Sleep.....

I am having the same problem with my daughter as well. Plus i am pregnant. She is one years old. She started developing this problem at 11 months old.

What I do now. Is that I wait until she is in a deep sleep on my bed and then move her to her cot. She is fine until 2am when she realises that she is in her own bed. That is when I have a pre-made bottle of formula ready to give to her. Than i pass her the bottle and she goes back to sleep.

"But I'm at a loss as to how I achieve it. I can't put him down at any stage of drowzy because as soon as he realises he in the cot he sits up. If I put him in awake and try and pat him to sleep he just sits or stands up."

If he sits or stands up, then so what? You can't be going in every time to lie him back down, that makes an excellent jack in the box game. He will figure out that when he is tired he will lie down, you can't do that one for him.

I had the same thing with DS2, figured out that it was turning into a game for him. If he sat up, or stood up, I still left the room, continued doing what I had always done. If he was getting really upset, then I would pick him up and cuddle him, then pop him back into bed. Repeat and repeat and repeat. There was no point in having a battle over lying him down, he was always going to solve that by getting back up and we were both going to end in tears.

From about 8 months my DS would only go to sleep on my knee (in a rocking chair in his room) for both his day and night sleeps and then I would transfer him to his cot (prior to that he would self settle after his night feed). I should note he was only waking once a night for a feed though unlike your wee man.

I started night weaning my DS at about 11 months when I got pregnant again (I wanted the longest possible time to encourage him to sleep well before the new bubs arrives). The weaning went fine, but he was still waking each night and needing cuddling back to sleep. It started taking longer and longer to get him back down so I decided to try getting him to fall asleep in his bed. We are not a CC or CIO family so that wasn't something we were prepared to try.

Anyway what I started doing was cuddling him over the side of the cot and lying him down and rubbing his back. So I was there with him giving him comfort, but not picking him up. He did cry, but it was more a protest cry than an upset cry and I was okay with the crying providing I was there offering him comfort. When he calmed I'd sit on a chair next to his cot and then repeat as needed until he fell asleep. It took over two hours the first night, about 1.5 hours the next night and then very quickly it came down to just needing me to go in, lie him down and then I could leave and he would go back to sleep on his own. Within about a week he was sleeping through most nights.

I do believe he was at a point where he was ready to do this and that it wouldn't have worked if I had done it before he some understanding that I wanted him to sleep (rather than just thinking why wont Mum do what I want).

It wasn't until about 2 months ago (when he was about 15 months) that we finally got him reliably self-settling at the beginning of his naps/night time sleep and I still sometimes need to stay with him for a bit in the evenings, so for us it wasn't necessary to deal with all the self settling at once and it worked much better concentrating on one aspect at a time.

It is still not perfect and we have the odd night where he wakes and wont settle for ages, but I follow the same steps where I don't pick him up, but instead lie him down and rub his back for a bit and stay as long as I'm needed (sometimes I leave a bit soon and he lets me know pretty quickly he wants me back in there again!!) Usually this only lasts a night or two before he settles into sleeping through again.

Oh, and the other thing we have worked out is that if he does wake and cry out it is best to try and settle him really quickly as the longer he is left the more he wakes up and the longer it takes to get him back to sleep. If we get to him straight away he will often go straight back to sleep.

Hope that you find something that works for you soon and that there might be something a little helpful in my novel above .

www.sleepstore.co.nz have some great sleep advice that might help.

definately try shellgirls advice, don't pick him up again after you put him down in the cot just pat and shush him while in his cot, if he stands up, gently lie him down again. Say 'its time for sleep' It will definately take time because he's so used to falling asleep in your arms, and feel like its not working, but you will get there.
Also does he have a comforter toy/blanket/dummy, if he has something in his cot it may help him to go back to sleep after waking, maybe even something that smells of you will help.

We introduced the cuddly at that age, and put it in between us during feeding and story times. He needs something that will fit in his hand and he can chew on, have a look on the sleep store for a cuski, and you will see the kind of thing.

DS2 has really bonded with his cuski, he loves the knot in the hat, he rubs it on his face during sleepy feeds, and he sucks on the knot once in bed.

Maybe try putting knots in the blankie so he has something to hold onto, sleep with it under your pjs and have it between you for feeds, and see if that helps him adopt it, and give him an option during the night that isn't you.

Edited by maya22

Thanks maya22, a friend has cuskies for her twins so I might try one.

MammaT I think you might be right. He is super clingy and he started pulling up and cruising about a month ago, crawling on Christmas day and started standing on his own today. I think his wee brain is just so busy it can't switch off!

Good idea!