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AandCsmum
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Topic: Chemo & radiation Posted: 24 March 2009 at 11:10pm |
Can someone please tell me that if a person is having Chemo & then they are going to follow up with Radiation that they have cancer & a pretty serious case at that?
I don't think we are getting the full story somehow.
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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jack_&_charli
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Posted: 24 March 2009 at 11:38pm |
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monikah
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Posted: 25 March 2009 at 8:27am |
i can be pretty standard precedure to have both. generally chemo wipes out all cells and only the healthy ones re-grow and radiation is more targeted as to what it kills. anything that needs treatment is scary but the amount of chemo or the amount of radiation will normally determine how aggresive they are being as opposed to what kinds of treatments. i know both treatments can also be used for things other than cancer too so its really hard to give any clues as to whats going on. i dont know the situation at all so im sorry im not much help but the doctor will def be the best person to talk to since there are so many possibilities. all i can say is big hugs. our family has done the cancer thing many times no so i know whatever you are going through it must be really hard 
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fire_engine
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Posted: 25 March 2009 at 9:13am |
Like Monikah said, it can be pretty common. E.g. with Breast cancer, you may have chemo to have a general attack on the cancer, then radation on the tumour so that it becomes small enough to cut out. The two work differently and complement each other.
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 25 March 2009 at 9:54am |
Don't worry about the hugs....I'm not upset about it, just trying to find out info for DH as what she told me is completely different to what she told him. All I know it's somewhere in the lower back & that her hair is falling out.
Wonder if I can find out the name of her Dr & phone them but I doubt they'd give out the info.
MIL is off my Xmas list now. I took a beautiful picture of the kids & got it enlarged & framed. It was delivered yesterday & we have had to phone them this morning to check that they actually recieved it as I was starting to think maybe it went to the wrong address. So much for the thanks for cheering up my day.
Thanks Flisty. That helps understand a little but she's not telling anything to anyone by the sounds of it.
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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fire_engine
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Posted: 25 March 2009 at 10:22am |
Charming
If it's lower back, then it's probably chemo to kill the cancer and radiation to help manage the pain. Back cancers are horrible (OK - not that any cancer isn't) but they can be incredibly painful and radiation is good for managing that.
And no, her doctor won't give you any information.
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 25 March 2009 at 2:58pm |
My dad had both, and also radiation for pain management. He was unable to be operated on, his tumour was inoperable. They can only have it a few times for pain, tho.
The best place for advice and answers in regards to treatments is the cancer society, thye are really good at explaing the whats and whys and in laymans terms.
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The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 25 March 2009 at 5:50pm |
Well I found out. I used DH's phone & sent the sister who lives in the same town a very blunt text message and asked straight out if she had the big C & that we needed to know. She got back to us a while later & she has Leukemia (sp) stage 1 so apparently quite managable in the scheme of things. So a hell of a lot different to what we've been lead to believe! She's already had 3 rounds of chemo & is about to start 4 weeks of radiation so I'd say she's know exactly what she's had for at least 3 or 4 weeks!
C is 9 weeks & I know she was in hospital for the first time the same few days I was in so it's been a while. DH is understandably extremely pissed off that he's been kept in the dark.
Off to google & see what I can find out!
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 25 March 2009 at 10:26pm |
Not sure what your situation is etc, but just thought I would share this.
My parents didn't rell me my dad had cancer as I was pregnat, he had had it for a long time, and only told me when I was about half way thorugh, then they fudged the seriousness of it, it wasn't untill the day I had Jake I actaully found out how sick he was, and that it was inoperable and no hope, really.
I was pretty pissed at them for lying to me and telling me one thing and my husband another thing (and mad at him too) but they had their reasons and its a pretty huge deal to be faced with your own mortality like that.
I don't think cancer is ever "not" serious, tho, but there are stages and one is alot easier than 3 or 4, but still a pretty big deal.
I have to admit if I had any form of cancer I would probably be writing my funeral eulogy and preparing to die, no matter what the outcome, to be fair, cancer and death sentance usually come in the same sentance, although sometimes interspaced with dosen't have to be. But it is, really. You get it, you often die from it, even 20 years down the track. Must be very frightening to have it, as there is never a "mild case" only a caught in time case.
Whatever has gone on, I am sure hasn't been done to hurt you deliberatley. People act strange and hurtfully and weird when faced with their own demise. I have lost about 5 members of my immediate family to this scourge in the last 10 years, so seen some weird ass behaviour.
I hope you guys can get some clear answers so you can all figure out your own way to cope witht hsi scary time in your life, which is made even harder since you are in the throws of joy with your new baby!
Sorry, not meant to sound like a lecture, either...
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 25 March 2009 at 11:07pm |
Weeks ago I was trying to get information out of her about what was possibly wrong with her. She was still undergoing tests at this point I think or she already knew. I would say that by not telling us that she is actually trying to deny what happening to her, you know that head in sand trick.
I managed to get some information out of her & she said please don't tell DH this. So of course I got straight off the phone & said she told me this. It was completely different to what he'd been told.
She has said each time she's spoken to DH that she'd like to meet her new grandson, we were like well they dont work so why can't they come down. If she's just said what she had we would have been up to see her weeks ago.
She has always been cagey about things. So this is not out of the norm. We don't know any of the medical history of his side of the family. We found out via DH's bro's wife that she'd already had Cervical C about 8 years ago, we weren't told. It would be something that you should share especially when she has granddaughters. I know these things are hard to talk about but surely you should have the best interests of your family at heart?
I can understand why you weren't told incase you lost your bub & I'd say that your Dad would not have like to be the cause of that. But I can understand that you were annoyed to be kept in the dark.
I get the feeling if we hadn't have pushed for answers we would have never got them.
I would have thought that we might have heard from them tonight but no call. I'd say she can't face talking to him about it as she'd get upset.
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 26 March 2009 at 1:50pm |
God, that sucks! Talk about head in the sand!
And boo hiss about not giving anyone a heads up on the cervical thing!!!
We went through this with Dad, right up until about the day before he died. He wouldn't tell anyone anything, but 3 weeks before he died, I became his power of atterney, (at 34 very stressed out weeks pregnant with baby #2) so I was able to find out stuff and fill people in on the quiet. It was bloody hard, as alot of people thought he had finished work due to an accident (which he had, but they found the cancer during an xray becasue he was having alot of pain) And one brother had been told different to the other. Bloody hard.
She should have defiantely been up front with you guys, esp. in terms of travelling to see baby etc. Dad was scared to visit us (up to here from CHCH) as he was scared of getting sick or passing stuff on to baby, esp after treatment as their immune system is compromised a bit and its not to flash for them to have had radiation then hold a new baby not long after, so she may be scared of that. Certainly sounds very head in the sand.
Hugs to you, it is such a difficult and all emcompassing postion to be in, especially with a young family!
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The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 26 March 2009 at 4:20pm |
Ohh I didn't know that Annie! How long after Radiation is it ok for them to hold a baby? No she wouldn't know that, would never think to ask. She has been dropping major hints that she wants to meet him. I am more inclined to go up there now know what she has but still means DH & DD will have to have time off work & school & it's not as if we can afford it.
I'd like to know what DH is truely feeling cause at the moment he's still very angry he was basically brushed off.
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 30 March 2009 at 10:58am |
I'm not too sure, but to be honest, I'm fairly sure it would be a straight after thing? I also know my dad had really bad burns after radiation and couldn't bear to be touched or stuff. Like I said before, the Cancer Society was for sure the best source of easy to understand answers that haven't got confused or lost in translation... someitmes older (like our parents) people tend to hear only what the want to hear (good or bad) in regards to this type of thign.
I hope your DH feels better soon, I really understand how he feels, and for you too, as you are trying to keep it it all together for everyone, and you probably need a big hug too. xxxx
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NandC
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Posted: 30 March 2009 at 6:56pm |
Hi Guys
I'm a Radiation Therapist and thought I'd put my 2 cents in here!
There is absolutely NO PROBLEM with someone holding bubs after having Radiation Therapy - once the machine switches off all the Radiation is gone - its just like having an X-ray - no danger to bubs or anyone else. As far as burns etc go - everyone is different and it depends on what area of the body is being treated and whether it is treating for pain relief or for a cure, but a lot of people go through with hardly any problems.
Having chemo and following up with Radiation is pretty standard for stage 1 Leukaemias - again everyone is different tho!
As for her not telling you - I know exactly how frustrating that is - my MIL was in hospital for 3 weeks recently and didnt tell anyone because she "didnt want to worry us"... grrrr - although she is very much a head in the sand person - doesnt ask the Dr any questions just says for them to do whatever they need to do!
I second the Cancer Society comment - they are awesome.
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 30 March 2009 at 8:30pm |
Thanks NandC
Will let DH know & then he can decide if he wants us to go up. I know I should see her cause she's sick but MIL is not my most favourite person in the world.
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 30 March 2009 at 10:35pm |
Thanks NandC I was told a load of bollocks by my folks, then and to be honest, I didn't question them, lol. Another "excuse" and translating to hear something different. Grrr, blardy parents!
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 31 March 2009 at 9:37am |
Well surprise surprise she sent a booklet on what she has.
Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma put out by the Leukaemia & Blood foundation.
Off to read it now
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 31 March 2009 at 2:07pm |
Thats good she has sent you a booklet, hope you get some answers! Thinking of you.
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