Alzheimers Awareness Week

Thought I would start a new thread to acknowledge the fact that it is Alzheimer's Awareness Week here in NZ!

It's a topic that is quite close to home for me, my Grandfather is fighting a losing battle with Dementia and isn't far off being taken into care! It is incredibly hard witnessing someone so close to you whom you love dearly; slowly withering away and losing themselves to this disease, the uncontrollable bouts of anger, the frustration ...the fact that there isn't really anything you can do to help other than to support them and try to be as understanding as possible. It doesn't help that Pop is also partially deaf, so that on top of him not being able to comprehend what people are saying to him most of the time(due to the dementia) it makes it very hard to converse with him like you would a normal person.

So is there anyone else on here who has had someone close to them suffer from Alzheimers/Dementia, anyone willing to share their story?

I find it hard to comprehend the fact that Pop isn't going to just snap out of this, with time he's just going to decline & there isn't anything we can really do to stop or prolong it. It also doesn't help that him & Nan are separating. She just can't handle it anymore, for a long time I was angry at her for running - but after seeing my Pop get frustrated/angry and yelling/swearing when we were up there last, I've realised that she isn't overexagerating the situation and it has gotten to the point where he is being abusive and the disease is just taking over. She is scared and to be quite frank I can see why she wants out - she isn't exactly a picture of health herself (heart & high blood pressure problems).

I'd really appreciate anyone who would be able to share their experiences and offer some form of support.

TIA

my grandma was my best friend , more like a soul mate actually, she was always the one i went to when anything good or bad happened, we just understood each other, like you do sometimes , when i was 20 (the year i was pg with C) she was diagnosed with dementia, and moved into a rest home , i was devastated, i always imagined she would be very involved in my childrens lives, like she had been in mine, she passed away in March last year, and i still miss her terribly, but it wasnt since her death that i missed her, it was six years ago, when the grandma i knew and loved so well , was replaced by a woman who had no idea who I was, the girl she loved most in the world .
Just before she passed away , i went to see her in hospital, and was given a few minutes alone with her,...those few minutes are some of the most precious of my life, i said to her
"do you know who i am ?"
and she looked at me with such love and said "of course, your my kelly , my darling girl, i've always loved you so "
then i said " we've had some good times together huh Grandma ?"
and she recited some of our special memories, then she gave me a hug, and started singing very softly, the song "rainbow connection " just like she did when i was a girl , the same song i sing to C every night , and she said to me "dont try and hold on to the past honey , moving into the future can sometimes hurt, but it hurts more to remain in the past "
and finally , i told her , tearfully , not to worry about us, that we would be ok , and that my grandfather was waiting for her .
She passed away two days later, i miss her every day , but im so grateful everyday that i got 20 good years, and those few precious minutes, made up for every hour over the past 6 years that i lost.

My Grandmother (Mum's Mum) had Alzheimers and died when I was in my teens I think. We hardly ever saw her as she and Grandy lived in the SI. Mum went to visit her a few times and then couldn't cope with it so didn't really go back, or when she did her sisters would visit Grandma in the rest home but Mum stayed away.

My other Grandmother (Dad's Mum) has been deteriorating for a while now. She used to live with my parents but got into some big fights with my Dad, accusing him of stealing her money etc, but it got worse when Mum and Dad bought a new house so Grandma was with them all the time rather than self contained. Grandma went down to stay with my aunt probably about 2yrs ago and hasn't come back. She started getting violent and my aunt and her family had trouble coping. She got put into a home for assesment and they found out she had syphilis (thanks Grandad ) which could be the cause of her dementia although there is a family history as well. She is no longer violent but has moments when she doesn't remember very well or repeats herself alot. I went down to see her a few months ago and it was so hard to see her so frail. My brother didn't cope very well and refuses to go back and see her just yet, my other brother hasn't seen her yet. I should go and see her (she's in Hamilton) but it is so hard to go. I know I need to make the effort but I haven't been able to do it again just yet. She was always so spritely and happy and always remembered everything.

My Grandma has alzheimers.
She's had it for a very long time and is now in lock-down care.
She was on a trial for some medication that significantly slows down the progression of the disease but after my Grandpa died she went downhill very fast.
She doesn't really remember me now which breaks my heart but she is still the kindest, funniest, most gentle woman I know, after my mother (who I'm sure learned it all from her mum .
I love her to bits and I wish she could know and remember her great grandchildren.
Alzheimers is such a cruel disease. I really fear it happening to me or anyone else close to me.

I used to have a hard time visiting my Grandma in the home, i was going to see a woman who looked like my grandma that i knew and loved, but who WASNT my grandma.
Altho the time i went with my dad and she thought i was my dads gf was pretty amusing (wayyy out of my dads league haha, and i mean that in a totally unsick way )
I thought she would be so upset with what was happening to her , but over time i realised, she WAS happy , she was just happy in a different time, where she was, her husband she adored was still around, her babies were still young, SHE was young and still had energy ,her beauty, all her friends living.
I realised then that all the memories we had together, it was my duty to keep , she had given me so much love the last twenty years, the least i could do was hold them in my heart for us both .

I remember when i was six
and told you it was my dolls birthday
You made cupcakes for her and we had a party
Because you loved me

I remember how you would cut my toast into fingers
the way i liked it ,even tho i was old enough to do it myself
Because you loved me

I remember you teaching me the wizard of oz skip
down to the beach
tho im sure it was embarrassing
Because you loved me

I remember no matter how big or small my problems
you would listen ,and care
because you loved me

I remember every thing you ever said to me
everything we laughed about together
I remember ever moment we shared
I remember them , because you can't
I remember them , and always will
Because I love you

...that was a poem i wrote for her (and me ) when her alzheimers was at its worse, and id gone with my dad to see her , and she had asked where his mum (which was her ) was ...that day i said goodbye to the gran i loved and locked her away in my heart, where she remains, returning for that brief time just before she died

Kelly you truly are an amazing woman! You too have managed to make me cry twice

Beautifully written

Thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences, it means a lot.

No it is lovely hun.
Even though they weren't written for her, you have captured everything i feel about my grandma.
You have an awesome talent with words and I really admire that. The power to move people to tears is a testament to your skills, I think.
You manage to avoid being overly sentimental and cheesy while still capturing the true emotion of what you're writing.
If you don't mind, I might copy the second poem and give it to my mum? I think it will really touch her too.

Thanks Kelly, I appreciate it!