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redtulip View Drop Down
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    Posted: 24 June 2013 at 8:22am
Hi ladies,
Have started this thread as a place to come for those of us that have experienced miscarriages/stillbirth and are carrying on the journey to ttc our huggable babies.
If you have suggestions, advice, questions or would just like some support I'm sure this will become a open, positive and comforting place to come.Know that you're not alone as there seem to be lots of us floating around the forum who have similar experiences and are here to help.

As a brief intro, I'm turning 40 next month and have been ttc with dh for 2.5 years. I have had 4 missed m/c's during that time. After our 3rd m/c we had lots of tests done and an ultrasound but no cause has been found. Tried progesterone suppositories during 4th pregnancy but unfortunately mc'd due to Trisomy 16 so no chance any treatment would have helped. I'm currently doing acupuncture weekly and have been doing a herbal detox for the past 3-4 weeks. Acupuncturist thinks I might have problems with my thyroid or adrenals so working on those. I've been wondering for a while if I might have a thin uterine lining as my af is very light and short. So acupuncture will hopefully help with this and I'm trying to look up what else I might be able to do to help.

Sorry - did turn into a bit of a novel - feel free to join in
5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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tan73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tan73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 3:11pm
Thanks Redtulip, great idea. I hadn't even realised there wasn't a thread like this! Hehe.

I'm 39, turning 40 next month, eeek! DH is 30. We have been TTC #1 for a year. I have had 2 missed m/c. Have been with FA since the second m/c due to my age. I have low progesterone issues and short, light AF's, which I suspect is thin lining. Plan of action atm is to try for a few months and go on progesterone once I get a BFP. Failing a BFP, I will go on Clomid. I am unsure about whether I want to do this as I have heard it can cause thin lining. Will find out more about this. Dh and I have already decided we don't want to go further with IVF or anything as we have found TTC stressfyl enough, due to other issues, so unless it happens naturally, possibly with a bit of drug treatment, then it's not going to happen for us. I am preparing myself for this possibility now, just in case.

Edited by tan73 - 24 June 2013 at 3:11pm


2 Angels - Aug '12 & Mar '13 Always in our hearts.
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a.girl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote a.girl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 4:01pm
Yay! Thanks Tulip for starting this up. It's just the thread I've been looking for!

Im 33 years old and have only been TTC #1 since Feb this year. We had a big surprise after getting a BFP one month after TTC but sadly needed a medically managed missed m/c at wk11 after finding no HB at wk 7. Who knows why?!?!?! I'm healthy, fit, no problems with my menstrual cycle, etc. So on we soldier...

First question of the thread... when did your AF start after the m/c. It's only 22 days since my mc (and just under 2 weeks since my spotting stopped - though it was never heavy after I left the hospital). And I started spotting today with backache and crampy feeling? What the heck? Also noticed a big temp drop this morning. But my HCG's were still at 45 one week ago (and have been dropping at a steady rate). Maybe is this still part of the mc?
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tan73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tan73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 4:16pm
Amerciangirl - from my experience, anything goes after m/c. After the first m/c I had bleeding for about 10 days. AF came 32 days later. I had no spotting in between or anything. After the second m/c, I had bleeding for about 7 - 10 days although sometimes I couldn't tell if it was spotting or bleeding really. AF arrived after 35 days but I had spotting after 23 days for 5 days. This cycle I have had spotting on and off that didn't stop until CD18. During that time I did have a small surgery to remove polyps and bled after for a day, then back to spotting. Not sure what's going on but I reckon after the first m/c it took me 3 months for my cycles to be completely normal again.

Edited by tan73 - 24 June 2013 at 4:16pm


2 Angels - Aug '12 & Mar '13 Always in our hearts.
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a.girl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote a.girl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 4:26pm
Thanks, Tan. I feel like I'm getting AF, but it just doesn't make sense with dates and hcg levels. But your right - anything goes! I've learned in the last 3 months that everyone is so different and symptoms/sign can mean totally different things. My friend who's due on the day I was is still spotting and has been all along just like I was... but I miscarried and she didn't. Argh. I just want to be past this (as I'm sure all of you do to!)
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tan73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tan73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 4:41pm
I definitely do! But if I have learned anything in all of this, the whole pregnancy bizzo is the one thing that we absolutely CANNOT control. None of it, not even what our bodies do, can be controlled and that sucks because we are so used to controlling different aspects of our lives. The best way I find to keep going is to celebrate my body and all the things it does right and try to be patient about the things still coming right. I think, by our bodies doing silly things, it also gives us time to really grieve and heal before launching back in again. That doesn't happen for everyone, some people get pg straight away. But in some ways, I am glad that hasn't happened to me. It's definitely a process that takes time for me.


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redtulip View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote redtulip Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 6:47pm
Hi guys,
Great you're here! Always felt this thread had been missing - the m/c support thread can be very quiet and there hasn't really been an appropriate place to ask lots of questions without feeling like I'm tread-jacking lol! Have also been aware that as much as it's great to get m/c out in the open I don't want to worry or add stress to anyones journey while they're ttc - so many of us ttc and facing fertility issues I don't want to be a constant reminder of something else that can go wrong. As you've said Tan, we're so used to having control over different aspects of our lives, m/c can really leave you feeling helpless.
So. I've felt really positive that surely our luck ttc has to swing our way sooner or later and that it's just a numbers game however strangely stacked. I've always wondered how the idea of a stork arriving with a baby came about... wouldn't that just fix it all lol!!
Americangirl, totally agree that 'anything goes' seems to be what happens with our cycles after m/c. For me, I have aways had d&c's after my m/c's as emotionally I haven't been able to cope with the thought of waiting for it to happen naturally and the possibility of it not being complete. I've also chosen d&c last 2 times as the hospital are able to run a number of tests that can help to determine cause if they have our bean with them. After d&c I've only had 2 days of light bleeding and af has always started 5 weeks after the procedure. I've heard of ladies having all manner of af's after m/c tho.
Like Tan I'm concerned my uterine lining doesn't become thick enough to support a healthy bean.
Did a bit of googling today and there is so much contradictory info about Red Rasberry leaf tea and Vitex (if it's safe in first trimester) so going to ask my acupuncturist if she knows. Some totally safe things I learnt to help build your lining are: eating up to 5 brazil nuts per day and also eating pineapple core from 1 dpo to 5 dpo. Also, there is an acupressure point about 2 inches below your bellybutton. Apparently if you massage it in a circular motion for about 2 mins a day it can also stimulate your lining.
So, sorry to ramble - but 3 totally harmless things that could make a difference. Saw pineapples on special just the other day so going to give it a try. Due to ov on Wednesday. Started our BD marathon yesterday so definately in the game this month.   
5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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tan73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tan73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 6:59pm
Good luck Redtulip!

I need a bit of advice - not sure if this is the right thread though! I might post it on the Clomid thread too.

So I got a call from FA. They said there is still absolutely NO action in the ov department for me - not even an indication that I am going to ov soon. Sigh.

This has never happened to me before. I did temping for 4 cycles after my first m/c and seemed to ov every time according to temps. Anyway, they said I can go on Clomid straight away if I like. I would need to have monitoring (at another $290, thank you very much, and I would have a scan to check lining etc.

I am really unsure as I believe this is the first time I haven't ov'd and with everything else that has gone on in the last few months, I can't blame it really (although the specialist reckons none of that should make a difference). I was looking at taking Vitex for a bit first, but the nurses said they had never heard of it and generally don't recommend chinese herbal remedies as they have not been proven to be very sound and there is not enough robust research.

I am undecided between taking the damn drugs, giving Vitex a go, or just waiting a bit longer for my body to sort itself out - even if it's just to wait for AF to show and then start Clomid at the right time (usually CD3).

Hmmm what to do?

Do you get AF if you haven't ov'd?

I have to laugh as I have been feeling unsettled and anxious that there isn't a plan in place to 'get on with it' and now there is and I am dithering!


2 Angels - Aug '12 & Mar '13 Always in our hearts.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babygiraffe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 7:02pm
Thanks RT, great thread for those of us that have lost little angels.

I am 40, will be 41 at the end of the year. We started trying in Sept 09 and was lucky to fall pg pretty much straight away. Unfortunately we lost 3 pregnancies in a row - 2 natural and one D&C. It was the hardest thing I've been through and it was a really low time in my life. I ended up seeing a specialist and they couldn't really tell me why, it was just one of those things and eventually I'd get the recipe right. Although they did pick up on my thyroid levels not being high enough so now I take medication for that. And then sure enough we did fall pg and in Jan last year our little ray of sunshine was born - I never thought I'd get to be a Mum. She is my little miracle
We started trying again as soon as my AF returned, it took us 7 months and I fell pg again but unfortunately that ended in m/c. It was twins as well - a real kick in the guts. I thought because I'd already carried a pregnancy to full term I was exempt from m/c. Not to be I coped well though, I had a real live baby to worry about and she kept me busy and made me smile. We are back on the horse again and fair to say its taking longer than I'd hoped. I was convinced I was UTD this month, I felt so seedy yesterday but big temp drop today and spotting. Bummer. Thats my novel anyway hugs to you all
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redtulip View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote redtulip Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 7:17pm
Hi BG! Great to see you here

Tans, sorry don't know anything about clomid but pretty sure af will come even if you haven't ov'd - my only reasoning is that you often hear of ladies that have had no idea that they haven't been ov'ing because their af comes (so they automatically thought ov had happened). I have a friend who swears by vitex (or chaste tree). Her and another friend were having trouble ttc and both had luck while taking it... BUT, after looking it up today I'm not sure I'd take it until you've spoken to someone about it. It might not be suitable for people who have recurrent/unexplained m/c. Hold out til Wed if you can - as I'm going to ask my acupuncturist at my appt.
When would your af normally be due?
5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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tan73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tan73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 7:24pm
Yeah I think I will wait a bit longer. I have just done some reading about AF after no ov and it all says you can have AF but it's not really AF - it's a shedding of built up lining. That might explain my light periods? I tell you, I could scream! I am sick of guessing and trying to work it all out! I am keen to do Vitex first but also I forgot to say the nurse said that if Vitex stimulates progesterone then that's not what we want right now, we want estrogen to make the eggy come out. Maybe I have been not always oving the whole time. It would explain the lack of symptoms I have been getting post ov. Oh well, I don't want to leave another novel, so I think I will wait for a bit and see if AF arrives.


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redtulip View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote redtulip Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 7:33pm
Will def ask her at my appt on Wed and let you know. And yeah, you're right about the estrogen. Can understand the frustration, so confusing sometimes huh!
Even if it's not 'af' as such... surely a new cycle starts after the lining has shed tho right?
Chin up my friend - your bfps prove you ov so it might just be your bod sorting itself for next cycle
5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babygiraffe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 8:30pm
I ov every month as far as I aware, or as far as FF tells me I do! But my specialist has suggested clomid for me if I'm not UTD by August. I think I'll do it, I'm keen to get the next pregnancy under way sooner than later. I guess I'd have to do a monitored cycle so I can imagine DH will be cringing at the cost. I feel like I'm running a bit low on time though. Be interested to see what your accu lady says RT...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tan73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 8:54pm
I know what you mean BG!


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Welcome BG! Well, I say that in a supportive way. It stinks to be in our positions, but hopefully this thread helps us stay positive and sane!

Tan, I don't know much at all about clomid so I can't help you out much there. I know for sure that you can get AF without ovulating - I would say it's quite likely to have that happen after a m/c. I read in a few places that any bleeding or spotting 2-3 weeks after a m/c is most likely still due to the mc and not AF. Some places say you can only count AF if you had no bleeding/spotting for 2-3 solid weeks. That's why I'm a bit worried about my spotting and cramping right now. It seems too soon for AF so I'm wondering if it could be retained product

With regards to the herbal drinks, I'm a bit paranoid (and DH is a pharmacist)so we're not too keen on anything that isn't backed by heaps of medical research. Just best not to risk it in our opinion. I guess I just think that if something REALLY does all the stuff it's suppose to, then why aren't doctors recommending it and why isn't there more research to support it. I know I'm biased though because of DH and our circle of doctor friends.

And to all of us, my doctor said to me today "you're body will know when it's ready, so just trust it and don't try to rush it!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tan73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 9:40pm
Thanks Americangirl - great quote at the end. I do agree with that.

Interesting about Vitex. It's interesting that the nurses at FA have never even heard of it. They do recommend accupuncture though, but not chinese medicine.

Interesting about AF and spotting - I didn't know that. I have been spotting for about a month now. If your body is cramping and spotting from retained tissue, I think you would either keep bleeding and it will clear it out, or you'll start to feel worse and need to go get checked out. I hope it's just your body sorting itself out. Try not to worry.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emsbet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 9:52pm
Thanks for starting this redtulip - great idea!

I'm 31 and DH and I decided to start trying for our first this year. I ended up pregnant in the first month of trying, but miscarried when I was almost 12wks (embryo stopped growing at around 6wks). I had no idea - had all the pregnancy symptoms that whole time (morning sickness etc), then started spotting when I was 2 days away from 12wks. My sister had bleeding early in her first pregnancy (everything turned out fine) so I wasn't too worried ... I must say, I never thought about the possibility of miscarriage - was only worried that I might have trouble getting UPD! We'll wait a couple of months before TTC again (allow a bit of time to "clear out").

Americangirl - my 1st AF after the mc came about 3&1/2 weeks after the last of the mc bleeding (which all up, including spotting before & after everything came out, lasted about 2&1/2 weeks). The mc was natural (no intervention). That AF lasted only about 3 days - I was expecting more, but oh well. That was end of May - don't know when I should be expecting my next AF!

It's great to have a forum like this to discuss this sort of thing - it's something I haven't really talked about with anyone. I don't want people to know (maybe it's just that I don't want people to know I'm trying for a baby), but miscarriage seems to be something that isn't really openly discussed (in person anyway), which is odd seeing how often it happens!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote vineyardhoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 June 2013 at 11:01pm
hi everyone, might jump in here too!

I'm 28, so is DH, been TTC since June 2012, fell pregnant on our 3rd cycle, at a really odd time - I must have been between day 5 and 10 when I ovulated, as I got my first BFP with a clearblue digital on CD17. Long drawn out process from there, monitored by early pregnancy clinic as I had a suspected ectopic and slow rising HCG. 3 weeks after my BFP my HCG started to drop naturally, so I didn't need medical management or surgery and it was another 5 weeks before my hormone levels dropped away.

I just thought I would pass on this interesting bit of info. Some of you know that I am seeing a traditional chinese medicine practitioner and acupuncturist. they talk a lot about blood flow, colour of your period. there is a theory that if you are spotting a lot, or brown, thick, or clotted blood that stops/starts a fair bit during your period, that there is a sign that "old blood" has not cleared out of your system. Looking back, my cycle shows this definitely since my M/C. My first AF after 2 sessions of acupuncture was completely different.

Take what you want from this, but for me I have noticed a massive difference. fingers are firmly crossed that I don't get AF in the next 2 days and instead get a BFP on wednesday!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote redtulip Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 June 2013 at 6:48am
Hi emsbet... glad you found us - you can definately feel safe to ask/share as much as you like here   

OOOOH Vine, Wednesday as in tomorrow Wednesday lol??!!! FX very tightly for you!
5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote a.girl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 June 2013 at 7:11am
Welcome Ems and Vineyard! Sorry for your loss, but it's good to have you here to share with us. Vineyard, that's interesting about the old blood and the acupuncturist.

Well...I think AF came this morning. It's what I'm hoping anyway, rather than retained product of an infection. 22 day after my mc and only 12 days of no spotting/bleeding in between. Weird! I wouldn't think it was so strange except that my HCG was 45 only 1 week ago - a few day LP??? I did have a big temp drop to coincide with it all.

Good luck Vine for the BFP!!!!
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