Parents and your Pregnancy

I wasnt sure what to make the topic of what I want to ask...
But, how are your parents when it comes to your pregnancy? Are they both super excited or are they so so, or is your mum excited and your dad doesnt really care?
The reason I ask is that my parents just dont seem very interested in my pregnancy, they NEVER ask how I am or how Im feeling etc(even though I live in a flat on the side of their house with my DF) they havent overed to help with anything and they havent got us anything. I asked my mum about this and she said she has mentioned it to dad he said "Have to have money for that".
I thought my mum would be more interested as im her only daughter and this is the first grandchild(Im the oldest)
I dont know whether they think me and DF rushed into this as we have only been together a year, or whether they think they are too young to be grandparents(Dad is 50 and mum is 47) I just dont know....maybe Im just being silly!

Then tonight Caden was kicking round and I had my top up a lilttle so i could see and dad said "Put your top down, i dont want to see that" he really hurt my feelings why would u say that to your own daughter! I only had the bottom of my top up, like to my belly button

Has anyone else had these probs with their parents? Its really upsetting me, but no matter what i say to them they just dont get how i feel and think im being "silly".

I know that they will totally love Caden when he is born, but a little interest and stuff now wouldnt hurt!

Edited by Sheza

Yeah, I know they will be fine when he is here, but especially my mum, i wish she would just...ask me how im feeling and stuff, its always me who says "Oh im feeling..." or whatever, and she never seems very interested.
My nana has been more of a mother to me so far during this pregnancy, nana goes out with me and buys things for baby etc. Mum wont even go out with me on a Saturday or Sunday, cos she is "Busy" or "Tired" or its "I have things to do" which is usally go out with her friend Claire, who I feel she cares more about than me, but again if i say this to her, she will say im being "silly"

Edited by Sheza

Just mainly its what my dad said to me, made me feel like I was gross or something.
My nana said that he was always funny about my mums pregnant tummy aswell, so maybe its just him....

Everything upsets me these days lol, plus I feel awful at the moment, dunno whats wrong I just feel totally exausted

Edited by Sheza

When we told them all that I was pregnant my dad was the only one that was totally happy for us. My mum was as well but not as much as my dad.

DH's parents were not happy as DH was the youngest and we weren't married (strange as they aren't that traditional) and we were still young ourselves (both 21). But they got over it once Andrew was here.

I don't blame you being upset at what your dad said, I would be too.

Grandparents seem to be either too involved or too little involved. Our parents were fairly excited about our pg's and generally asked how I was etc, however when it comes to buying stuff for our girls, it just doesn't - and won't ever - happen. We get hand-me-downs of way-old clothing from my mum (some of which is not even good enough for a clothing bin so I chuck it!!!) and birthday pressies from both sets of parents and that's it. They don't seem all that interested in spending time with their grandkids or in their development either.

I think my dad does worry about me, like money wise and stuff. Ive never been very good with money and after i split with my ex i was very messed up for a while, but this was about 4 years ago and now Im finally happy and settled, money is tight but we are getting there.

Im not asking them to be really involved and shower us with gifts, all I really want is for them to at least talk to me about the baby and stuff, more my mum than dad....i cant see my dad having a chat to me about the highs and lows of pregnancy LOL, but it would be nice if he would ask me if we have everything sorted etc..ya know?

I think its just finally really got to me, and especially after dad saying what he did tonight, it was mean and un called for. I just walk out of the room cos i felt embaressed.

Yeah that was so uncalled for. I think your Dad needs to be told. Good that u just walked away and didnt lash out at him like I would of. But he shouldnt get away with it at all. Thats no way to speak to anyone,..and like u said they arent nasty people,...would he have said that if a work collegeue had been showing another a tiny bit of her baby bump or something?
I have major issues with my Dad, so cant really dish out advice,..but its not healthy for you (or bubs), for u to be worried about all this. I really think you should ask them how they are feeling about it all, and get it out in the open. There are lots of ways that they could be showing u support without spending $$ either, maybe they are worried that they cant provide what they feel they 'should' be as grandparents.

big hugs Sheza... my parents were over the moon..but that is a little irritating as well:) but i understand how that comment hurt..i didnt give my parents an option of seeing my tummy...i made them and DAd would always want to touch him and he would never kick Dad and i felt like i failed:(

anyway pregnancy makes you emotional but even normally that comment would be mean and uncalled for..

My Dad told me he didn't like the name we picked and i really got mad and upset with him and I never normally do..
My Dh was like your parents though.. didnt want to feel him kick wasnt interested ..it wasnt till the end and the birth and now with him here he couldnt be better(well he could get up more ) but when hes up he's great..and it really upset me too:( so i know how you feel! DH was like"I'll be different when bubs i here and i was like so why cant you be now..i need support now!

LOL my parents were less than over the moon when I got preg with Maya, when I told my mum (via phone as she is in Oz) she said "I can't talk to you right now, I need time to process this, I'll call you in a few days" and as for my dad, well I was too scared to tell him till I was 19 weeks and the night after I did he took my brothers to the pub and ranted and raved about how I had ruined my life and Willie was a loser etc. etc. Nice huh?!

But as soon as he saw her, Dad was besotted with Maya, she is absolutely the apple of his eye, he always tells her she is his favourite, altho he's gonna have to sto that or the gremlins will get cross lol!

I know it's tough at the time, it sucks, and I often think just once it would be nice to say "I'm pregnant" and have them say "congratulations" coz even with the gremlins who were very planned I still got lectures and disappointment. But hey, such is life, and at the end of the day they love my kids to bits and I guess that's all that matters.

Oh and that I will be much less judgemental if/when my girls get pregnant!

Bobbie that totally sounds like something my mum would say! Like when i walk into the room and her and dad have friends over she will say "Here comes buddah" or "Fatty" or something, it doesnt really bother me, but sometimes it does.

Im on iron tablets But Im feeling very very tired, especially the last two days I have felt like ive been hit by a bus, I was trying to tell mum this tonight but as usual she may as well have ignored me, she didnt give a flying fig, i said "MUM!" and she was like "yeah"(not answering me cos I said mum, that was her answer to me saying Im feeling tired and sick again) and then she turned to dad and started talking about herself thats when caden started kicking and i could see a foot or something so thats why I had my top up, and dad told me he 'Didnt wnat to see that and to put my top down"

Im sorry ladies, im just tired and p!ssed off and blahh my legs ache and yep lol *deep breath*

Edited by Sheza