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Highlander View Drop Down
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    Posted: 07 June 2007 at 4:03pm
Hi everyone,

Just wondering if anyone has experience of dads staying at home instead of mums and how common (or uncommon) this is??

Reason I ask is that I am going to be returning to work full-time when baby is 5 months and DP is going to be staying at home, and I was keen to see if anyone else was in this situation and how did DP/DH enjoy it?
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busymum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2007 at 4:13pm
rug_nz is a SAHD, you might want to PM him - although he'll probably see this post anyway.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2007 at 4:14pm
I know there is at least one SAHD lurking out there, his nickname is rug_nz - hopefully he will spot this thread and be able to tell you about his experiences
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2007 at 4:14pm
LOL snap Theresa
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busymum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2007 at 4:18pm
I beat ya!
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sunnyhoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sunnyhoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2007 at 5:37pm
I wonder if they would set up a special thread for Dad's (Dad's to be, SAHD's, Dad's in general). Aren't there a couple of Dad's already OhBaby regulars?
Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
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Bizzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2007 at 5:43pm
i think it was discussed prev and decided there wasnt enough interest/need/members
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lizzle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lizzle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2007 at 8:15pm
my hubby worked part-time when Jake was a baby. he went to work when i came home pretty much. At the mo I am on teaching practice and he is at home til 5 when he goes to work. i think he enjoys it, but does find it tiring.
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Bombshell View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bombshell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2007 at 11:02pm
BSDH would love to stay home with Ella....and we would we didnt want more money coming in!!!

I think it is very special that a dad can stay home with his bubs....what a great way to bond and enjoy one another...why should it just be for mums!!!
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Bumble View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bumble Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 June 2007 at 9:53am
After I had gone back to work when Ethan was 11ms old, things weren't working out. I was tired, Ethan was tired and always sick, DH was bearing the brunt of it.
I had also just gotten an awesome new position at work (Senior Quality and Training Specialist)
DH and I had talks over 3 months to see whether one of us staying home would work. It was going to be a stretch with either one of us giving up our salary. DH earnt the most (only by 2k....) but more importantly he had the potential to gain more income faster than what I could. Thats how we chose who stayed and who went to work. DH would have loved to have been a SAHD...
formerly known as "Bee"

Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy!
Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones!
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Bizzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 June 2007 at 10:16am
my husband said he would like it but didnt think he would be able to handle it in the end...maybe we should try it??? maybe not, that would mean i would have to look for and get a job...eek!!!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MummyFreckle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 June 2007 at 10:48am

My brother is a SAHD to my fantastic 2 year old nephew. He does really well, considering that he doesnt drive and they live in a semi-rural location.

Think he found it hard going to plunket and things like that - he said that he used to feel a little bit "judged" by Plunket and the ladies in the waiting room.

 

 

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Highlander View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Highlander Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 June 2007 at 10:55am
Thanks all for your replies - appreciate it! I think my DP is a bit concerned that everything i.e. ante-natal coffee mornings, plunket groups are geared towards the woman staying at home, so we'll have to see how those go. Obviously I'll be doing all that while I'm off work so if we go to these things together, I guess everyone will get used to seeing a bloke there!

I wonder if I'll have to deal with any comments about going back to work when baby is still so young - I'm sure DP will get comments when he's out with bubs. I reckon he'll enjoy it much more than he thinks he will
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote daikini Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 June 2007 at 11:46am
For a slightly different perspective: my Dad was a SAHD when my sister and brother were young... Mum could earn more, and my brother S was bottle-fed (adopted at birth) so they decided Dad would stay home. I was 13, my sister K was 3 and S was 1 when this arrangement started, and it continued until S started school.

Dad said that it was a lot of fun. Then (early 90s) there weren't many SAHDs and Dad didn't go to a coffee group or anything like that as he felt uncomfortable sitting around with a bunch of women. Mind you, Dad doesn't like sitting talking with a group generally! Once my sister started kindy though, Dad was fine. He got really involved, was the treasurer on the committee and always loved his turn as Parent Help. By the time S started kindy a couple of years later Dad said that about 1/4 of the Parent Helps were other dads.

Dad started off not knowing much about cooking... we had soup, toasted sandwiches, or BBQed everything lots to begin with. By the end, though, Dad was getting pretty good and he makes a fabulous meatless spaghetti bolognase type of dish that's become his speciality.
Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys
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emz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 June 2007 at 3:47pm
I was brought up by a SAHD! And it was awesome!

Apart from being brought to mums work with marmite over my face, whatever I wanted to wear, the time my sister got her hair stuck in curling irons so he cut it off, when he hosed us down after pooing our nappies instead of cleaning our bums (no wipes left, so instead of using something else... )

My dad had an accident a few years before I was born and hasn't worked since, so it was a necessity. He was the coolest parent help on school trips (always bring his soft-top 4WD to impress my friends), used to take us to Macca's secretly every Friday.. I love it. I did, however resent my mum for leaving me so young and I struggled to bond with her fully, but now in later life I understand that she made a huge sacrifice for us (she says she would have loved nothing more than to stay home).

I guess that's the case with most parents today though, but back then it wasn't as common for both parents to be working. That's why there will be at least one of us at home, and seeing as DH earns about 10k more than I would IF I could find a job when I graduate, it's a no-brainer!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jaz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 June 2007 at 7:22pm
Highlander, we are planning to the same thing so I can't speak from experience yet. The advise I've had from others is to make sure you agree before hand who will do what before hand because the last thing you want to do when you get home is all the household tasks (if you assumed he would take them over when you went back to work).
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