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simone112331 
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Joined: 03 April 2013
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 Topic: Motherless mothers
Posted: 03 April 2013 at 1:13pm |
Hi there, I have been doing some research on motherless mothers. ie The challenges women face when they themselves were raised wtihout a mother and now are mothering themselves. I am keen to hear from anyone who falls into this category, to continue with the research. ALSO, I am aware that there is probably a need to set-up a support group for motherless mothers, so am interested in helping to facilitate this. (The idea being to get older women who have themselves been raised motherless to mentor younger women through the issues). 
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Sag76
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Joined: 12 March 2011
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Posted: 03 April 2013 at 3:17pm |
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Hi
I am currently 20 wks pregnant to my first child. My mother left when I was 4 so I consider myself to be motherless. Look forward to hearing more...
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Cathy112518
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Joined: 04 April 2013
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Posted: 04 April 2013 at 5:27pm |
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I am in the same situation as Sag76 here, except for my mother died when she gave birth to my brother. My dad had hired some nanny's for us until he could get remarried but unfortunately he was never able to be wed again. I am excited for this project!
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Catherine
Edited to remove advertising link :)
Edited by Kelz - 12 April 2013 at 12:06pm
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1st_Time_Preggies
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Joined: 24 May 2009
Location: Auckland
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Posted: 04 April 2013 at 8:19pm |
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My mum died when I was 19, and I feel not having a mum to help/support me definitely contributed to me developing PND. Would love to be part of a support group!
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Louise99033
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Posted: 04 April 2013 at 10:16pm |
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My Mun died when I was 13 I am now 41 and 33 weeks with my third. It just makes everything harder. There isn't that one person who loves you unconditionally that you can talk to. and all the times you would have loved to have mum there. Weddings births birthdays all the special moments. I have my sister and Dad but its not the same.
If you need some help i would be happy to to talk to you. At least i had 13 years with her.
my first was so hard i had no idea what to do with this baby. Thank god my midwife (who I had with all 3) is the most amazing midwife ever. I dont know what i would have done without her. Sag 76 and cathy I hope you have someone close to you to help you out.
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baby burns
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Joined: 10 April 2013
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Posted: 12 April 2013 at 10:25am |
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I am 40 12 weeks pregnant with my 6th child. My mother left when I was 3 and I was an only child raised by my wonderful father. He had some fantastic sisters that helped out with the 'womanly' stuff around puberty!! I really envy the relationship my friends have with their mothers, especially those with children. I think that my growing up with out a mother has made me determined to be the most loving and involved mother I can be and a lonely childhood with no siblings has, I think, influenced me ending up with so many children!! Our house is full of noise, laughter and love and I am proud on my parenting as I feel I've really had to wing it!! I used to be scared I wouldn't know how to mother my children but it's amazing how instinctual it is! :)
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SkyHigh
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Posted: 15 April 2013 at 10:41am |
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My mum died when i was 3. I had my first when i was 19, second at 21 & now have a 6mth old and im 30. I suffered PND with the first and slight blues with last two.. was told not having mum was probably a huge factor whether i knew it or not.
Would love to find out more and help others wherever i can.
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Sag76
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 7:28pm |
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Love your post baby burns - inspirational :-)
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VanBram
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Joined: 30 January 2013
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Posted: 06 May 2013 at 5:20pm |
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My mother is not actually absent, but has a serious mental illness. She is behaving in an out-of-control manner re: the other grandmother (seriously, well beyond the usual competitive behaviour), and throughout our past has had episodes of being really emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. I'm used to this behaviour but she's started having a go at my partner too and I fear it will cause trouble in our relationship, added to the stress of pregnancy. Obviously she isn't an option for advice and particularly not comfort. I feel very lonely. Does anyone else have an out-of-control mother? Where are you, with absent mothers, turning for comfort in your pregnancy??
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Louise99033
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Posted: 06 May 2013 at 9:33pm |
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Hi VanBram. I have been getting support from my sister and work mates. I am lucky to work in a Kindergarten so there is lots of people who are genuinely supportive. I would not ask my mother in law however she also has a mental illness that she and her family like to hide and sweep under the carpet. I also do not like or agree with her lack of parenting skills. She has attention seeking disorder which can be very destructive and dangerous. I just don't feel she is anything like a mum and do not call her mum even after being with my partner for ten years. It is a bit of a pain but I just don't feel comfortable talking to her or asking her for help.
I feel for you it is hard when you feel there is no one to turn to. My first husband and daughter moved to oz when my daughter was only 1 month old. I felt very isolated. Do you have an aunty or cousin you can talk to, does your dad have a partner you can talk to? Even a work mate or neighbour. At least when you have the baby you could join a coffee or play group.
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Louise99033
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Posted: 06 May 2013 at 9:39pm |
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Baby burns I agree fully. I am so proud of myself for what I have accomplished. It is amazing what you can do when there are so many people that think you are going to fail. I can remember thinking what the hell do I tell my kids about santa etc but you do just wing a lot of it. Cant wait for the periods to begin
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Motherless mothers