Bizarre things people say

I was having coffee with a friend of mine this morning and because she was someone who I trusted and had been supportive in the past I told her about my 5-week miscarriage that happened a couple of days ago in the weekend.

She said "oh well things could be worse" and started to tell me about a friend of hers who was dying of ovarian cancer because she thought this would make me feel better.

Yes also very anoying is the " It happened for a reason" and my all time favourite " Its natures way"...... hmmmm

I hate "it happens for a reason" I got told that by all of my friends when I had my MC. Yes I did know that but you didn't need to rub it in.

My friend was really trying hard to say the right thing and she noticed that it wasn't being well received and apologised. I know she meant well, but it felt awful.

I was always taught that if you dont know what to say - then its better to say nothing. Except that backfires in these situations because it can come across as being indifferent / cold / unsupportive! Its always hard to know what to say to a friend who is hurting, especially after something as sad as a m/c.

Sometimes a hug is better than words anyway.....

I hated the "It happens to lots of women" comments! At that stage I DIDN'T CARE if it happened to someone else because it was ME that was going through it - does that make sense?? (I care now about others going through it of course but in the moment...)

OMG yes Kawwww I had one friend say that to me "well at least you know you can get pregnant". Not the best time to say it.

yeah i agree kazzle..i also get how people dont know what to say but really!!!!! as for the supermarket incident i can totally understand..

Kaz that is what I say to people that have close family members die. I have never been through it so I straight say to them I'm sorry but I don't know what you are going through but hugs.

OMG Pearls the dr said that to me.

Yeah I got all those comments aswell, they really pissed me off as I just didnt want to hear even if I knew some of them were true. Its like...when you have had a m/c you KNOW something was wrong, and you KNOW you m/c for a reason, but you dont need or want to hear it! My boss didnt seem overly sympathetic when I m/c last year, she started going on about how she knows its hard as some of her friend have m/c, but then I felt like saying , No you dont know what its like, you have two healthy children and you have never lost a baby so you dont know what its like or how hard it is until you have lost one yourself. Also my other boss said to me(a month after thw m/c while they were having a meeting wih me to tell me I wasnt doing a good enough job!!!!) that he believes "Everything happens for a reason" and I wanted to punch him. I left that job not long after that.

I think that sometimes people just dont know what to say, and thats fine, a hug and no words can help SOOO much more than saying "It wasnt meant to be" or 'Everything happens for a reason".

My DF and I think now, that maybe the wee baby we lost was meant to be cadens little guradian angel, and that helps us when we feel a bit sad about losing the baby, we know that he/she is watching over this little baby in my tummy.

Edited by Sheza