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Forum LockedInvitations to kids birthday’s

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sunnyhoney View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 January 2010 at 10:48pm
I didn't think I would have this issue for quite a few years. I am wondering though, if I am over-reacting a bit?

One of Joy's friends from coffee group had a birthday party this weekend to which other children from coffee group were invited to, but not Joy. This child was invited and came to Joy's party a couple of months ago. I can't help but feel a bit put out....and sad and disappointed for Joy. I wonder why she wasn't invited?

How would you feel if this happened to your kids???
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Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
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caitlynsmygirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caitlynsmygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2010 at 12:09am
it has happened to my girl , and I felt bad for her ,course you do , as parents we think our children are the best kids ever and the idea that they wouldn't be invited somewhere is baffling ,and seeing their little souls being disappointed is heartbreaking for a mother .
Some people may say its rude , but if you are feeling really down about it, maybe just be straight up with the mum and ask her if there is some sort of issue you weren't aware of, she may have simply over looked your invitation , I know i've done that before, forgotten to invite kids .
( or friends,to like, my wedding ....and then I text them a week later telling them off for not coming , oops !)

Now that C is at school , there are plenty of birthdays she doesn't get invited too , but lifes like that, I tell her , there will be parties you don't get asked to , but it just means you have to make sure you have twice as much fun at the parties you do go to.


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Peanut View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peanut Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2010 at 7:20am
To put another spin on it.

My DS was invited to a party of a boy from his DC. He went but I didn't invite him to DS birthday as limited my numbers - so maybe they are on a budget and could only invite a few.

DS was also invited to a coffee group party and there was only him and another wee girl from coffee group invited. She atually said that she was embrassed that she couldn't invite everyone but that her wee boy got on best with these 2...I didn't think they did but hey!
       
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sunnyhoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sunnyhoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2010 at 10:44am
Originally posted by caitlynsmygirl caitlynsmygirl wrote:


Now that C is at school , there are plenty of birthdays she doesn't get invited too , but lifes like that, I tell her , there will be parties you don't get asked to , but it just means you have to make sure you have twice as much fun at the parties you do go to.


Right now Joy is completely oblivious to the situation but what a good way to explain it for when she is older, thanks!

Yep I had thought about the budget scenario....but couldn't help but wonder if there might have been another reason. I won't approach the mum coz I don't want to make her feel bad or make things weird between us (a see her quite a lot during a normal week), so I guess I'll never know the reason.
Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
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pepsi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pepsi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2010 at 12:44pm
I would tend to look at it as a numbers/budget thing...and possibly even a space thing depending on where the party was held. As much as your kids may like each other, and you get on well with the mum.. the mum could have closer friends (perhaps she has known longer), with kids the same age that are more at the top of the list iykwim?

Perhaps if you're talking to her next you could ask how the party went, and she may even voluntarily offer up a reason to explain why she couldn't invite your child.
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kellie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kellie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2010 at 1:31pm
I guess it also depends on how many other people from your coffee group were invited. If everyone else was, then you are probally not overreacting
If it really bothers you, bring it up casually with the mother in question.

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ElfsMum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ElfsMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2010 at 6:46pm
i think it would bother me.. (not sure if it's cause I'm pregnant and hormonal) but i prob would be bothered anyway.. but then our coffee group is quite small..

I guess if your children get on very well i would wonder but i guess if you will never know best to just think of it as a budget thing as above.
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Maya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2010 at 7:51pm
I'd probably feel a bit disappointed too Sunnyhoney - it's not nice to see your child being excluded from something, even if there's a perfectly legitimate reason like budget etc. I think all mums worry about their kids being socially accepted and making friends etc.

We were on the reverse side of the dilemma last year - Maya wanted to have her birthday party at Rainbow's End so I had to strictly limit the number of friends she could invite. She's got a friend who has been at every one of her birthday parties so far, even her first, but she decided not to invite him coz "he's a boy" . I did give the mum a call tho and explain the situation so she wouldn't feel that they were being left out for some other reason.
Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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jaz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jaz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2010 at 9:09pm
It is probably a numbers/budget/space issue. Yeah, I would feel bad, but at least she is at an age where she is unaware of it. Once school starts its hard because they are aware that other kids were invited but not them. I wouldn't mention it to the mother.
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