Arrgh Houseguests and smoking

ok, so my parents have moved up here, as it is my Dad's dying wish to be here when he dies. We moved them up about 3 weeks ago, and found them a flat to move into before we went and got them, as we wanted to know there would be an end in sight as to how long they were staying with us..(they are hard work, my Dad is a grump and my mother talks NON FRICKEN STOP) Anyhow, they can't move into the flat until Dec 22nd, so it has been 3 weeks with extra house guests, although Dad has spent a week inthe hospice. Anyhow, I digress. They are both heavy smokers (yep, even with Dad dying of lung cancer) I'm talking about 3 or 4 in an hour,and they REEK of smoke all the time, it is quite repulsive. Our garage stinks to high heaven with all their smokey belongings in there, I have all the baby gear in there, as our house is packed to the gills, so I am going to have to wash (again) car seat covers etc. AAARRRGGGHHH. The thing is, they smoke outside, but because they are both such heavy smokers and smell of it so bad, our house stinks now as well, even with heavy doses of febreeze and all windows open all day. The furniture is starting to smell, and it is EMBARRASSING. Also, they keep leaving the tin out with all their filthy butts and ash, and jacob keeps getting into it and eating it. Ihave gone off about that a couple of times. I love them dearly, and am happy to be able to help them out, but the stench is driving me NUTS. Rod hates it as well, but luckily, we have only had a couple of rows about it, I thought we might have split up by now, lol! Also, my mum follows me around and TALKS non stop, including talking for the cat, dog, and Jacob. AAARRRGGGHHH VENT VENT VENT RANT RANT RANT, counting down the sleeps!!

Edited by jacobsmama

Oh you poor darling .

OMG sounds like my mother in law
she smokes like a train, and stinks, but then she goes and sprays so much perfume on ehrself (an it smells worse than the cigarettes) prefume does not disguise the smell of smoke, so I told her she was NOT allowed to pick up Haleigh smelling of smoke, as I hate picking up my daughter after her grandmother holds her and she stinks of smoke. My parents smoke but they would never hold Haleigh without freshening up first, neither does ANthan.
I kow how you feel, it isnt nice, and it is hard to say something when its your own family (I can tell MIL till the cows come home and she still doesnt listen to me).
Not long now, then you can start getitng your place back to a ncie smoke free smell again.

ha ha thanks guys! Rod and I locked ourselves in the bathroom tonight to "bath Jake" and had a wee bitch and moan and cuddle since we have both done so well with not loosing it!! The big thing today has been how LOUD mum is!!!!!!! We are both fairly quiet (sort of..) but mum talks non stop on volume 10 !!! Ah well, not tlong to go now!!!

Well, the end of this story goes like this.

My Dad passed away in the hospice on saturday, dec 23, at 10.20pm. I had just gone home and got into bed (literally, it was 10 mins since I left)when mum rang and said come back quick. He died while I was on my way back. Thankfully, it was very, very quick and very peaceful, he went in his sleep. He had gone into the hospice after going down hill VERY very quickly on the friday. He had a couple of incontinent episodes, and needed mum and myself to fully carry him into the shower. We had the Dr out at home on friday lunchtime, who thought Dad had had a mini stroke after a fall he had early hours on thursday morning, and the DR and our palliative care nurse thought maybe he should go back into hospice for a couple of days observation, home on Xmas eve. He was ok when we took him in on friday afternoon, a little quiet and very weak, but ok. We moved their gear and got set up in their new house (YAY!!) saturday, mum went to the hospice a couple of times, but he was asleep. I went down at 5pm with Jacob, he had been awake, as when I arrived, the nurse was helping him toilet, when I went into his room, though, he had drifted off to sleep again. He woke briefly when I called his name, gave Jake 2 kisses, and went off to sleep again. I don't know if he really registered we were there. We left after about 10 minutes of stoking his head, his hair had turned a brilliant dark red colour, he had been a very blondie red before hand. On the way back to the car, one of the nurses stopped me and said she thought he was coming into the final stages, that push was about to come to shove. I agreed with her, but said I hoped he made it to Xmas day, to which she replied, well, there are no gaurantees. Mum came around home in a great panic at 5.45pm saying they had just rung her and told her she should let anyone who wanted to see him before he went know, as they didnt think he would last too much longer. Apparently he had gone downhill so much since their shift started at 4pm, they thought it was wise. We rung my CHCH brother, who hopped straight into his car, and we went down to the hospice. He was asleep when we arrived, but woke very agitated, wanting to go to the loo, but not fully understanding about the catheter they had just fitted. The nurses gave him some muscle relaxant and some morphine, which made him agiated, he was holding our hands and saying "My Girls" and blowing kisses at mum. He went to sleep after about 10 minutes, and was very peaceful. We sat with him until I got very tired at around ten to ten. Mum promised to ring if there was any change, which she did about 10 past ten. When I arrived at the hospice, one of the nurses caught me on my way to his room, and held me and said he had gone 2 minutes before, and it was very peaceful. He hadn't woken up at all, they had been putting an IV site in his arm, when they noticed his pulse was very fiant and they thought that he was almost gone, which is when mum rang me. In the end, it was very peaceful, and he had gone in his sleep, which is what we all wanted for him, and it was fast, too. It would have been awful if he had carried on like that for days.

We carried on with christmas, which is what he would have wanted, of course, it wasn't the same, but we had to do it for the kids. We had a nice day, though, but it didn't feel like chrissy.

Still all feels a little surreal at the moment, and I am dreading all the family dramas with my brother between now and friday, which is when we are having the funeral.

Wow that is amazing and sad all at the same time. So sorry to hear it all happened right before Christmas though

Annie, hugs to you.

Oh Annie. I was with my grandfather when he died at the hospice and I know it is very rough. I'm glad to hear it was peaceful and sounds very "nice" if you get my drift!. Big hugs to you and your family at this difficult time.

sorry to hear of your dad's death.