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Shezamumof3 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 May 2008 at 12:50pm
Read this...

http://www.nbc10.com/news/16364150/detail.html

What would you do if someone left you a card asking this?

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nikkitheknitter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nikkitheknitter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 12:57pm
I think that is terribly rude.

Maybe if they had gotten into a discussion with her whereby she expressed an intention to adopt out her child. But otherwise... potentially traumatic for the pregnant woman.
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MrsMojo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsMojo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:00pm
OMG. "They haven't had any negative response from handing out cards." So they've handed out several?!

I think it's so presumptious of them to assume that a pregnant waitress may want/need to adopt out a baby (IMO it assumes that she isn't in a steady relationship and that the pregnancy is unplanned or unwanted). If I were her I'd be very angry.

But then at the same time I really feel for this couple who are obviously very desperate to have a child of their own.

I think it's sad that abortion is encouraged instead of adoption nowadays and people who can't have their own children are driven to try desperate measures to find a baby for adoption while others can nonchalantly get knocked up and terminate. Then again I don't want to live in a "get pregnant just to sell the baby to the highest bidder" kind of world either.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AliaDawn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:07pm
How creepy... why can't they just go through adopting a kid the right way???

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nikkitheknitter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nikkitheknitter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:07pm
Originally posted by MrsMojo MrsMojo wrote:


I think it's sad that abortion is encouraged instead of adoption nowadays


I have never, ever, heard abortion encouraged instead of adoption.

Sorry, but that really distresses me.
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cuppatea View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cuppatea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:15pm
You should read australian cosmo then cos they pretty much promote abortion as a form of contraceptive, its totally disgusting and the reason I stopped by their mag.

But back to the topic, its a bit presumptious to assume that just because someone is a waitress they are having a baby they didn't plan or want.

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MrsMojo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsMojo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:21pm
Originally posted by nikkiwhyte nikkiwhyte wrote:


I have never, ever, heard abortion encouraged instead of adoption.

Sorry, but that really distresses me.


When my little sis (who was 17) got pregnant I took her to family planning to have her HPT confirmed and when she got BFP there the first thing the woman suggested was abortion as if at 17yo my sis had no other options.

Mind you that was 8.5 years ago and just one woman so I guess 'encouraged' isn't the right word to use although the point I was trying to get across is that it does seem that many women who have unplanned pregnancies use abortion instead of adoption.

Eta: My sis has a beautiful nearly 8yo daughter now.

p.s. no need to apologise, I still love you (but disagree with me again and it's over )

Edited by MrsMojo
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nikkitheknitter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nikkitheknitter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:24pm
I did use abortion instead of adoption so I TOTALLY get that. I didn't think I could deal with the thought that my "baby" was out there and I had abandoned her. I felt that terminating when I did was more of an elimination of the "what if"

Family planning's official line is not to encourage one over the other but to present options. I have talked with the Chief Exec on this quite a bit.



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MrsMojo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsMojo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:27pm
Originally posted by nikkiwhyte nikkiwhyte wrote:

Family planning's official line is not to encourage one over the other but to present options.


Unfortunately the companies official line and what individual staff members promote are not always the same.
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nikkitheknitter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nikkitheknitter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:30pm
Originally posted by MrrsMojo MrrsMojo wrote:

p.s. no need to apologise, I still love you (but disagree with me again and it's over )


heeeehehehehe

And yes, I agree that sometimes the company line doesn't filter down.

Excuse me for jumping to FP's defence... I'm just never gonna let go of that place
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MummyFreckle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MummyFreckle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:34pm

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/topic/story.cfm?c_id=1500906&objectid=10510244

Thought this might add to the conversation.

 

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caraMel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caraMel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:43pm
Hmm, I think that is a really risky thing to do, to assume that a young pregnant woman would be interested in adopting her child to you. So many women could be really offended by that. It is really heartbreaking that the couple are that desperate though.


RE: Abortion promotion
When I was first pregnant with Ella I went to an A&E to get the pregnancy confirmed and was given a long talk about the process of termination because I said that the pregnancy was unplanned.
Then when I went for the dating scan a few days later the sonographer took me aside on my way to the toilet afterward and gave me a similar talk.
I think both people were just trying to make me feel unjudged if I were thinking about it, which is great IMO (although not so great when I was absolutely bursting for a wee after the scan!), but it is a little sad that no one said a word to me about the possibility of adoption as an alternative at all because I imagine that it is just as scary to come to terms with the idea of that as it is to be considering termination.
Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:

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MrsMojo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsMojo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:46pm
Thanks for the link SimSam. Being pro-life (incase you hadn't already figured that one out for yourselves) I'm really pleased to see adoption being actively encouraged as an alternative.
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nikkitheknitter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nikkitheknitter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:46pm
I had the opposite.

When I was pregnant with Hannah I considered termination my first option and was given more information on adoption and keeping the kiddo than the other way around.
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MrsMojo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsMojo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 1:50pm
It's good to hear that other options where discussed when you were preg too Nikki.

I think there's probably been a bit of a turnaround in recent years.

I remember a friend of a friend wanting to adopt about 5 years ago and at the time the stats were that only 20 children had been up for adoption the previous year (though not sure if that was the official stat or just a figure they plucked from thin air).
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nikkitheknitter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nikkitheknitter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 2:01pm
20 seems awfully low but I do know that the number of adoptions has definitely been decreasing.

As the article has said, the increase in social welfare and ease of access to terminations.

I consider the access to terminations a good thing but not the increase in number. I would prefer it if there were no unplanned pregnancies in the first place! I know that I would have suffered a whoooole lot less trauma if I had been able to choose the timing of my pregnancy. That'll teach me for having sex huh?.... or not.

ETA "the timing of"

Edited by nikkiwhyte
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Jay_R View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jay_R Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 2:05pm
Actually, it was 9 adoptions in 2006... not sure about last year.

My mum is the Team Leader for Adoption Services in the Central Region.

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nikkitheknitter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nikkitheknitter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 2:10pm
Woah really? That low??
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Jay_R View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jay_R Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 2:16pm
Yep.


Shocking to think that there were almost 18,000 abortions for the same year.


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nikkitheknitter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nikkitheknitter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2008 at 2:24pm
How come from the article linked above there is a quote saying 87?

    
Originally posted by wrote:

Christchurch GP Dr Hilary Cleland said women with crisis pregnancies were stressed and termination seemed like a quick solution to their situation at the time.

"With only 87 (adoptions) happening in 2006, there's going to be a huge surplus of potential adoptive families out there. A lot of them would be great parents."


Edited by nikkiwhyte
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