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Kels
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Lower Hutt
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Topic: Working mums....... Posted: 01 August 2007 at 6:51pm |
How did you prepare your babies for going into care when returning to work? I am returning to work in just over a week and Im unsure if I should prepare him by leaving him with his carer for an hour for a few days next week or just treasure the time we have together while Im still at home (as you can tell Im sooo not ready to go back and wish soooo much I didnt have too  )..
Also wondering how long does it takes for babies to get used to being away from you and how long will it take for me to get over this guilt?
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Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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busymum
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 01 August 2007 at 7:18pm |
Forever!  just kidding.
I would recommend you leave him, but your phone on - go do the groceries or something to keep you busy. It can be a nice little practice and doesn't have to be as long as what it will be when you're working. And it will just help any Q&A between you and the caregiver to be eased out - and perhaps make you feel better when you are working cause you know he's been ok once already.
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deharn
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Posted: 01 August 2007 at 9:12pm |
You don't ever get over the guilt, however it does get a little easier I think. I cried as soon as I got off the phone from being told I had the job, and I mean cried!!!! Everytime I looked at my son, thought of him cuddled him I would cry. This went on for days until I finally secured and decided on who I was leaving him with. If you can be completely confident that where you leave bub is safe, nurturing and secure I think that is a big help.
I am now 4 months into working and whilst I miss being at home with my DS, I also enjoy the contact, stimulation and of course the extra money.
Remember that whislt you will be tired and at times frustrated try to make quality time with your little one. You will beign to appreciate a lot of things you currently take for granted. Our weekends are precious and we always try to do something really special together as a family. Even if that means just a walk in the park together, all laying in bed together to watch a movie and falling asleep, going out for pancakes etc etc.
I also take a lotto ticket occasionally just in hope!!
All the very best
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Maya
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Posted: 01 August 2007 at 9:42pm |
We did a week of 'settling' with Maya when she started daycare at 5 months, the first day was just a visit, second day I stayed a few minutes with her and picked her up early and then the next day she went as per her scheduled hours. We didn't have any problems, but she was young enough that she didn't have the whole separation anxiety thing. With the gremlins I left them with the new nanny the first day she came, but that was after she had spent the morning playing with them with me around for them to get used to her.
And no, the guilt doesn't ever go away, but when I saw how much Maya was getting out of daycare in terms of social development etc. and the benefits to our future of me being able to go back to study/work then it kind of outweighs the guilt.
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 Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
  The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
 Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
 Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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AnnC
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Posted: 01 August 2007 at 10:01pm |
kels I think guilt sums up a mother - you feel guilty if you don't worka nd guilty if you do.
Perhaps leaving Alize with his carer will help you too with the seperation. also teaches alize its ok to go as I come back. If hes like rhyley he is stil ok to go to ppl and Alize knows this lady.
Its not easy but it'll be ok.
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Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Leish
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Posted: 01 August 2007 at 10:20pm |
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Kels
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Posted: 01 August 2007 at 10:20pm |
deharn wrote:
Everytime I looked at my son, thought of him cuddled him I would cry.
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OMG that exactly how I am at the moment. A friend of mine who Alize has seen pretty much everyday of his wee life is having him so I cant complain about that.
I might try a comb of what Teresa and Emma said and do it on the last couple of days of next week. Oh gosh its all so overwhelming sometimes Ahh such as life or should I say "such as motherhood".
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Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Maya
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Posted: 01 August 2007 at 10:27pm |
AnnC wrote:
kels I think guilt sums up a mother - you feel guilty if you don't worka nd guilty if you do.
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Absolutely! Babies should come with a warning: Caution: You will worry so much you will be old before your time
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 Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
  The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
 Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
 Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Kels
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Posted: 01 August 2007 at 11:30pm |
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Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Posted: 02 August 2007 at 10:28am |
We are in transition at the mo from homecare to daycare.
Last week we took Tyrell as a family. We stayed for an hour and he just played and mingled. Now today I am going to take him, make sure he is settled and leave him for an hour on his own.
I feel at the end of the day I am at work to be able to provide for my son.
Best of luck, I am sure it will all be fine! 
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