Bad Mother

Zac had his 4 month vaccinations today and the Dr was a little worried about his weight. He asked me how long he slept for and I told him that he generally sleeps at night from 9 - 7, 8 or 9 and he was horrified that I didn't get up to give him a feed...I didn't know they are not supposed to sleep longer than 8 hours without a feed at this age as last time I saw him he told me to do demand feeding. I feel terrible! Zac does not look skinny - he has rolls of cute baby fat and chubby little cheeks. He weighs 5.3 kg (birth weight 2.84kg) but I just feel so bad. I wish they had plunket over here as we only go to the Dr every two months for check ups. Does anyone know if I can see Plunket when we're home for the month of April to have him weighed??

He then said to start him on baby cereal - I think it's too early but I suppose the Dr knows best. What age has everyone else started their babies on solids?

And then I got told by a lady that I shouldn't be wrapping Zac to sleep - I've been doing this since he was born so looked wrapping up in a book and it said it shouldn't be done after 1 month as it hinders their development...another thing I didn't know!!!

Not a good week for this new mum!

Edited by Kim

You are not a bad mum!! I am no medical professional but I say bollocks to the above advice and say go with your instincts.

Wrapping is fine, lotsa babies are wrapped til much later than you wee one. Quinn was wrapped for a long time, I can't remember when it stopped but I doubt it hinders development!

Solids, also dependant on where you get your info from but most sources say between four and six months. I aimed more towards the six months rather than the four months mainly because I was lazy but also 'cause there are some links with allergies that I wanted to avoid. (note to anyone who started earlier than me: NOT a dig, just personal preference)

And re sleeping at night, I would be inclined to say he would wake up if he were hungry or wanted something. Check in your well child book, there is a graph to plot babies weight gain in it. Check his weight in their compared to others and then if you want seek a second opinion, go to another doctor or check with your plunket nurse.

There is so much variance between doctors and their opinions, and some are more forceful than others. I found it best for me to find a doctor whose 'style' I could relate to, making it easier for me to check with her if I had a query.

Don't feel like a bad mum, most of this parenting business is guesswork from the beginning and learning from your experiences. Your bub is loved and well cared for, that makes a huge difference!

Yup Im going with the bollocks thing too!. Laur started sleeping through around 4-4.5 months.. and many many babies of friends started sleeping through for more than 8 hours beforehand.
We occasionally wrap Laura now at 7.5 months - and we werent into wrapping except with her reflux (she likes her hands free).. seriously dont stress it.. Your mummydar (like radar) should be your guide.. If your son is happy and healthy then its all good! ((Hugs))

I'm with everyone else here: trust your gut, you're the mum! A bad mum wouldn't have such a happy, contented little boy!

BTW: from Josiah's Well Child (plunket) book: 50% of 4 month old boys fall between 4.2kg and 5.4kg.

Kim, Zac and Xanda are exactly the same age, I wrap Xanda every time I put him to bed otherwise he won't sleep well. He now sleeps 12hrs a night, from 7-7, and my plunet nurse is pleased with his growth and development, she thinks it is excellent that he sleeps right through the night and told me when I first asked if i should be worried because he was still so young, that if he was hungry or needed changing through the night that he would wake up and let me know. I think trust your own instict as he is your child and you know what is working well for you and him. And as long as he is gaining weight and looks healthy I think it is fine for you to continue the way you are doing things. YOU ARE NOT A BAD MUM!!! So don't even think that, you have brought a beautiful little boy into the world and I bet he thinks you are the best mum in the whole wide world.

It's so interesting though, what cultures think of is "bnormal" with babies. I know that we in NZ get told not to sleep with babies, however in Japan, it's the norm. Concerning solids - start at six months with baby rice, Japan was three months with fish!! Goes to show that just because someone says "this is THE way to do things", there are many other ways - and we should trust our instincts and read our baby!

As a general rule, babies are supposed to double their birthweight in the first 6 mths - so your little man is well on track Kim! I wouldn't worry about what the doc says!

Maya slept thru 8-10 hours a night from 7 weeks, and my Plunket nurse told me how wonderful that was.

Oh my goodness... You are so not a bad mum!!!

Geez, if your baby is wanting to sleep, let him! If he is hungry he will let you know!
This is obviously just his pattern and don't be concerned. He seems very content to me. He will end up being overfed if you started to wake him and it would ruin his routine... Your the mum, do what you think is best hun.

As for the wrapping thing. I don't agree. I wrapped Maddisyn ALL the time when she went to bed. She slept much better and settled alot easier, she loved it. And she is FINE.

And solids at 4 months? I suppose it is okay, but like I said, you will know when the right time is. Don't let someone push you into it. Even if it is the doc.

Go see Plunket if you can. They might help you alot better.

Why do Dr's make new mums worry so much?

Thanks for all your replies - I feel so much better. Zac went to bed at 9 last night and I got up at 2 to give him a feed. I didn't wake him up and he feed for about 15 minutes and that was it. I think instead of getting him up in the night I will do more feeds during the day.

It's funny though as I email photo's home every week and this last week I got so many replies saying how big Zac is and how contented he looks and everyone was wanting to know his weight now!

Hi Fairsk8 - I've emailed Plunket so thanks for that. I'm not sure how to post a picture - I know there is a post some where so will have a look for it.