tips needed please

hi i would like some tips please. Jake is a very unsettled baby we have tried everything we have been told to try. Which are feeding him to sleep, hottie in bed before he goes in it, letting him suck your finger, rocking him in and out of his bassinet. We just don't know what to do as he just wont go to sleep any ideas would be great thanks.

How old is he?
Sleep is a learned habit - unfortunately babies often don't come into the world knowing how to put themselves to sleep when they need to. Sometimes you can get into a cycle of sleep deprivation that leads to not being able to go to sleep, becoming more overtired etc.

Sometimes, you just need to let him cry his way to sleep. Make sure that he is dry, fed, not sick (no fever etc) and then safely tuck the little guy into bed and leave the room. Don't let yourself go in there for two minutes and then if he is still awake, sneak in without eye contact, say 'time for sleep', retuck the covers and go away for three minutes, increasing the time imbetween until he goes to sleep. You'll feel terribly neglectful however I promise that he won't remember any of it when he grows up (or even when he wakes up) and within a week or so you'll have a little guy that associates bed with sleep. And you and your other half will be a lot more relaxed and well rested.

Oh - and a trick of the trade which I and all the second and third time mums in my coffee group swear by - is put them to bed awake. Don't get them off to sleep on your shoulder or in a pram and then transfer them asleep into bed - they'll never figure out how to get themselves to sleep in bed.

This worked brilliantly for Andrew and I'll do the same when the next arrives.

Good luck

My advice is to just do anything you can to keep sane!

The other thing is that you need to be a bit consistent to that they can learn. I don't know how long you persevered with each technique, but try sticking with one for a while (whichever is easiest for you) and see how he deals with it after a couple of days.

And when there is a good day, make the most of it!

My friend Jo had a really unsettled baby. they tried everything and Jo has 3 other kids so knew what she was doing. It ended up being that Lily has a Lactose Intolerance and of course Jo was breastfeeding so Lily was getting it and never settling.


If nothing else works and you are at your wits end maybe see the Doc?

A lot of babies cry because they are overtired!

Plunket and the Parent Centre are great.

Also the Books Contented Baby and Baby and Toddler.

Joshua was really unsettled for the first few weeks, I put it down to his little stomach getting used to processing food. We would lie him on our legs while we were sitting up, and lift his little legs up and push them back towards his tummy, then stretch them back again and just repeat it over again until he calmed down. Wrapping them nice and tight is also good, as the startle reflex will wake them. And definitely put them to bed awake wherever possible, although if your bubs is just new then you probably won't be able to wake him too easily if he falls asleep during a feed. Call plunket if you feel you need help - a friend of mine went to a sleep 'boot camp' and it was great as they took care of baby and mummy got to have some sleep and some time to herself (it's a whole day thing). There is also a book called babywise which I found really helpful. Good luck!

Four days old - congratulations - he really is a new little guy. Give him lots of cuddles - skin to skin contact is great - and loads of love and you guys will all be fine. Wrapping is really good for the little ones - it gives them a good sense of security...and as you are still on early, early days, don't fret too much (he'll pick up if you are anxious) - things will settle down over the next few weeks.

Like Maree said, they can sense tension from whoever is holding them. The more relaxed you can be (even if he is screaming) the better. Easier said than done, but breathe and know that it has to stop at some point!!!

One plunket nurse taught me to put him down all wrapped up and fed and changed and then rub between his eyes or over his eyebrows so it makes him shut his eyes. When he seems to be asleep walk out and if he starts crying again go in there and put you hand on his body so he knows your there but don't make eye contact. Are you from St Albans? cos I think you would have kerry as your plunket nurse and she is great so maybe you could try giving her a call or going into the parents centre. Also try putting a couplt of books under the top end of his bassinet.