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Snappy 
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Joined: 27 August 2007
Location: lower hutt
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 Topic: Help!
Posted: 09 June 2009 at 12:53pm |
Does anyone know who you see if your child has behaviour problems? Is it a child psychiatrist?
Janaya is really hard work at the moment, this morning I had a meltdown 
She is refusing to go to the toilet and is having lots of accidents as shes constipated. I feel so frustrated because if she doesnt go she will have accidents at school, and the kids will make fun of her  She thinks Im mean for telling to her to go to the toilet, all we ask is five mins and it usually ends in her screaming the house down and refusing to even stay on the toilet. Same with showering, she refuses to hop in the shower and really makes a debate about everything.
I am just concerned as she seems really angry, she was even trying to rip her hair out the other night and her screaming is so loud and out of control. The neighbours must think we are murdering her. It happens daily and its hard work when I am trying to calm her down and shes got her hands over her ears. The worst thing is she didnt even say goodbye to me this morning and gave me a dirty look, all because I had asked her to go to the toilet. I have tried star charts and reward charts, we just taken her fish tank off her and she really just doesnt care about consequences at all!
Anyway, does anyone have any advice? Who can help us with her?
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Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz.
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monikah
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Joined: 30 March 2008
Location: Wellington
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Posted: 09 June 2009 at 2:34pm |
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maybe ring the you GP and see what he suggests, they generally have a good all round idea of who you can go to for almost every problem. on top of that there may be other stuff you could get her checked out for. thyroid conditions, glands, hormones etc.. can all have an effect on behaviour. that may not be much but hopefully its a starting point, it may also cost you less to see a child pysch if you are referred by a doctor.
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jem
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Joined: 13 February 2009
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Posted: 09 June 2009 at 6:56pm |
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yeah i would say start at your GP as well. hope things settle down for you soon
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Glow
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Joined: 19 February 2007
Location: Waikato
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Posted: 09 June 2009 at 7:33pm |
you could get your gp to refer you to a paedatrician to ascertain weather it is solely behaviour
you could get your school to bring in the RTLB (Resource, teaching, learning & behaviour) you can also self refer & can find them in the phone book in the blue section under Ministry of Ed.
CAFS (child, adolecent, family, service) is another org based out of hospitals to assist with behaviour management & assesments
HTH & brings peace to your household soon 
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Mummy of Two Boys
B: 2004
K: 2007
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ellen
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Joined: 02 July 2007
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Posted: 09 June 2009 at 7:39pm |
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Poor you!
Your GP sounds like a good start as they might also be able to help out with the constipation which will solve you having to fight with her about it. I would also talk to her teacher (you probably have already) to see if she's displaying the same behaviours at school - they may also be able to refer you to someone?
Easier said than done but I would be inclined not to fight the toilet/shower thing. Maybe discussing it with her when it's not an issue for her and coming to a compromise (eg showers/bath every 2nd day and her choice of shower gel, etc). Not sure of her age so don't know how appropriate that suggestion is?
I hope you find some sort of relief as I know how difficult it is to reason with an aggressive child and how easy it is to spiral into a lose-lose battle.
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Bizzy
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 10 June 2009 at 10:11am |
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my was born in nov 03 so not quite the same age but i can see the start of some of those behaviours in him too. i think they get to a point where they dont like to be told to do things. maybe you will just have to take a back seat to the toileting thing...i know that sometimes if i suggest or remind as opposed to tell or insist it goes down better... and maybe if her friends or school mates start telling her she stinks or needs to go to the toilet she will take more notice of them... (when gabriel first started school i would pack spare undies and a plastic bag in his school bag, maybe you could do that too). unfortunately if she sees that hair pulling gets a reaction from you it may make her use it against you more often so perhaps an ignoring approach might work.
(i have a boy who slams doors and packs tanties at the smallest silliest things including wanting to walk home instead of take the car! he cried and screamed all the way home virtually the other week.)
anyyway i second the gp as your first step.
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 10 June 2009 at 5:15pm |
Only advice I have hun is to go to your GP and see what they suggest, they may end up referring you and Janaya to a child psychologist, Caitlyn had toileting issues and she was referred to one .
I don't have much advice sorry , but couldn't read and run , poor you , sounds very challenging, and sounds like you need a great big hug , so im sending you one 
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Snappy
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Joined: 27 August 2007
Location: lower hutt
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Posted: 11 June 2009 at 9:55am |
Thanks for all your advice ladies (ive only just got on here!)
I went to see the head of the Junior dept on Tues, she said she would have a chat to Janaya and put her thinking cap on. Janaya is "perfect" at school.
Anyway, Janaya came home yesterday and told me all about her little chat with the teacher, and that she had spent almost the whole day with her. She has a journal which she has to write down all of her angry thoughts, instead of yelling them at me. Last night was the best night we've had in ages  Really hope thats all we needed.
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Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz.
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Daizy
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Posted: 11 June 2009 at 11:11am |
Yay!
Hope she keeps it up!!
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JoJames
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Joined: 11 August 2008
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Posted: 12 June 2009 at 5:51pm |
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Thats great that her teacher is so good. Hope this solves it.
One other thing would be talking to the teacher about getting the public health nurse attached to your school involved, as they can come see her at home and school and give you advice as to where to go for help.
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Help!
