Stresses from a Toddler

Is she getting much one-on-one time with you? Just wondering if she is pushing things to get your attention in a negative way. Next thing I would look at is whether she is getting enough sleep/food (my 2yo eats like a horse and would gladly eat every couple of hours). Are you consistent with the naughty corner? I really struggle with this one at times, again it's my 2yo also, she's quite strong-willed and it takes a lot of mental energy. When all else fails, I put her to bed with a book and her doll for 1/2 hour (or longer if she falls asleep ) for a "rest". Good thing she can't tell the time, but sometimes she (and I probably) just seems to need a bit of quiet time... If she has been sent to the naughty corner a few times in a short space of time it is an indicator to me that something else isn't quite right.

When my eldest was 2 I found that the day always worked heaps better if I had dedicated about 1/2 hour in the morning with her, doing something together like reading or drawing or using scissors etc. And she would often continue doing that after our 1/2 hour was up, kinda like I had shown her how to play by herself or whatever.

The other big thing for 2yos is boredom. Recently we went and bought some stationery for Briona: scissors, (washable) feltpens, and stickers; and she really loves spending time with them. She also needs a good amount of time outside every day, if possible.

Hopefully something in there can be of help. Oh btw, if you ever need to put her in her room with a book for time out for yourself, it takes just 10 minutes to sit down and have a cuppa

Well for the naughty corner we use the bathroom, I guess the biggest difference with that is that I'm out of eyeshot. (We leave the door open btw.) I think one of the keys with the naughty corner is to not interact while they are there. Sometimes Briona will grizzle and say "sorry mum, sorry mum..." as well, but I just ignore it until it's time to get her. Perhaps drop down to just one minute, be hard on yourself and make her stay there for one whole minute every time, and then once you've mastered that, go back up to 2 mins if you think that's what she needs.

When you put her to bed for a nap/sleep, does she sleep independently? Hopefully she doesn't scream then? With bedtimes, it goes like this for us: child is put to bed, tucked in, has a comfort doll (no other toys in the bedroom as a general rule), kiss goodnight, leave the room with the door ajar. If she comes out, we tuck her back in (no nonsense, not much talk etc) and shut the door tight. And it stays tight until the morning. The next night they start with ajar again, etc. It does work, because they get used to the routine of it once there is consistency there etc.

When it comes to getting dressed, toiletting, etc, if you want to reclaim your independence (lol) you may just need to shut the door on that too. Just say something matter of fact so she knows where you are going (and doesn't freak out)... so it would go something like this:
you "Mummy's just going to the toilet Brianna, I'll be back in a minute"
she (follows you)
you (walks to the toilet and shuts the door with no more talking, or just a "I'll be out in a minute" (pleasant voice))
she (screams the house down)
Ignore her until you are ready to open the door, then give her a quick hug and divert her attention to something you're going to do together, or what is she going to do now etc. Don't let her have a prolonged cuddle etc at that point because otherwise she'll just milk it for what it's worth

Do you hang out with other mothers much? She has got quite used to having you "on demand", hasn't she? No wonder you need some space! If you can get a friend and her kid over (or vice versa) from time to time, it could really help. It's a good age for her to start learning to make friends but also to be more confident around other adults too. She'll get used to the other mum so that when you say you're just popping out to get the washing, or go to the toilet etc, she will (eventually) be happy to stay in your friend's care for those short times. This will help you for when you need time off or are sick and especially for when your new little baby is going to be born. I know that's a while away, it just makes it a long-term goal that by that time she will be okay to spend a day in someone else's care without you. (Scary, I know!) A lot of children her age are involved in some kind of playcentre/daycare/etc, I don't know how you feel about enrolling her somewhere (I'd start with playcentre with you there also); IMO it suits some kids and not others.

I'll just add to what Teresa said. When we have to use time out for either of the girls, but well, mostly this happens with ayja as paris tends to sit there and sulk. We don't make her be quiet (within reason, being rude towards us isn't allowed though), but she is expected to sit there the full amount of time, nicely, and she does try, many times to get out, the area she sits in is lino, by the back door and is out of eyecontact with anybody. she has to stay on the lino , any time she moves outo nto the carpet she gets put back, can take up to 10 put-backs before she gives up and sits there, usually still crying or having a bit of a tanty, but once her time is up (after she has actually sat there for 2 mins) we go and do the talking thing and a cuddle before she is off to go play again, ask her why she thinks you put her in time out, explain why, then suggest what maybe she could/should have done instead that might have been better and thats it.    I think, i have also found, it should be used for the big stuff, ie, the stuff that is really naughty.. which for us, is anything involving violence towards others purposefully, or being really naughty/rough with toys, or if the tantrum she is having escalates despite talking and suggestions of other things/offers of cuddles. The rest is warning material, reminder of what she should be doing ( i usually ask her if she thinks that's ok.. to which we get "no mummy"), why she shouldn't be doing what she is doing (again, i tend to ask her what better behaviour could she do instead) and a warning that continuing that behaviour could end up in time out.

Edited by mum2paris

The climbing thing is definitely a big issue atm. She's fallen 3 times in the last 24 hours and 2 times hurt herself really bad and it could have been so much worse.
I'm finding it really hard just to relax lately and feel like I'm shouting at her all the time.
Thanks for the advice re the naughty corner, I'm definitely going to be more persistent with it.

Busymum, she is now going to daycare 2 times a week. She's such a friendly girl who really would go with anyone, so I don't think its anything to do with attachment issues. But apart from that, she is with me all other times. Maybe she is getting a little bored, or maybe she just likes to see me get mad

hi melissa, sorry that things are feeling a bit rough for you at the moment. what playgroups do you take brianna to? i found that xanthe had too much energy and needed more stimulation than boring old mum could provide, so we started going to groups and things, and it really helped - she got to burn off energy, be stimulated, AND learn how to behave when out ;)

i hope it is just a stage she is going through. what days does she go to daycare?

snap, xanthe goes to surrey park on a wednesday, from 10 - 3 (just going to start going from 9-3 when i can get myself out of bed in time lol) she is in the preschool room though, so probably wont come across brianna