with his choice of toy, I can set him up with playdough or our art box, or he can go have a nap so I don't have to hear him grizzling (after I make sure hes not hungry or thirsty). The buzzer gets set for anywhere from 15-30 minutes (I have a pretty good idea of how long each thing holds his attention) then we'll reassess and if hes having fun we set the buzzer again otherwise he gets another choice. If he just packs a paddy he gets a cuddle, a story if he wants it then straight into bed. Hes going through a major growth spurt ATM so hes tired and hungry constantly and we do have grizzly days but having a system helps my sanity!

The recommendation is for preschoolers to watch a max of 2 hours per day.
I struggle with this myself, as although I would like DS to watch less TV (and it is very easy for someone with one younger child to say they shouldn't watch so much too, by the way! so don't let that worry you .... everyones situation is different) the reality was that the week he was turning 2, DD was born, so I did encourage him to watch TV at that time so I could feed her or get her into bed without him wrapped aorund my leg.

He is great at independant play, and has been for 18mths now, but at almost 4 he loves TV and asks for it alot. I think he'd watch it all day if I let him! He does two days of daycare and two half days at kindy and we also do coffee group and playcentre and soccer .... so I feel that he does alot in his week, and by the end of the day he can be quite tired and likes to snuggle on the couch watching a couple of programmes and I'm OK with that. I find it hard when the time creeps up during the day though - ie: the odd 30-60mins before we leave the house in the morning (DD barely sits still, so some mornings it helps to have one not whinging at least while I'm getting ready!) and the odd hour when I'm getting DD in bed for a nap and hes having lunch, so I can eat in peace and clean the kitchen .... then theres his usual hour before bed. So yeah, some days he watches a bit too! I try to stick to just the "after bath" time and lunchtime on the days we're home, so its set time and he knows those are the only times. And I tell him how many programmes he can watch (2 usually) then its off. So you could try that? Maybe no TV til after lunch or something? I'd gradually cut it down so he gets used to having it on less.

DD is two next month and just in the last 2 weeks has started watching for maybe 15-20 mins at a time, so about the same age DS got interested in TV (neither watched it at all before that, even if it was on). So I'm definitely going to try and not have it on too much during the day --- but its nice to have a shower without her waiting outside for a change!!

Sorry for the novel! Its something I've been thinking about lately too ... and wondering how much TV other preschoolers watch too .... (From what I can gather from friends kids --- the ones that are not at daycare seem to watch more, because they are home more, especially those with younger siblings).

My DH has the tv on all the time <sigh> and Alia is tv mad, but Cooper couldn't care less unless it was cars or trains.

Each kid is so different, they also have to learn how to play & how to play independently. By turning the tv off you are forcing him to play so he'll learn reasonably fast. Find out what he really likes, ie puzzles, trains, blocks.

Also I clean the kitchen when the kids are sitting down to morning tea, lunch, arvo tea etc. Find jobs that you can work in around what they'll be doing. So hang out washing while they play with a ball, do puzzles in the lounge while you sit on floor & fold washing.

Also get him to help you do tasks?

Im not bothered by the tele being on, my big girl even says dance like she is australian! but she is at kindy 3 days a week and will get outside the first chance she gets and to be honest she has learnt loads form it.
Im always listening to whatever she is watching, and if she talks to me about it then I engage in what ever she is watching / learning . As soon as a singing or music programme come on even my litle one stops what she is doing to watch
She usually watches Dora and kai lan and that kind of thing - that has some element of education in it - she speaks a little of both now languages now and I help her learn the words
The only issue I have with kids TV is the stupid stuff like wot wots, and angry asian rubbish with fighting and stuff. We dont do DVD's - Id rather not encourage her top sit down and watch for an hour - she tends to bumble arpund the house doing her thing until something catches her eye

@HoneybunsMa I know what you mean, this house is exactly like that. Hopefully we can move before bub starts paying attention to the telly.