delusional husband

Uhmmmm... you may hate me for this... but you might find he is right! Or atleast a little bit...

You'd be suprised how willing people are to lend/give away stuff! In fact... I'd give you half of my stuff if we lived close to each other!

You'll get given things, but I would say not EVERYthing. I didn't want to rely on gifts, and as you know I am a meticulous planner, so calculated what it was likely we could get from other people and what we would need to buy. Needless to say, that your tastes may not be like other peoples either, for example with clothes or toys. As an example, we were offered a cot by one of DH's cousins, but when it finally got to us there were bits missing and its condition was a bit rough, so we ended up buying one from a friend of my mums. People may not *outright* offer stuff either, until I started talking a little bit about the things I was planning to buy that a couple of offers came in - got my bassinette for free from my TL but I still count that as lucky, and was fully prepared to buy one.

Before I ramble too much more though, I'm not really sure that I can offer any advice on how to 'get through' to your hubby though - mine was pretty good about it and was happy to let me do the planning for what we'd need, and then run it by him. I think if anything, people will mostly buy you clothes and maybe blankets, or toys. Folks may have secondhand stuff but not want to give it away for free, the advantage of this though is that you can usually get it for a lot cheaper than in the stores.

Lastly, I guess the other reason I didn't want to rely too much on getting things given to us by other people is because again I'm fussy - I wanted to know that the things I saw as important are in good condition / quality, even if it means paying $$$.

My hubby and I have a deal where he is responsible for sourcing/buying all the big ticket items, and I'm responsible for all the little and numerous things like baby clothes,maternity clothes, modern cloth nappies,linen, toys.....

I wrote a list and gave him a copy. That way he knows what he has to try and get whether that is as gifts or from the shops or trademe. I've made a rule that the stuff has to be reasonable quality and have suggested some brands and styles.   


I spent an afternoon visiting baby shops and writing prices down in a notebook so he'd have an idea of a budget for his stuff.

Edited by Chaucey

u could try telling him that hed be the one rushing round buying the stuff cos ur to big to go far from home(or busy if bubs did arrive)and stress that it needs to get brought IMMEDIATLY????? (if he sees the price tags of the big items that may freak hm out enuf to listen to wot u r saying??)men sometimes huh lol.

Yeah, good luck Sarah Beth!! I think babies can bring out the best in people and I was suprised at someone I barely know offering me a beautiful bassinette of hers, though we've already got one coming from other friends. We've been offered a huge fire guard from friends too, and a new (yep - NEW!) stroller and cot blankets from family. I'd say it's worth getting the word out there that you're preparing for baby and seeing what people do send your way. I know it's a sensitive issue, but people might be more forthcoming when you're already pregnant, so don't despair if nothing turns up beforehand.

My husband thinks babies are pretty cheap to set up for as well. I keep telling him that the first-born costs the most - after them you're all set up for the next one! Try showing him the price tags on cots, strollers, nappies and high-chairs for a start - they're shockers!! It was the family-friendly car thing that got through to my husband. I mean, we were talking cars! How could that not?!?

I had a similar yet different problem. My hubby's family believe that it is bad luck to buy before the baby is here...so I wasnt allowed to buy stuff and his side of family bought nothing at all. However my mum and dad bought me a cot/mattress cloths...etc. When I had a baby shower I got loads of practical stuff from my friends like, wipes, packs of nappies, powder, lotion, baby bath etc etc as well as cloths. However I went and bought linen and stuff for bub's cot..and could'nt care less if he did not like it...my point was when we bring bub home where do you suggest I put her?

Blah blah blah.....I have to say once bub was born my MIL bought a pram the next day, BIL bought a changing table next day not to mention the thousands of cloths I got. as well as toys and other bits and pieces.

Ok my point is that you will get small items and may be close family will give you a few big things...but you will still end up buying all the expensive stuff yourself and you dont really want to run around and but them after bub is born, as you need this time to bond with bub. Tell that to your hubby and show him some prices. just say lets lay buy or atleast save up for these BIG items......Sorry to go on and on...hope I made sense!

I wasn't "allowed" to buy anything before I was really far along as Peter (old Polish weird superstition man) said it would be "bad luck"....