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Mrs Mac View Drop Down
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Joined: 06 June 2011
Location: Manukau
Points: 433 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mrs Mac Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Telling People
    Posted: 26 January 2013 at 9:05pm
On Tuesday (today is Saturday) I miscarried my second baby at 7 weeks 3 days. On Monday we had a dating scan where we saw a beautiful little baby with a strong heartbeat. After the scan we told our parents, who were thrilled. It was a complete shock when I started bleeding and cramping on Tuesday afternoon.

It felt dreadful telling our parents that we lost the baby (especially so soon just after we told them we were pregnant), but they were wonderful. Also, I'm the kind of person who needs the support of her friends when something like this happens. Since then I've told a few close friends what happened, even though they didn't know we were pregnant.

I was just thinking we have such a weird culture around miscarriage. Most women I know don't tell people they're pregnant until after the 12 week scan "just in case we miscarry." We didn't tell anyone until after our dating scan at 7 weeks "just in case we miscarry," but when we actually miscarried I needed the support of friends and family so I told them anyway.

I think next time I'll be telling them when we get a BFP. I won't be publishing it on Facebook or anything like that, I just think that our close family and friends are such a wonderful support, if I'm going to call on them if I miscarry then there's no reason not to tell them straight away, so they can share in the joy of discovering the pregnancy too.
      
Jan '13
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Milinda104410 View Drop Down
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Joined: 26 January 2013
Points: 3 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Milinda104410 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 January 2013 at 9:16pm
Hi Mrs Mac,

So sorry to hear of your loss, we have had 3 MC now and support of family and close friends is a must to get me through also.

Hope your third time lucky
Best wishes
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Mrs Mac View Drop Down
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Joined: 06 June 2011
Location: Manukau
Points: 433 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mrs Mac Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 January 2013 at 9:30pm
Thanks Milinda, 1 MC is bad, 3 must be really hard! Best of luck to you too!
      
Jan '13
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Pitter patter View Drop Down
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Points: 1043 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pitter patter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 January 2013 at 6:45pm
Mrs Mac and Melinda so sorry to hear about your losses. I agree with you Mrs Mac considering 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage most of us to not know how common they are or what happens when you miscarry because no one talks about it. Next time I get pregnant I am going to tell those that I told and were supportive after the miscariage when I get a bfp, I know they will be the ones I would need (along with the forum girls on oh baby) if it happened again.
Mrs Mac there are lots of us on here that have had miscariages so know what you are going through. I wish I'd taken some multivitemens after mine as i didn't realise how hard it was on my body until later. I did take time to rest and grieve which I am glad about. Hugs to you at this hard timeHug

TTC number 2 since April 2011
MC Nov 12
Formally Mamma2one
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LG View Drop Down
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Joined: 31 March 2007
Location: Northland
Points: 607 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 February 2013 at 9:20pm
After having a m/c in August when i hadnt told people we were pregnant, i decided next time we got pregnant i would tell our families and a few friends straight away. I found it hideous telling people i needed help after m/c when they didnt know i was pregnant in the first place.

Ive had 2 people put something on FB after having a m/c when they hadnt announced their pregnancy yet. Both of them got so many comments from people who had had m/c saying they wished they had told people. Personally i wouldnt do that but am probably going to put something on for our due date because its a date we've both been counting down too (sorry, slightly off topic)



Angel Baby Aug '12, Feb '13
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