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Andi_C
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Topic: BD not so easy - this is overshare Posted: 16 January 2008 at 8:20am |
Hi girls, I know this is going to be overshare but I really need to put it out to someone.
I'm worried that my husband and I will have trouble getting pregnant because of our sex life. He is uncut, but never did the skin stretching thing over the head (mum's with little boys uncut will get what I mean). So he basically hasn't got a great deal of sensitivity and penetration isn't his favorite type of bed sport (as a result I think). It has gratted a little on me for years, and I hate to say it but I sometimes feel like he is less manly because of this. He has popped only a few times and always with me on top - which is not a good position for baby making and damn tiering for me to do all the work (especially as often as need for BDing). The other times we've BDed he has basically gone "manual" and then popped it inside.
I'm worried that without that gunshot effect the sperm will never make it far enough inside me to actually get to the egg. Last month when he did this I did get an explosion of my own which I believe helps draw all the fluid up further - but is that enough without his?
I'm feeling so judgemental of him around this issue and I worry that if we have to resort to the turky baster that I'll really get cross with him and his manhood. I hate that I think like this but that's how it is. Anyway, thanks for listening.
Edited by Andi_C
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my2angels
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 8:48am |
Ummm I could be completely wrong here and Im not sure if Im 'medically correct' when i say this but I dont think that just because he is 'uncut' would decrease the sensitivity enough to cause this sort of problem, especially if he can still do it manually. I personally would be thinking there is more of an issue here. Sorry if thats a bad thing to say but Ive never heard of this being a problem and Ive never heard they need to do any skin stretching thing. I know Ive been told with my son that nature will do its own thing and they only need to stretch or cut it if its really tight and can then be painful.
On the baby making side of it, again im not 100% sure but while it might take longer and be a bit of a long shot im pretty sure you could still get pregnant. Maybe try elevating with pillows under your bum after or something.
Edited by my2angels
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 8:56am |
i was going to say exactly the same thing.. I've also never heard of the skin stretching thing ..sounds painful:( and havent had any problems in my relationships with uncut men..
as far as the sex thing goes I would also agree with my2angels..
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CuriousG
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 8:56am |
Sensitive topic I know, but has he ever considering becoming 'cut' so that he does have more sensitivity?
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peanut butter
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:01am |
I thought it was the other way around. "cut" lost the sensitivity? At least thats what the males complain about
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:07am |
yes actually good point nzpiper..though my DH hant complained about that...lol. it does sound to me like he has something else going on:( (thats not meant to offend you it's just the situation sounds very unusual)
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The_Stuarts
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:20am |
Hey Andi_C I agree with My2Angels about the allevation. If it works better for you on top then go for it that way (extra exercise is great for you pre-pregnancy) then flip over, put some cushions under your hips, relax and read a book.
I hate to be uncomfortably personal but have you thought about trying other positions (not talking about the usual 4-5 that we all pull out but maybe take a leaf out of Stings book and look into Tantric or similar) maybe you haven't yet found the position that works the best for both of you to enjoy. Remember Bding should be fun first and foremost.
p.s. I also heard (during my antenatal classes) that cut men have less or no sensitivity at the tip.
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CuriousG
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:26am |
I think its true about the sensitivity thing and not being cut will give you more sensitivity but if he has not been 'stretched' etc, maybe it would because it removes that extra skin??? Gawd, a bit out of my depth here!
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:29am |
im sorry i still dont get it:( how does it remove the extra skin? the extra skin covers the part that gets de sensitized ? I've been in childcare for 6 years and all of my friends have at least one boy and we are having a boy and nothing about its ever been mentioned to me:(?
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CuriousG
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:32am |
It removes a tiny bit of skin at the top of the head. Its not very common these days and only really done for either religious (jewish) reasons or if there are problems.
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:34am |
so stretching removes some of the skin?
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my2angels
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:35am |
I was always told that if they were circumsised there is less sensitivity but if they are uncircumsised then the actual head/tip is super sensitive, to the point where it can be painful which is why you are very careful about pulling the skin back. But Ive never heard of or come across the stretching idea and in fact remember being told not to do that with Kobe as i think i mentioned
Kawww I think the stretching is referring to when sometimes the skin is really tight and doesnt actually pull back from the head rather than removing skin which is a totally different thing
Edited by my2angels
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The_Stuarts
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:37am |
I don't really know much about it either but should prob find out because DH has told me like father like son which means, unless I can come up with some pretty strong reasons not to, our boy (if we have one) will be cut.
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:37am |
im just curious as i wouldnt do it anyway( i dont wanna mess with nature) but i just wondered why it is recommended ? i just wouldnt think it would actually do anything thats all? but then i dont have a penis so i dont really know:)!!!
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:39am |
as far as like father like son..we had the same dicsussion...my DH is cut...but our boy will not be(I'm not going to get into it..its totally a personal thing) but it costs a lot of money...and there are no medical reaosns for it(I showed him the research) and the only reason he wanted it was to make our son look like him..so in the end we decided not too.. :) but as i said its totally a personal thing.. !
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The_Stuarts
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:39am |
I believe it's only recommended if there is an infection under the foreskin. I know that there was only 1 doctor in Wellington when we were pregnant (2006) that actually performs circumcision.
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my2angels
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:40am |
Some guys can have major problems if the skin is to tight and they can have reoccuring infections etc... (my friends hubby had this and was circumcised in his teens)
Its pretty uncommon these days, in fact unless its for religous or medical reasons they wont do it in chch. I think there may be one place that you have to pay heaps for but even then it has to be for a good reason.
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The_Stuarts
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:41am |
Thanks Kawwww, I see no reason for the cut either and since my DH felt like 'decking' the nurse the first time he was present at Michaela's jabs I don't know how he could sit through having that done (oh, no wait, I know - he'll make me sit through it instead). I can probably get through to him if I point out the expense.
This is all hypothetical - we're not even trying for another baby yet.
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:46am |
yeah its a hard situation..i mean i dont have a penis so he was like..well how would you know..but we talked calmly at it (even though i have very strong views on it) and he came to the decision too.. he didnt realise that as my2angels said) its very hard to have it done here and expensive and medically not necessary unless as you say there is a problem.. i think hes a little gutted that he wont look like his boy but he's getting over it:)
anyway i better ge off here and go do the stuf fI'm supposed to be doing:) ! have a nice day everyone!
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FionaS
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Posted: 16 January 2008 at 9:59am |
It's generally only done for religious (Jewish) reasons now and I don't think it is widely recommended as such. And yes, from what I have heard circumcision reduces sensitivity in the long run.
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