frustrated boy

jake talks - a lot. when he is happy he yabbers on about everyhing and anything - and generally drives me nuts.

However, he has always been an active kid - not so good verbaly. He looks like he is 4 or 5, but doesn't talk nearly as well.

Anyway, at daycare he has been hitting and kicking. His teacher and I sat down and meshed it out. we both think he is getting frustrated with not being able to communicate and that when he gets angry, he breaks down and lashes out - perfectly natural she says. Also when he gets upset, he literally curls up in a ball and ignores the world - or the teacher telling him he needs to apologise. at home, he yells "go away" and when i called his bluff and left, he freaked out, so obviously he doesn't actually mean it.

So, now the question, the main problem in all this is him getting frustrated and not communictaing. How do I encourage him and get him to "use his words" more? (I have actually read something about "using your words" being detrimental to boys esteem because of their lack of verbiousity, but I figure, he is lacking a skill, surely i should help him with it). as i said, when happy, he talks...incessantly and pretty well (although diction is not our friend)

eta jake is 3years 8 months. forgot i didn't have a tciker, and that not everyone has his age carved into their brain...except perhaps Nikkiwhyte, and thats only cause Hannah's is 6 days later)

Edited by lizzle

Well I know how old he is too

But Andrew at that age was about the same, looks bigger than how old he actually is - still does now. But we sat Andrew down and told him that we know he gets angry but instead of hurting people or things say what he is feeling, or draw it.

ETA: so he now says I am angry, when he is angry.

Edited by mummy_becks

Last year I got to chat with an 'expert' on dealing with preschool kids and their emotions, I can't remember what qualified her as an expert but she made sense, hehe!
She suggested that when Ella got really frustrated and shut down like that, that we sit down with her and give her words to describe how she's feeling eg "It seems like you're feeling really sad right now Ella, what do you think would help make it better?"
Or when she's hitting etc "I can see that you're feeling really angry Ella, what can I do to help you calm down?"
I've found it works quite well, getting her to think about how she's feeling and giving her the attention she wants in a more productive way.
She also suggested what Becks did, sitting down with her and drawing angry pictures and then suggesting we try to draw different feelings, what they might look like and why, to explore the feelings and give them tools for describe them "When I feel angry I like to use red and draw really angry scribbly pictures..."
Good luck Liz!

There are some books out there, I think one is called I don't like that, that is about anger.

Hrmmmm... helpful suggestions from others.

I don't really have anything to add as I have no idea how Hannah has been behaving at creche lately! (Must ask for an update) But I do know that I have had to encourage her to find something quiet to do if she isn't feeling particularly sociable and try and get her to explain nicely to other children that she would rather be alone. The good thing is that they don't seem to take offence... for long anyway.

Good luck!!
xo