missed miscarriage - any info?

hi i am a newbie but am hoping someone knows more about this than i do....

i had a scan on tues which should have been a 10 week one but they told us the baby was only 6 weeks in size and there was no heartbeat. optimistic us, we didn't freak out straight away as DD was small, and there was lots of stress over her small size in my third trimester however she is 2 yrs old now and healthy :) also with her 1st scan at 7.5 weeks we saw no heartbeat which we were led to think was normal, and we heard one a few weeks later at the next scan. but the look on the scan lady's face told us otherwise this time and she said it was bad news and the baby was not alive.

my doctor called and explained all about a missed miscarriage to us - which i had never heard of - and referred us to a hospital clinic for friday (today) to get a 'tablet' if i hadn't miscarried spontaneously.

i had no spotting or cramps before the scan, but now have had brownish spotting on and off maybe once a day for the last 3 days and a grumbly, pre-period type feeling occassionally. i keep thinking 'this is it' but then it all stops again.

my question is this - my midwife (who i trust alot), my doctor and the ultrasound lady all led me to expect that these days the management of a missed m/c is the tablet that causes you to m/c. however when i went to the hospital clinic today they were very reluctant to give it to me and wanted me to wait longer for a natural m/c to happen. out of confusion i agreed to wait over the weekend and see if i spontaneously m/c -obviously the preferred option i guess - and then they suggested a scan monday to double check the baby has def not grown (!!) and there is no heartbeat, and if not then they will give me the tablet. apparently d&c is their last option and they really advise against it.

does anyone have any experience with any of this? if you waited, how long did it take for you to m/c naturally and was it really painful? and if you took the medication, was it horrendous and did you have to stay overnight in hospital (this is why they are telling me to wait for it to happen naturally)? our problem is we have no family here and our 3 closest family friends are ALL on holiday overseas so we have no one to look after DD if the medication requires ages in hospital with me going through a labour and needing DH. again this was what the doc at the clinic today suggested would happen.

i am usually a bit of a nature girl and would way rather things just took their course, but was worried about infection/damage from waiting too long if it did not just happen by itself. when i asked the doc how long to wait for a natural m/c to happen in light of the fact that it seemed as if my mucus plug was coming out of the cervix she looked very thoughtful and called her consultant....none of this made me feel like she had dealt with this alot and hence my questions to all you ladies who have been through this and might have some answers for me.

thankyou and sorry for such a long post. so much in my brain and no one to tell!

Edited by pikaboo

With my first m/c, I had the tablet as a D&C would most likely have caused more harm than good. I took 2 tablets at the same time, under the watchful eye of my gyn, and later that afternoon started bleeding and cramping - it was very much like a heavy period. I didn't have to spend the night in hospital at all, I just went home and made myself comfortable with a wheatie and Nurofen. However, we don't know how far along I was, as my HCG levels stayed stagnant and didn't go up or down. I had been on the pill at the time of conception.

I hope things work out for you. M/c sucks.

I had a natural mc with my first missed mc, i was 11 and half weeks by date but bubs was measuring around 6 weeks. I think i started spotting on the day of the scan and started heavily bleeding about 5 days later. The mc itself was quite heavy and painful, but painkillers helped.

My second missed mc again at 11 and a bit weeks, baby measuring 6, i had a DC the day after my scan. It was rushed through because my first mc ended up with me having a transfusion due to excessive blood loss.

I think i would prefer the natural option if i was to mc again as it meant there was no wait to try again. I think with the DC they say wait at least one cycle.

I didn't consider taking the tablets to start things as i was already spotting and assumed that things were starting on there own.

hi all and thankyou for taking the time to write your thoughts and support....i really appreciate hearing from you. i am sorry for all your losses too - i guess like most things it really is something that you cannot fully understand until you have been through it yourself. your comments regarding the pain make me feel as if i will cope, which sadly is not what the hospital doc made me feel like.

i had a reasonable amount of bleeding and cramping last night and thought (again) that it would happen - however only half a pad of blood and none again today, so it is happening slowly. maybe that is normal? i just don't know what to expect in terms of how many days it can stretch over, i imagine it is different for everyone. as i have endometriosis, my periods are normally very heavy and quite crampy - and so far what i have experienced is nothing like even a light period for me - which makes me wonder all the time if this is the start of the actual m/c or not.

if this is the case and it continues stop-start all weekend should i keep my scan and gyn appointment for monday? no longer to see if the baby has grown as i feel there has been too much bleeding and clots passed for any chance of that - but maybe they can see how much has come away/is still yet to come? or is that uneccessary and only needs to be done at a later date if at all? the hospital is over and hour away and DH's boss is not best pleased about him taking all this extra time off, so if what is happening to me is what happens naturally then i would prefer to stay home and curl up on the sofa with a packet of timtams....

oh well i still have the rest of today (sat) and sunday for things to happen. thanks for the vent

thankyou kebakat....yes prob a good idea to keep the scan appointment. DH's boss can just be in a huff if he wants to....

and thanks for the info in the tablet. it makes it less scary knowing someone who took it and was ok, like yourself and minik8e.

my sympathies for your losses too. it sounds as though you have had is very rough indeed my mum had a stillborn inbetween my brother and i and i am only starting to realise why i was the treasured miracle baby of the family. my thoughts are with you too.

thankyou JHS....I am glad I read this before it all happened, it was less of a suprise for me.

i had a natural m/c saturday night - from around 8pm I had 'contractions' very much like the 1st stages of early labour. it was strange that it was all in my back (just like it was with DD) and they were very regular....it was too depressing to time them but i did a few and they were every 2mins. I passed the sac whole at 1:30am after feeling a very slight urge to push (or more like a feeling that i should stop resisting what was trying to pass) and had much lesser 'contractions' regularly for another couple of hours with blood and clots passing.

i am glad i had read it could be like this as the hospital suggested it would be like a bad period with clots the size of a 50c piece, and while i'm sure this is the case for some it was not mine. the sac I passed was around 5cm long - which would have been a huge suprise had I not read on the internet that this can happen. we will bury the little sac and tiny one inside on the same beach headland that DD's placenta is buried by her birth tree.

apart from lots of bleeding that has been it....except for today I have had the lower back and front cramps along with increased bleeding. also i feel for the last week that near the top of my right ribcage is sharp pain that is worse when i bend over. like a hernia, but i have no idea how i would have got that. anyway, all in all it is probably time for a wee trip to my gp to get the once over .

so thankyou again everyone who replied and sent good thoughts. it is inspiring to see your little tickers with expected bundles of joy

i too had a missed mc. found out at my scan on 10th july 09 when i was 10 wk 4 days.bub only measured 9 wk 6 days with no heartbeat or bloodflow visible.

i had a d&c on the 14 july as nothing had happened naturally.

still waiting for af to arrive but have decided to wait till next yr to try again.