Breast vs Bottle

For those of us struggling with the bottle vs breast dilemma - my DH found this Interesting article:  http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CACA0.htm 

Yep that so true - I struggled and struggled for months trying to breastfeed Paris and it took me a long long time to get to the point where i accepted that i should give her a bottle of formula - i felt guilty all the time, i hated being a failure, I wanted so much to breastfeed. I hated being at mother's groups and having to do the walk of shame across the room to get the bottle cos everyone else was breastfeeding their babies, and me, i just couldn't get her to feed.
I felt guilt, i felt shame, i felt i was failing as a mother but i felt all the other things mentioned there including relief at finally getting her fed and happier than she had been.

however, i do see the other side. i do agree that the baby friendly hospital thing has made it much harder for mums and bubs and i find myself having struggles with how to give advice to mums. i remember one mum having no end of problems and being in the same mindset that i could plainly see i had been in with paris, down to behaviours and what she said too. everyone just kept saying "just give them the bottle" but she wouldn't.... i told her what i went through with Paris, I told her i had been through the same, and i also said that i wasn't going to say "just give them formula" because nothing like that was helpful to say and she would not just decide like that, it s a mental process you go through to be able to switch to formula when your heart had been set on this one thing (a bit that same as having heart set on a 'natural' birth and ending up with a c-section). I left it to her, told the others to back off, and told her whatever she did she was a great mum and she'd do what she felt was best when she reached her own decision.

I try and give good advice, but also help either way, i do stress the importance of great support and seeking help and it seems that usualy 2nd time mums that had a bad experience the 1st time tend to take that advice a bit more having learnt through experience that you can't be supermum 24/7 I try and promote the idea of breastfeeding but also remember that a happy healthy mum is much better than a stressed out upset one.

Very interesting article.

I am very very much a pro breastfeeder, however I would never push my thoughts/feelings onto others, as I had lots and lots of problems with feeding Jacob, and ended up mix feeding him.

Te decision to bottle feed baby is a very very tough one indeed.

I help run a breast feeding support group through our hospital here, and what upsets me soooo sooooo much is the lack of information given to new mums regarding common BF problems, and the lack of support from their already overworked midwives and lack of funding for more hours for lactation consultants.

Basically mums just don't know where to get help and what is normal and what is not. Also, no one seems to tell expecting mums that breast feeding is hard in the beginning and it hurts and it takes ages, and babies want to feed all the time, especially at night BUT by about 4 to 6 weeks, things will have settled in somewhat and you won't feel so fingers and thumbs.

Thnigs new mums often don't know are: Milk takes about 3 days to come in, depending on the circumstances of your delivery. Epidural/ceaser/prem birth all can effect how and whn milk comes in. Baby won't starve until then
You don't "run out of milk" as your body makes most of it while you are feeding. To help your supply you need to rest in the afternoons (sit for half an hour with a big drink, a banana and a book)
A breast pump does not express as much as your baby will, so don't be alarmed and think you are starving your baby if you express and only get 30 ml
Babies tummies are very very very small
You need to drink lots of water
about 98% of people can actually breastfeed, the amount of people who actually can't is very very minute.

I was one of the 2% who physically was unable to, I had no milk supply whatever. With the help of the ward staff, my midwife and a lactation consultant (and a supply of milk producing tablets that I took every day for 10 months) I was able to breast feed Jacob from 6 weeks, and all that hard work meant that the receptors were laid down and this time i have been able to feed char no problems at all. It was well worth it!

As you can tell, I am a breastfeeding nerd and proud of it.

edited to add, on the % of physically able/unable to feed part there are alot more mums who could feed, but it just didn't work out for them etc.

Edited by fattartsrock

I soooo agree with you Annie. I also find alot of young mums have pressure on from family to breastfeed but have no idea of all the things you said - i do the "the first 6 weeks are the hardest" talk too, sometimes worry that it may scare them but i think it helps them to realise they can push on through if they have the right SUPPORT and definatley funding for Lc's is soooooo worth it.

There are so many other reasons for not breastfeeding.. we know a family memeber that is on medication that meant she couldn't feed her baby - it would not have been safe, there are others who may have had a history of abuse issues when they were younger and the thought of having anyone, even their own baby, near breasts etc can be very hard for them.

There are so many reasons, and mostly, most people are not the ones that put the pressure on, it can be the mums themselves that put the judgement on themselves.. i realised once things settled down with Paris that no-one really had been giving me grief.. they were relived that i was happy again and that it found a way for me to stop stressing myself out so much.. it was myself that was making.. well.. myself feel like utter bollocks about it.

cuppatea wrote: mum2paris wrote: There are so many reasons, and mostly, most people are not the ones that put the pressure on, it can be the mums themselves that put the judgement on themselves.. . Totally agree

yep me too

I also beleive that all mums need to support each other, no matter how we choose to feed our children or what nappies we put on their bums. Support from your peers is the most important thing!!

I only ended up breastfeeding for 3 weeks, then my milk supply dropped right off and Coopers weight dropped too. I was expressing, breastfeeding, and topping up with formula. It became so tiring and stressful and really upsetting for the both of us. He was always crying at the boob and preferred the bottle and he was happier for it. I struggled alone with my decision to give up breastfeeding. I started resenting Cooper and my husband (he'd come home everyday and say, how much did you express, how many bottles did you give him etc) and I didn't like feeling that way towards either of them. I also struggled with the fact that I didn't feel like I had bonded with Cooper and I struggled with not being able to soothe him the way I had one with my other two. When he cried and he was handed to me he kept crying, he never stopped and thought oh cool heres mummy I'm safe now....

Someone told me about Domperidone and how it can increase your milk supply; so in the end I went to the doctors and got prescribed it but by that stage Cooper was over the whole breastfeeding thing and basically refused point blank to even try it..again it was stressful and I stayed on it for two weeks and gave up..I accepted the fact that I wasn't going to be able to feed him like I had the other two.

I've been working on creating a stronger bond with him, and he's gaining weight, and is so much happier on the bottle....and too me that's more important.

fattartsrock wrote: I also beleive that all mums need to support each other, no matter how we choose to feed our children or what nappies we put on their bums. Support from your peers is the most important thing!!

so true... mothers groups can be harsh sometimes... I wish more people were like this!

We made the decision to stop beating ourselves up about it (okay I made the decision to not feel so guilty about it) and we are happy in our choice to give Ollie both breast and bottle. He is fine with both at the moment and in our opinion its better to have a de-stressed mummy!

No-one told me that my milk would take a few days to come in, and I was having problems even expressing any colostrum.....only the m/w's were able to get it out by man-handling my poor boobs!! I was devasted when the paediatrician said he was dehydrated and that we needed to top him up on formula. I felt like such a failure and sadly the m/w's were not able to offer me any soothing advice or even show me how to give a bottle!! We muddled through on our own... My own m/w is supportive of our decisions but doesnt "offer" any advice really!