Husband’s and partners

Just wondering how interested your husband and/or partner is in having children?

For me the TTC obviously involves quite a lot of emotional and technical stuff. I am 35 and feel the pressure of time vs fertility. I have always wanted children, so for me TTC it is something big and consuming.

However, I doubt it is as complex an issue for my DH - he will just be happy when/if it happens. Sigh...

Hey Petal
Me too on the time pressure. I got pregnant with Nathan when I stopped obsessing and using OPK's etc last time....and yet I am starting all that again as I feel I need to be super proactive as the clock is ticking loudly (just turned 37
My DF is supportive but also very laid back.....it will happen, it will be ok...etc

Dh is really into the whole thing. i dont always tells him everything but if i do chose to tell him he is really interested. i had a really really dark OPK yesterday and me and DH both were so uninterested in BDing but he knew about my OPK so pretty much said that we would make sure we do BD and he'll let me sleep in this morning. lol. he really wants another baby so wehn im tired and unmotivated he keeps me going. i think DH's are better at seeing the big picture.

Oh that is so good to know Icegirl, my DH is a bit detatched about it all,
I talked to him last night about it and he said he is just playing the macho male stereo type. I tried to tell him most men in the TTC situation are alittle more involved that what he is (he has no clue, and thinking Im obsessing and all) he just rolled over and went to sleep. Last PG it took him 2 weeks to start to get him a little excited, but then we MC, he has said next time when I give birth he will get excited. No offence to him, but I hope its a little bit earlier than that, I need him to be excited with me. So I hope once he goes to the scan he will loosen up a little...

yeah i hear you mrsg1 if it were up to him we would bd about twice a week max!

i know he wants a bubs as bad as me but his laid back attitiude comes in handy when AF arrives....one of us has to look at the big picture and not get bogged down with all the emotion!

most of the time he is pretty spportive

I personally think as women we tend to over think things and men tend to under think things. It probably isn't as much of a dire need for him but the fact that he's agreed to try is really positive. I honestly believe when it comes to men they don't switch into baby mode until that baby is out and placed in his arms for the first time. My man always wanted kids under 30 where as I wanted them over 30 lol. We weren't trying but ended up pregnant when I was 22 and Jess was 26 he was happy as that was what he always wanted but he certainly never got emotional during pregnancy. Even when the girls started kicking he seemed slightly detached. Don't get me wrong he was great to me (back rubs every night even) but he just wasn't on the emotional rollercoaster I was. I often worried that maybe he was scared or was afraid to tell me he didn't want the babies. However as soon as Hazel & Esme arrived he was so excited, practically bouncing off the walls and has turned into the most hands on and caring Dad.

I wouldn't let it get to you. You'll be amazed at the transformation in him when he finally see's your baby for the first time. Theres nothing sweeter than a man with giant hands holding a little baby with a massive grin on his face and a tear in his eye. In fact maybe he just doesn't want you to see how big a deal it is to him in case it doesn't happen or takes a while. Maybe he doesn't want to put the added pressure of his wants and needs on you because he knows stress will just make it harder to conceive.

Good to know i'm not alone i really feel that Dh is on the fence on this one too.

I just thought I would update my post... DH is amazing, he is way more into the pregnancy now that I am PG (after playing the staunch macho male role while TTC). He has come with me to the Dr (even sat in the room! Didnt do that last time!) Come with me everytime for my BTs (didnt do that last time either!), hes actually talking about this bubba like its a baby (I thought he would hold of making plans till at least the 12 week mark) but its really cool!! Hes still not into buying stuff, but I have talked him into going into a baby store! and agreed that some stuff was cute even!
Sorry, i guess the point of my post is that even when you know them really well, they can still surprise you!

***sprinkles baby dust on the way out***

I fully expected him to be not that interested, but he has honestly surprised me, its so nice!! I know its still early days and I dont know how he will take it if we MC again (But we arnt going to! Positive thinking!) but in the mean time its so lovely having him so excited and interested in it all

My DH was really laid back about the whole TTC thing - I never told him when I was ovulating or anything (but he says he knew, he peeked at my charts when I wasn't looking LOL) and it was just "if it happens, it happens". Even when I was pg he wasn't that into it, until he could really feel the girls kicking, and played with them (this was mid to late second trimester). He was fantastic to me later on in the pregnancy, as I was finding it difficult to do a lot. Then the girls arrived at 33w4d and everything changed - he practically lived up the hospital for the first week and did anything and everything that he possibly could for the girls (which wasn't much because they were in incubators). Even from the second week until we came home last Friday, he went to work through the day and came straight up to the hospital every night until about 10.30pm, and was always hands on and just doted on the girls - and does even more now that we are home.

I guess in all my ramblings, I'm just trying to say that Lisa is pretty much right!!!