*sigh, so tired*

I am so tired. tired form not having a full nights sleep since i got pregnant.:( so that's why this might not seem important to you guys but is to me:(


as you know Ethan needs Dummy replaced several times a night..now i know this is partly due to his developmental stage(waking more) and his allergy issues as she said that would mean his rhythm was disrupted.. that's fine..went to family centre yesterday and they were fab...bit scary how forcefully they rocked him but he was fine went to sleep there..with the shhhhhhhing and side technique.. and did it when we got home..when i tried last night it wouldnt work and she said to not do it for more than 20 mins

she said to start with daytime sleeps.. but last night he slept 630-10 then 1030 -1 (4 dummy replacements) then sleep till 445 then up to feed an back to sleep at 530.. so even if i have the energy to do the day time (rock him takes 20 mins and then half hour sleeps she said for a few days and up to a month before full self settle..yesterday i had all the resolve in the world but today i just cant do it..i really want to ..i want him to have his dummy but not need it replaced at night (like everyone elses babies) or not have the dummy whichever but the cot death thing makes me want him to have it...

i realise he will get an attachment to it properly soon though..so anyway ..any other ideas/ as i dont have the energy to rock him for 20 mins for 30 mins sleeps (will get three of those before tonight i f i do that.. everything is a mess and i need to sleep and do bottles etc:( so any other suggestions would be gratefully received.. or suggestions on how to do the shhhhing thing that doesnt take so freaking long:( i dont mind getting up to feed him or even if it was jus t replacement then sleep but it takes sometimes 30 mins or replacing to get him back to sleep:(

i would never sleep....too worried and DH a smoker:( (dont start me he promise he'd give up):(

When I'm in desperate need of sleep I kick DH out of the bed onto the couch and have Daniel in with me. He's far enough away that when hes splayed out like a starfish that I still have room and hes close enough that he sleeps great. You might not think you will sleep but it doesnt take long to get use to it. I was adament that I wouldn't sleep with Daniel in the same bed but I do.

Otherwise go back to the family centre. I spent 2 full days there and it just gave me a break. They even sent me home for a nap. Or if you have family or friends in the area see if one can come and watch ethan for a bit while you sleep for a couple of hours.

It does take time for something new to work. It's never instant and when you change things on them they cry cause they are confused. It takes a bit of patience and sticking with it until anything works.

oh yes i know that i dont expect instant..but 3 days of no daytime sleep as well?:( i just dont have the energy while I'm not getting night time sleep:( i just was at family centre yesterday there is no easy way round making this particular way of doing things happen though it is better than CIO as she said that way at every developmental stage you have to do it again...was just wondering if anyone else got rid of the dummy in a less stressful to both of us way(its the replacing it bit i hate not the actual dummy).. he couldnt sleep in our bed either as he moves way up.he cant get off his tummy by himself and he has safety sleep and wrap.. :( and it would freak me out.

Kerri- Anne, I feel a bit like you have two choices, either you can follow what they have showed you at the family centre and it will take a while or you can continue what you are doing at the moment.

I think that you just need to make a firm decision and that will give you the motivation to do it. I know that when I got home from the family centre my first attempt took 45 mins and I actually gave in, but they did warn me it was harder at home and also to take one sleep at a time, if it doesn't work for one it doesn't mean don't try it for the next one. You should find as well that once he is able to self settle he will sleep much longer than just 30mins during the day and then in turn his night sleeps will improve.

I use to sleep with Spencer snuggled into the crook of my arm that way he couldn't wriggle anywhere. Definitley made a difference for us but if you are that uncomfy doing it its probably not worth trying it.

It's harder when you've had little or no sleep. When I was having similar problems everthing was worse when I was running on empty. I was lucky that I knew that help was around the corner with a residental help place (similar to family centre, but we were there Mon - Friday including the nights). One thing that I was told was after they have learnt this 'new' sleep behaviour, they may start to test the boundaries.

We ended up using CIO (despite me initally saying that I never wanted to, and the time I tried at home to do it, ended up crying myself)   A couple of people suggested to me the following: to get someone else to put him down and look after him, and you go out - that way you can't hear the crying (I know it sounds mean and nasty) but the other person generally doesn't have such an emotional attatchment to your baby, and as the added bonus you get a little time out.    One really unsettled afternoon, DH took B out for a walk to let me sleep - ok I only got 30mins of sleep in a 2hour period, but I got some, and they got to have 'boytime'.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I know it's not easy.

thankyou monica...with due respect to others obviously if i had this problem and had had some sleep i would be thinking differently and my resolve form yesterday would probably be here:)i also thought (naively) that i wouldnt be up except to feed him now he's nearly 4 months..most other people aren't!!:)

she said with CC or CIO though you end up having to redo it at each developmental stage..have you found that? he really seemed to not like me shhhhhhhing so loud in his ear either.. mind you he didnt mind when she did it..maybe cause he was soooooooo overtired by the end of the day.

i suggested to Dh about taking him out..it was like it had never occured to him:) he said he will whenever i want so that's nice.. hard though as i like us having family time as we dont see DH too much in weekends when bowls is on:(!! (two days this weekend) but sleep more important atm:) I'm a useless day sleeper too!

Jezika....good point in regards to what will will not do.i said i would never use a dummy...lol:) i guess i also just was prepared for sleepless nights when he was little but not now....and again i state that getting up to feed him is fine.. i totally get he's just not a sleep through the night kinda guy (unlike his parents:) )

When you go into his room to do your shhhing technique thing. He's probably partly overtired but also picking up on your mood/vibe which is why he didn't mind when the plunket lady did it but does mind when you do it. I know its tough cause you are tired but he'll pick up on your frustration etc which makes it tougher for him to settle. It's one of those icky cycles.

We did CC quite alot. Put him down, wait 5 mins, go tell him hes doing good and to go night night. then wait 10 mins go in, then 15 and go in. (its in that dvd i gave u the linky to in another thread) and it worked great for us once we got into the swing of it. and we didn't have to repeat with each milestone either.

Foxxy_one - may be missing it completely here as am feeling slightly confused. so just to check.

Ethan is waking 3 -4 times a night and staying awake for 30 mins at a time with multiple dummy replacements?

We used CIO and I am not a hard assed person (as you put it) but with me tired and my patience slowly draining it was our only option esp after getting up on enight 10 times. It worked for us and we did have 4 or 5 nights of hell but it worked and he is now sleeping thru. I know its not for everyone but for where we were at it was our only option.

I think you just really need to pick a technique and stick to it.

MonicaMouse wrote: This is only our 2nd week home from the mothercraft unit, and I was lucky in the fact that Blair was already crawling/sitting/solidsing so can't comment on the new stage thing just yet. I was also lucky that in the unit he was in a different room from me, and at night I wasn't the one who had to rewrap at 2 or 5 in the morning if he had got his hands out, which a)gave me a bit of a sleep catch up and b)got him into the habit of not requiring a feed/comfort in the middle of the night. Now we're home I'm working what I can, and adapting it to suit us.

what is a Mothercraft unit?