A Nice Way..

I'd say that if her partner has a temper on him, to chat to Women's Refuge about the best way to go about it - she wouldn't have to necessarily shift in there, but they'll have some good ideas to share about how to do it all. 

A text is maybe a bad idea for it, but if she's scared I can see why she might consider it.  A public place could get embarrassing - I've done it in a cafe before but that was a boyfriend, not a partner, and we'd only been together around 3 months.  I didn't mean to do it there, but he could tell I was uncomfortable with his talk about our future together, and being a terrible liar, it all came out there, which was a shame really.  But a partner of 3 years, father of her child?  That's a much bigger deal, so she might want to give some thought to where and when.  Possibly with a friend or family member present (or in the same house at least) if she's worried how he might react.  Sounds like she's made her mind up, and after 3 years of trying to make it work with no help from him it sounds like she's got good reason to move on - is he likely to try to talk her out of it?  If he is, there's always the 'dear john' letter - shift out when he's not there and leave a note explaining why, or ring from wherever it is she's shifted to.  Sometimes us mummies just know in our hearts what's the right thing to do, so if she goes with her gut instinct, she'll figure out how to go about it.  Hugs to her, and let us know how she gets on!  Sure, I know lots of people who say it's always a shame when a relationship between parents ends, but sometimes it's for the best and I also know lots of people who found it hard at first, but didn't look back after leaving and 'found themselves' again.  Someone I trust told me that being a single mum was hard, but easier than parenting with her bum-hole husband on the scene! 

That's a little tricky if he lives at her mum's, 'cause I guess she'll want him to shift out rather than her and the baby moving.  So maybe a good talk (with her mum home and warned to keep an ear out just in case) and a date by when she wants him out would be the way?  If she's worried that her resolve to end it with him might be weakened by him trying to talk her out of it, maybe she could write down for herself all the reasons why she's made this decision, and just keep it to read in private if she feels her decision waning?  At the end of the day, it's HER decision if she wants to stay or end the relationship, and while he also has the same right and power to end it should he want to, he doesn't have the right and power to make her stay if that's really not what she wants.  She's got to do what's right for her and her child. 

And hey if she doesn't currently love him, and isn't currently happy, then why should she feel guilty about that?  The love of a partner is earned at some point, and it's hard to be happy with someone who doesn't treat you well.