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arohanui View Drop Down
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    Posted: 31 October 2008 at 2:41pm
Yep, the last Friday in October (being today) is World Teachers' Day. So here's a little something especially for all those teachers out there..... you are wonderful


HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TEACHER?

1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.

2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.

3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's Ms/Mr. _________" and know you have been spotted.

4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mum/Dad at one time or another.

5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.

6. You've trained yourself to go to the toilet at two distinct times of the day: recess and lunch.

7. You start saving other people's rubbish because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.

8. You believe the teachers' staffroom should be equipped with a margarita machine.

9. You want to slap the next person who says it "Must be nice to work 9.00 to 3:30 and have summers off."

10. You believe chocolate is a food group.

11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are settled today."

13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behaviour when you are out in public.

14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.

15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!

18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a "good choice or a bad choice."

19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils

20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer

21. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.
Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and...
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arohanui View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote arohanui Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 2:45pm
Oh and here's another classic......

Next Season on Survivor

(Rewritten by G. Lovegrove)
Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in a primary school classroom for 6 weeks. Each business person will be provided with a copy of the school curriculum, and a class of 28 students.

Each class will have five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three will be labelled with severe behaviour problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organise, or create materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, conduct assessments, complete report forms, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent interviews. They must also supervise morning tea and lunchtime breaks and monitor the entrance foyer.

In addition, they will complete drills for fire, earthquakes, tornados, and shooting attacks. They must attend workshops, (100 hours), staff meetings, union meetings, and attend curriculum development meetings.

They must also tutor those students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient in English. If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, maths, science, technology and social studies into the programme. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment at all times.

The business people will only have access to the golf course on the weekends, but on their new salary they will not be able to afford it anyway. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch (raw vegetables and water) will be limited to 20 minutes. On days when they do not have playground duty, the business people will be permitted to use the staff toilets as long as another survival candidate is supervising their class.

They will be provided with two days per term of Classroom Release Time, during which time they must maintain all individual assessment checks, running records, numeracy tests and keep all health and attendance records up to date.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials at this time. The business people must continually advance their education on their own time and pay for this advanced training themselves. This can be accomplished by moonlighting at a second job or marrying someone with money.

The winner will be allowed to return to his or her job.

Pass this to any friends who think teaching is easy!
Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and...
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MrsMojo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsMojo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 2:59pm

Lucky I've never felt the urge to become a teacher, because you've just put me off

 

 HAPPY TEACHERS DAY

(to all of you who are mad enough to be teachers)

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james View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 4:09pm
yay in 3 years that will be me
<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>
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caitlynsmygirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caitlynsmygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 4:47pm
Good grief , that list just described my grandmother (she was a teacher for 30 years) and I guess once your a teacher, you are for life ....

HAPPY TEACHERS DAY !!!


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susieq View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote susieq Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 6:10pm
Happy teachers day and yes it did describe your grandmother very well
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lizzle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lizzle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 6:20pm
yah us! we had a shared lunch today! Funny tho as I read the message above i was thinking "who in their right mind would be a primary teacher????" (i do high schoool).

Hey and cool Lu! high school or primary?
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lovingmummyhood View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lovingmummyhood Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 7:02pm
Ha ha ha ha ha!! Liz that's awesome!! I just printed off the survivor one and put it in everyone's trays before I left

Yes, it was Friday afternoon and I was on OhBaby at work

Love it!! Happy teacher's day to all teachers
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katie1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote katie1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 7:47pm
That is so funny - I can relate to so many of that first list - esp the secret thrill out of laminating and the buying five things in the school supply aisle!
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emz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 7:51pm
Hehe laminating - I so have my own laminator at home just in case I get the urge! (and I'm not kidding lol)
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lizzle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lizzle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 8:54pm
i lurve our laminator!
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katie1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote katie1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2008 at 9:59pm
I have a laminator too. I missed having access to one at school once I stopped working - so geeky I know!!!! I love laminating pictures of things for Ollie and making fridge magnets etc for him!
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