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gracebaby
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Topic: Scared mummy to be... Posted: 14 August 2008 at 10:47am |
After 5 and a half years of disappointments and heartache, It is with great delight that I can say that I am now in my 6th week of pregnancy. After a long road of IVF - we have a successful pregnancy.....and yet I am absolutely petrified! Not of being a mummy, as this has been my hearts desire for so long, but of this precious life growing inside me being able to get to the 'crucial 12 week period'. Inevitably we've had to (and couldn't wait to )tell people when we got the positive result from the clinic - but our news has been met with "oh take care now, till you get out of the crucial stage". Even my GP, when I went to see him yesterday and was diagnosed with bronchitis, told me he'll keep his fingers crossed for me over the next few weeks. I can't help but feel so anxious over every cramp, every cough, every dizzy feeling I have now. I truely believe, this miracle is a blessing from GOD, and in GOD' will and timing, I'm just so incredibly scared that something is going to go wrong.....waiting to get through the crucial stage!
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lilfatty
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 10:53am |
Bless gracebaby ... I felt the same way and I didnt go through rounds of IVF (I was one of the lucky ones who fell pregnant the second after deciding we wanted a bub).
And ... I soo wanted to tell the world but managed to hold out until week 12 (although we did tell our parents straight away).
I know its hard ... but try not to worry ... and you are COMPLETELY normal ... we all felt exactly the same way
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Mum_mum
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 11:04am |
Hey Gracebaby, CONGRATULATIONS!
I think everyone who has gone through a hard road of TTC is nervous about every little niggle. I know i will be s**t scared when i get a BFP again!
Hang in there, think positive and imagine your little one in your arms or hugging that big full pregy belly in 6 months time!!!!
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ginger
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 11:08am |
Ah, I hate to tell you, but I think it is the curse of the IVF survivor to feel this way, and passing the 12 week mark doesn't make you feel any better. I think I will be like a cat on a hot tin roof until he/she is born. The little troll had 3 good bleeds in those first 12 weeks, and the pain! I think with your body settling down from IVF, there is a LOT more pain than a 'normal' pregnancy would have.
The thing I kept telling myself was that it is far worse for the baby for me to work myself up, than any perceived source for anxiety. I know it is hard, I know very, very well, but do try to take things one day at a time, get lots of rest, try not to worry (do something to calm you and help you bond with baby - read it stories. I read No.9 a story every night before bed, and at times if I feel I'm getting a bit over-anxious) too much, and just take the precautions the clinic has told you to take. Only 2 weeks thereabouts until your first scan, and once you have seen the heartbeat on that scan, your chances of anything going wrong come right down to below 5%. And don't forget - because of pre-implantation testing, embryos who may not have been strong, or may have been defective and therefore likely to miscarry have been eliminated from the equation, so the one you are carrying is strong and likely healthy.
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 11:15am |
Congratulation Gracebaby. That's fantastic news and the anxiety is totally normal.
I was very sick with the flu at 5 weeks preg and everytime I coughed I'd touch my belly and say a wee prayer that the coughing fit didn't dislodge my wee baby.
I had to tell people early too (at about 8 weeks) because I'm very petite. One friend guessed and some of my colleagues were asking my friends if I was pregnant. One of my friends told me not to get too excited because it was still early days.
I was so worried about getting to the second trimester. I spoke to my mum about it and she pointed out to me that there are billions of people in the world and every single one of them have survived the "crucial 12 week period" and been born. Even in developing countries where the water can be deadly and the food scarce children are still born.
As lilfatty said try not to worry excessively and remember that you are completely normal.
You start worrying about your child the day you find out you've concieved and the worries never cease. That's part of what makes us good mummies.
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Roksana
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 11:19am |
Hi Gracebaby welcome to Ohbaby and CONGRATULATIONS!
Its normal to feel the way you feel....as I felt the same way with both my pregnancy! I had bad bleeding with first and little with this one and like you I freaked out with every cramp, every niggle!! But I have a beautiful nearly 3 year old daughter and another one one the way that is happily kicking me away!! I never had a MC and never been thru IVF but Ginger is probably the best person to reassure you!!
Just relax and enjoy all the stuff that comes with being pregnant...no its going to be easy but always have positive thought and I will hope and pray that you have a beautiful bubba in 34 weeks!
Take care!
Edited by Roksana
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gracebaby
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 11:31am |
Thankyou so much for your replies....It puts me at ease to know that other 'mummy's to be's' had these same feelings. I guess it's just taken so long for us to get here, and now that we're at this point of the journey I just want everything to go right - and actually "enjoy" this privilegde unreservedly without worry. (As you know ginger I'm sure) when the clinic calls each day to give me the results of that days blood tests (as I'm still having them every couple days), somedays it's good, others my levels are low. I will need to continue taking progesterone until about week 12 - so I'm sure once I know my body has taken over properly I'll be more at ease. Thankyou all for your encouraging words. I'm so glad I've joined the forum......the infertility - pregnancy road can be a lonely time, with way too much time to think and worry!!!
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Gracebaby
Married 6 Years
5 years TTC
Started IVF in June 08
1 perfect embryo
Our little miracle due 9th April
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Roksana
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 11:35am |
just to add...This pregnancy I had really low results from bloods too...the nurses at my GP were concerned that I will MC but here I am at 23 weeks!!
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ginger
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 11:45am |
I was on it until about halfway through week 10 gracebaby - do be prepared to feel a bit anxious when you 'go it alone' after that for a bit too while your body adjusts.
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Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 12:03pm |
I haven't gone through IVF but have had a 12 week miscarriage and I felt like you did till after he was born(and he had an score of 3 at birth so worried then too) so it is normal to feel that way sometimes...esp after all you have been through.. and I would listen to Ginger she gives good advice and has been there with IVF too:) (17 weeks  )
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mummytobesep08
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 7:26pm |
hey gracebaby- understand how u feel about the vunerable life inside of you!!! It does get better though! After our miscarriage I refused to work til I was 12 weeks pregnant and never had a drop of caffine, had sex, or anything that would even remotely increase chances of msicarrying again. And yea well after 12 weeks I would still freak out. But at 24 weeks I felt a lil better, cuz that when bubs is considered 'viable'. Then at 34 weeks it was like a huge sigh of relief, cuz then, while theyre still counted as "premmies" they're almost guaranteed to live (as long as their only disadvantage is being a wee bit early).
My advice? Get a really reassuring midwife. It's gonna be a hard wee while and you'll really really benefit from someone sympathetic who will take extra time to help you feel more secure, whether it be a few extra visits and checkups on baby, or an extra ultrasound...whatever makes you feel more secure and happy that ur baby is safe.
Good luck!
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Ella1
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 7:47pm |
Congratulations Gracebaby! Wishing you lots of sticky vibes!
I haven't had IVF myself, but like many others I was quite anxious about mc. I figured if I can only make it to week 12, and see my baby on the scan, then it will be real and I can stop worrying.
I saw the scan, baby was perfect (as far as they could see) and I'm almost 14 weeks now. But I still don't dare to buy anything to do with the baby. I'm now waiting till the 20-week scan.
Guess as someone mentioned before, once you find out you're pregnant you start worrying and will never stop again.
Take good care of yourself and all the best! Hopefully you'll see your baby soon on a scan.
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MelanieAndBree
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Posted: 14 August 2008 at 10:27pm |
Awh Congrats Hun. Cant say i know how you feel, but i wish you luck for the rest of your pregnancy. Hope it all goes well
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Melanie.
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Natalie_G
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Posted: 15 August 2008 at 10:28am |
Congrats gracebaby.
I hope everything goes well through the rest of your pregnancy.
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emachan
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Posted: 16 August 2008 at 12:46pm |
Congratulations chicky! I'm sure that you'll be fine, but it is totally normal to worry, not just to 12 weeks but beyond as well. I got to 12 weeks and then made goals each week to make it through. I'm 33 weeks now and still worry about every niggle and think about all the bad things that could happen - but that's normal! You've got a new precious life growing inside you, and now nature will take care of it  Sending lots of sticky vibes and can't wait to hear about your baby in 9 months time!!!
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gracebaby
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Posted: 22 August 2008 at 9:49am |
Our first scan on Tuesday next week! cant wait to see my little bean and a heart beat!
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Gracebaby
Married 6 Years
5 years TTC
Started IVF in June 08
1 perfect embryo
Our little miracle due 9th April
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kmarie
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Posted: 22 August 2008 at 10:15am |
Yay - that'll be exciting! I haven't had to go through IVF but I did mc at the end of last year so was really anxious this time around. At 6wks along I ended up in hospital overnight because of intense pain and my dr arranged for me to have an early scan for my peace of mind. It was too early to see the heartbeat to I then had a follow up one at 8wks... You won't believe how incredibly reassuring it is to see your little one's heartbeat! It knocks the miscarriage rate back to something tiny like 3%. So this time around, after seeing bubby's heartbeat, if I got scared or worried I would just picture the scan and remember that this little one's heart was beating good and strong. And, well, here I am!
Enjoy seeing your little bean for the first time
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twins in heaven Oct07
Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart."
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