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james 
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Location: New Zealand
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 Topic: what do i do
Posted: 10 December 2008 at 6:45am |
i had a huge bust up with a relly good friend this year over her abusive panter. i have just had a phone call from my mum and her panter has died i am in shock and feel so sad for her and her kids one that she is still preggent with. what do i do do i ring her or text her we were relly close till he got in the way 
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kakapo
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Posted: 10 December 2008 at 7:18am |
That's so sad ... could you go see her in person and give her a big hug? If she doesn't live nearby I'd probably phone rather than text .
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Kazzle
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Posted: 10 December 2008 at 7:18am |
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if it was me, i would ring her, especially if she was a really good friend, if you dont want to ring her, you could maybe send her a card letting her know that you are there for her.
big hugs to you, this is a hard situation to be in
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Danaj
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Posted: 10 December 2008 at 7:50am |
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Tragedy often puts things in perspective. Go and see her. She might be angry at you but that would probably be her lashing out. Put the past behind you and give her all the support you can. She's going to need it.
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NeoshasMummy
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Posted: 10 December 2008 at 7:55am |
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Definately go and see her she will need your support.
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 Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007
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jack_&_charli
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Posted: 10 December 2008 at 8:31am |
go and see her lu........it's a good time to sort things out between you two and put it all under the bridge....she will need good friends around her for support 
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caraMel
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Posted: 10 December 2008 at 10:15am |
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Yeah I agree, go and see her with a big bunch of flowers or something, let her know that you knew she loved him and that you are really sorry for her loss, despite how you felt about their relationship and that you are there for her.
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Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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DzinerGirl
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Posted: 10 December 2008 at 10:25am |
I agree..I had a big bust up with a really close friend and we didn't talk for months but when I heard she had had a miscarriage I sent her a text to say how sorry I was and we're slowly getting back to how things were. I know it's not the same but caraMel has a good point about despite how you felt about the relationship and her partner what's important is how she felt about him and how she must be feeling now. She'll need support at this hard time.
Good luck hope things work out 
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 10 December 2008 at 10:55am |
 caraMel wrote:
Yeah I agree, go and see her with a big bunch of flowers or something, let her know that you knew she loved him and that you are really sorry for her loss, despite how you felt about their relationship and that you are there for her.
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I agree.
Be prepared that she may get angry at you but that probably has a lot to do with grief.
You'll probably also find that she's forgotton all the bad things about him and only remembers the good (we went through that earlier this year when my a.hole FIL died) - let her only remember the good... let her hold onto that and never remind her what a prick he was, it's nice for her to remember him through rose tinted glasses and does no good to remind her of what he was really like (I hope when I pass people only remember nice things about me too).
Edited by MrsMojo
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 10 December 2008 at 2:52pm |
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I made no secret of the fact I didn't approve of a friend's relationship with her abusive partner , but when he committed suicide I went round straight away and she was just glad for the support.
You dont have to act like now that hes dead you feel differently about him , but im sure even if she is angry now (and it wont just be at you, it will be at the world in general) once things calm down , she will remember that despite how you felt you were still there when she needed it
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 10 December 2008 at 2:55pm |
MrsMojo wrote:
[QUOTE=caraMel]
You'll probably also find that she's forgotton all the bad things about him and only remembers the good (we went through that earlier this year when my a.hole FIL died) - let her only remember the good... let her hold onto that and never remind her what a prick he was, it's nice for her to remember him through rose tinted glasses and does no good to remind her of what he was really like (I hope when I pass people only remember nice things about me too). |
I agree.
And from the sounds of it , she will have enough to deal with (being pregnant and all) if she wants to remember him in a shining light, let her , she deserves too
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james
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Posted: 11 December 2008 at 7:34am |
he did kill himself aswell and she found him i think i may go see her this afternoon
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 11 December 2008 at 9:46am |
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*hugs* lu, as hard as it will be , im sure she will really appreciate it
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what do i do
