Questions for Dorothy Waide

Missed out on the OHbaby! Coffee Catchup? You still have the chance to ask OHbaby! Expert Dorothy Waide any questions you may have.

Hi Dorothy, Thanks for yesterday.

A quick question regarding tips for resettling and feeding at nights..
My 3 1/2 month old goes does fairly quickly for his sleeps now at night around 7, however the issue is he is waking at 11, i resettle with a dummy and shhh, then awake again about 12 again I resettle the same way. He will usually sleep until 3ish when I will give a quick no fuss feed he then wakes again about 5 when i feed again,(im not sure if i should feed here or resstle) and then he'll go down till 7 or 8am. He has about 4 day sleeps in which 2 of those are usually longer than 45mins, somtimes i have to resettle to get the longer day sleep, somtimes i don't. He is fully breastfed..
So a few questions
1) How many times should I be going into resettle at night. Is it everytime he wake or should we start doing the cry 5mins etc at night too?
2)Do u think I am relying on the dummy too much, therefore he can't actually resettle on his own.
3) At what age would you say that babies can go through the night without a feed, when should I look to cut out that 3am feed? (he is a good sized boy 7kg at 3months)

Many Thanks in advance

Hi Dorothy!
Like everyone else, enjoyed hearing you yesterday. But also have a question like the above about dummies-our wee girl is good to go through the day without a dummy, but when it comes to sleeps we give her the dummy to settle and she's pretty much asleep in 5-10 mins. She's just coming up 6 months and would love to get her off it. She has good sleeps during the day and sleeps throughout the night and very rarely wakes from 'needing' the dummy. Though we have tried to settle her without it, and it can take up to half an hour of grizzlies, settling, yelling, settling... Until the dummy, then presto she's asleep!! It works to get her down without a fight, but I don't want it around forever.

Thank you! X

Hi Annie
Well done, I am pleased that the unswaddling went well.

1.     Yes, I always top up my breastfed babies before going back to bed. So I always offer a full feed, play and then top up.   I try and not let them go to sleep on the breast at this stage and if they do, by the time you pop them into their sleeping bags they normally have woken up. NO I would not spilt the feed it is actually as I have just mentioned a full feed, play and then reoffering what they want.

2.     I am not able to answer question fully, however if your baby is lactose intolerance then I would certainly go dairy free until you finish breast feeding. This means you can not even smell dairy. If you are like me there are lots of yummie alternatives out there in the market place to replace our ÔjunkÕ food desires.

The other thing I would start to do is to feed totally from one side per feed.   This helps reduce the lactose intolerance for a breast fed baby. It is important that they get as much hind milk (fat) as possible.   You could also take additional omega 3Õs and look at taking pea protein. If you need to feed from the other side thats okay, just remember to feed as much as possible from the first side and then the second side. I refer to the first side as my 'cake' and the second side as the 'icing'.

Also don't forget to pop over and 'like' my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/BabyWithin

Hi Dorothy,

You mentioned yesterday for beast feeding women to cut dairy from their diet. Would you suggest a calcium supplement or vitamin or would this affect milk too?

Hi babybaby1

I found some at Kmart. Brand is baby solutions and are referred to as cherry shaped. They are nice looking too - i dont want to draw attention to the dummy!!
They are the only one my son liked -tried the other slim ones but he loves the traditional shaped ones :)

Sarah

HI Paulee
Hi Paulee
I hope the settling routine will help you. With regard to your baby waking during the night around 5 months Ð I tend to find that this is when they are getting ready to want more calories throughout the day which is of course when we introduce solids.

When to start the time frame for settling this is an individual choice, however I tend to stay away if it is definitely the off and on cry, but again will check in at certain intervals depending on how old the baby is.

Settling Routine Ð this is to be done in small stepping-stones. Also you need to be able to work within your boundaries and that of your daughters.    Its not about taking a leap from one extreme to the other, but about taking small steps stones pushing boundaries slightly and feeling good about what you are trying to accomplish.

So how do we get babies to sleep well? As with establishing feeding, it takes TIME, ACCEPTANCE, CONSISTENCY and TRANQUILITY (TACT).

Settling
Your needs to be able to de stress when going to bed and she needs to go to bed wide-awake with no props. Settling at this time can take anywhere from 20 to 60 minutes. Props are feeding to sleep, dummies, rocking, anything that stops them or interferes with them finding their own sleep.

After doing the top up feed, then put her in her sleeping bag, and then she is ready for her cot.

Close curtains and make room nice and cocoon feeling - Ð settle in a dark room Ð dark is for sleeping Ð light is for playing.

Put your baby in her cot wide awake (dump and run Ð nurturing)

The crying/grizzling time will start with 5-minute intervals and then build up to 20 (which most times they play before falling asleep)

Cry up to 5 minutes STOP THINK and ACT
Comfort ssh and pat Ð this is to reassure and not to stop crying and should be shorter than the crying time
Cry up to 5 minutes STOP THINK and ACT
Comfort ssh and pat Ð this is to reassure and not to stop crying and should be shorter than the crying time
Cry up to 5 minutes STOP THINK and ACT
Comfort ssh and pat Ð this is to reassure and not to stop crying and should be shorter than the crying time
Cry up to 5 minutes STOP THINK and ACT
Comfort ssh and pat off to sleep or pick up and do this in arms Ð but you will need to put her back into her cot at some stage. In the beginning I would suggest holding until she is at least 1 ¼ hours into her naptime and then put back into her cot and let her wake up there. If she wakes as you are putting her back into her cot continue to do this and try and get out of the room. Even if you have to come straight back in it is an important step for her to learn to wake up in her cot. When you re enter the room open up her room before going to the cot, but chatting to her.

Ideally you should be able to do the above in one 20-minute lot and then comfort off to sleep - but the idea is not to go backwards to feeding asleep.

Then the next stage will be
Cry 10 STOP THINK and ACT
Comfort ssh and pat Ð this is to reassure and not to stop crying and should be shorter than the crying time
Cry 10
Comfort ssh and pat off to sleep or pick up and do this in arms Ð but you will need to put her back into her cot at some stage. In the beginning I would suggest holding until she is at least 1 ¼ hours into her naptime and then put back into her cot and let her wake up there. If she wakes as you are putting her back into her cot continue to do this and try and get out of the room. Even if you have to come straight back in it is an important step for her to learn to wake up in her cot. When you re enter the room open up her room before going to the cot, but chatting to her.

Then the next stage will be
Cry up to 20 STOP THINK and ACT
Comfort ssh and pat Ð this is to reassure and not to stop crying and should be shorter than the crying time
Cry 10
Comfort ssh and pat off to sleep or pick up and do this in arms Ð but you will need to put her back into her cot at some stage. In the beginning I would suggest holding until she is at least 1 ¼ hours into her naptime and then put back into her cot and let her wake up there. If she wakes as you are putting her back into her cot continue to do this and try and get out of the room. Even if you have to come straight back in it is an important step for her to learn to wake up in her cot. When you re enter the room open up her room before going to the cot, but chatting to her.

The last stage you will find that she will be asleep by the end of the 20 minutes wind down.

Also the crying isnÕt to be crying at the top of her lungs for this length of time. Your baby will start of loud and slowly reduce and also stop and start. If its constant at one level and goes for a long time then you need to reassure and see what is happening.

When comforting donÕt talk or give your bay eye contact Ð both of these stimulate Ð you can use the ssh ssh noise and let your body talk to her. Also try and stand to the middle or bottom end of hher when comforting.

Do this settling up to ten days Ð if its not working then you need to address what you are doing.

The crying time can and will be built up to 20 to 30 minutes especially on the first cry and then intervene.   Also the time frame does depend on the cry and also how you are feeling - nothing is set in stone but you do have to push the boundaries to get results.


Re settling once asleep
Most babies wake up after going to sleep and its usually between 20 to 45 minutes.    They have different levels of sleep and the two most talked about are their light sleep and then their deep sleep.


Option 1
I would suggest going to her as quickly as possible and pat and ssh her off to sleep. Remember no eye contact or voice stimulation, however some mums do sing to their babies and it does not seem to stimulate them.

When you first start to teach her to go from her light to heavy sleep it is important that as soon as you hear your baby stirring that you intervene quickly so she doesnÕt wake up too much. You can pat and ssh her back to sleep - do stay in the room though and continue to pat her off until she is sleeping.   Once you have mastered this and she is learning to re settle then you go onto the next stage.

Option 2 (or next step to Option 1)
When your baby is really at to move to the next stage (so once you feel confident) you will need to leave her to sort herself out - but when you move from the first stage of re-settling remember you are teaching her to go from one cycle to the other so donÕt leave her too long.

Then again over a period of time you will increase the grizzling time so eventually your baby will resettle herself.

Use the settling guidelines. SO this means that after doing a partial resettle (leave to grizzle for - from1 to 20 mins) then you need to stay in the room and pat her off to sleep. The time frame does depend on how long you are letting your bay cry/grizzle for her to settle before going to sleep.

The goal here is to teach your baby to go from one sleep cycle to the next.. This is what takes the time but once they learn to resettle then they will resettle on their own during the night.

ALso with regard to the night waking remember to feed for hunger and not comfort.

Hi Liily27
I would suggest continuing what you are doing by putting her in her cot without her dummy and then giving her some time to self settle.

You have not mentioned how you are feeding her but if you are breastfeeding I would suggest giving her the top up feed before going back to bed.

I would use the settling techiques that I have posted on the forum and the first time you go in to comfort, just pat and ssh and then leave the room

If she does not settle then the next time you go in then use the dummy. Eventually she will find her thumb Ð I am wondering whether you are still swaddling or her arms are free.

Hi babybaby1
These are similar to the old fashioned pear shaped dummies, otherwise avent ones are okay as well

http://www.fishpond.co.nz/Lifestyle/First-Years-BPA-Free-GumDrop-Newborn-Pacifier-2pk-Pink-Purple/0071463047611

Hi Dorothy

I have an 8 month old son who sleeps fine during the day (generally 2 decent naps) and he settles quickly but almost always wakes once in the night(3/4am). Without knowing any better, i have always got up when he stirs/starts crying and given him a full feed (lights dimmed without talking or making eye contact) before putting him back down where he sleeps the rest of the night without a peep. He has done quite a few nights where he sleeps through til 7/730 so i know he can do it, but if he does wake and i leave him to cry in the night he wont stop, and if i go in and shush him he SCREAMS louder. Do i just need to be tougher? Could you advise me how to start? He is generally not a crying baby so i get quite stressed out when hes screaming!
Thanks