Kind of rant - endo (and possibly TMI)

I'm sorry, I just need to get it out or I'm going to lose the plot.

I am in such a huge deal of pain that I'm in tears. It affects my bowel movements. I sit here and have to try so darned hard not to cry. I have gone through 2 super tampons in 3 and a half hours. I have a doctor's appointment at 3pm to try and sort something out for management. Am I going to have to go through this every fricking month???? I just can't handle it, I'm a flipping MESS!!! And I'm going home from work for the second month in a row because of it, and it just completely and utterly bites. I am over it.

Not to remove it no, well, not that I'm aware of. Only the lap when they told me that I had it nearly a year ago, however the pain has got so bad it's almost unbearable which is significantly worse than before I had the lap. At least at home I can curl into a ball with a wheat bag and not feel so bad about spending hours on the loo (sorry TMI). I sit here at work and have to try so hard not to cry, not so good when you need to concentrate. I mean, I have pain most of the month, but when AF actually arrives....it makes me want to tell the doctor to take the whole lot out and to he** with kids or whatever, I don't want to live like this.

I'm staggered they didn't take it out while they were in there Kate Did they tell you what grade endo it is and where it's centered? (ie. perhaps they didn't take it out because they need a bowel specialist or something like that) You need to get it out asap - talk to your Dr about your options for excision. Your symptoms etc may not completely disappear, but it's better than 'living' as you are!

When did you have the lap?

I didn't really get told jack all after my op - they did a number of things while they were in there, including checking a large cyst on one of my ovaries (which also feels like it has come back, and possibly another on my left ovary) and LLETZ treatment, and check that the miscarriage I had was complete. The only thing they told me is to have children now, or at least as soon as I could, because I'm most likely going to have to have it all out afterwards. No pressure there LOL Thankfully I have a very understanding manager and colleagues. And DP and I are planning to TTC at the end of the year....but that's still 8 months away.

I have an appt at 3.15pm this afternoon at the doctor. I'm at home now, I kind of lost it at work and just had to leave, in tears and ready to throw myself on the floor and scream and shout and have a fullblown temper tantrum.

ETA: I am sitting here at home shaking, I am so friggin mad and *&$%*^(!%(#@%(#@. I know I'm not the only one who suffers and by god, I am so angry at whoever invented this stupid disease because it's just not flaming fair.

Edited by minik8e

Does endo cause miscarriages then - in the sense that your body rejects the baby?

No kidding, most of the info I have is from here, and the endo site. Maybe this doc will be more help with info and plans. I don't seem to have trouble conceiving, more holding on to babes.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was something that could be done that was guaranteed to have long term effectiveness. It's just not fair to have this stupid thing.

Doc appt went well. Am now on Nurofen, Panadol and Acupan for the pain (I didn't want codeine), and have started on Noriday (mini pill). I have to keep a diary of pain for 2 cycles, then go back to the doc and get a referral to the gyn up at the hospital to take further steps. Taranaki has a major shortage of gyn/obs - 3 have resigned, leaving just 1 for the entire district, so waiting lists are huuuuuge unfortunately . But we have a short term plan, medium terms plan and long term plan (the ob/gyn). It's a start.

I had a rough day today too. I am aching so much and I've been kinda grumpy tonight (DH is staying clear!). I couldn't wait til the end of work today, I just feel so down about it all. I've tried all the 'diet' restrictions (well, nearly) and nothing makes much difference. Certainly not to the pain. It's horrible. I haven't been in so much pain since I started on the Pill in December. I just want it over with.

On the brighter side, at lunch time I went to Countdown and got myself panadol, bananas, and chocolate. A BIG chocolate. Stuff the watching the diet thing LOL!

Ginger, I thought you'd had a lap? Has yours come back so soon?

busymum - huge . That's just where you get to isn't it - you just want it over with. I was in such a state the other day that I just wanted to tell the doc to take the whole bloody lot out, I didn't care anymore, cos it isn't living when you're like that. And grumpy...hrmmm, yeah, grumpy happens. I apologised to the girls at work when I got back, put it that way, and had to apologise to one of our brokers that I emailed on Monday before going home For the pain, why not see if there's something more the doc can give you? That's what did it for me in the end, I couldn't do the pain anymore. I won't take codeine based painkillers, because I go doolally, but there are other options (for me, a mix of 3).

And it was mini pill rather than combined because of some other health issues. Also, apparently with the mini pill, the effects of IBS don't interfere with it so much (upset stomach etc.) As it is, we are rethinking when to TTC, just to try and deal with it - I really don't want to have surgery again unless it's unavoidable, as I have had a major surgery twice in the last 10 months, and the recovery time (for me) is not good, especially as I'm not eligible for sick leave again until November as I used mine after my last surgery in November.

I hope you're feeling slightly better today though. Once my drugs kicked in it wasn't so bad, although I still have constant pain.

I'm on Panadol, Nurofen, and one called Acupan...although if we plan to TTC sooner rather than later this may have to be reviewed, as it's not recommended. Voltaren and Nurofen are similar I think - they call them NSAIDS, which is basically an anti-inflammatory. I can't find anything that says not to use them while TTC, only not late in pregnancy.

Yeah, mine were always painful, the last two have been a right kick in the guts. And I would love to be pg too, but it's got to be a joint decision and it's still under discussion at the moment!!! Hehehe