"You’re so lucky..."

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have had comments about Spencers sleeping but we (me in particular) have worked really hard to ensure that good routines have been put in place and bad habits have not been formed. He was not born a good sleeper he was a terrible sleeper as most people on here probably now because I called out for help more than once. We went to the plunket family centre and a sleep seminar. Behaviour is taught and learnt.

You are not lucky with it, it is earnt and you are rewarded.

Ah yes the "lucky" line ... I laugh at it .. most good things dont come to you in life by pure 'luck' ... they are worked for ... nice car ... worked for ... overseas trip ... worked for ... well behaved children .. worked for ... they didnt just happen by a stroke of luck!

"oh youre lucky" ...

Yes Im blessed ... But Ive earnt it!

It's a hard one. I find myself saying that although I don't actually MEAN lucky perse. My little one was soooooooooooooo unsettled for the first 10mths of her life no no obvious reason (i.e. we worked our butts off to do everything "right" but she was still a grizzler) so I would look at other settled babies and say "you're so lucky / blessed to have such a settled kid". I know luck has nothing to do with it but it's just a way of saying, wow, what a happy little bundle you have. I defintely try not to say it though as I can imagine how annoying it'd be.

Argh, we get that too, luck doesn't really play too mucha part as much as consistency and temperament of the child. It might take a bit more coaxing to get one child to learn good behaviour more than the other one but that's because you have to take into account you're reminding 2 now instead of just 1, and also each child has a different attitude and temperament.

And i must say Aimmee - even if your second one isnt' the angel.. as long as you keep firm you mostly do get through things anyway because that's the style of parenting. Ayja is far more of a terror in some ways but only because she has that curious streak mixed with a spirited michievious flair, and yes the terrible 2 tantrums are coming thick and fast and yes we are finding her more of a challenge, but at the end of the day - we go to funerals, we go to xmas parties and she sticks near us, doesn't run away and sits quietly when needed to. She had that guff a month ago where she got into stuff, we just stuck with what we always have - The side is back on her cot for her safety really and to catch back up on sleep.

It does take a fair amount of work and there's plenty of times where we still actually don't expect her to behave as well as she does.. (even went to the extent of writing her name and our cell phone number when we went to the xmas party in case she ran away and got lost)just goes to show (annoyingly enough) that even when we think she isn't listening, she is... she just doesn't do it all the time at home.

The thing is, gentle reminders and easy to understand explanations for why this is good and this behaviour isn't.. will go far further than "don't do that!" "hurry up and do this!".. because eventually they learn that inner control themselves. I've always found that with my big sister's kids, she's always just barked orders at them.. and now they are in their early teens and STILL needing a blow by blow account of directions to get them out the door each morning. It drives me bonkers when they stay because I have to give them all these directions when my kids know the routine and just go do it.

Edited by mum2paris

lol i know i wrote it and posted and thought "god i don't write often but i always write alot!"

I must admit when it comes to sleeping we have been very 'lucky' with our girls- both have been really good sleepers with little effort on our part. I think its more about credit where its due- the people who are saying the lucky line to us are people who put in no effort themselves, but think that even though we put in a huge effort its just luck that shes good. If they were putting in a huge effort (even if it wasn't the same style as what we do) and it wasn't paying off then I don't think it would bother me.

For instance she has a really lovely clean tidy home- shes really good at putting colours together and works hard keeping the place clean. I wouldn't think to say she is lucky for having a clean house- shes lucky that she has a tidy DH, mine is a pig hence why my house is never as immaculate as theirs!

Edited by Jennz

It drives me nuts too. On Sunday night i'm sure I was told at least 10 times by different people that I was so lucky that Andrew was so well behaved while I was playing in a concert. It was luck, he knows to sit down with the person he is sitting with (that night a family friend) and that they are the person he has to answer to while I play.

Then back at the band rooms he sat down on the chair I gave him with his glass of coke and just sat there talking to me while I ran the bar. There I got the comment you are so lucky that he is sitting there as other peoples children (older children as well) ran riot and were general pains in the butt.

Its not luck Andrew has been taught to be that way. It has take a lot of work.

And the comment about the second that drove me nuts. Hello 2 very different people. I know I have been blessed with good sleepers its not luck I was blessed.

I agree with your there Fiona about the word being used so loosely.

Lol, I have the oppostie, when people ask about her AI say rah rah she is great, we are so lucky, and they always say things like - oh no, you must be doing wonderful things/doing something right/working hard etc.

Nah, we are just lucky, cos she is a happy smiley baby like I was! Now, she could have taken after her father, that wouldn't have been lucky at all!

I'm with Fiona... I say 'lucky' I don't actually mean it. Maybe I should just think more about what comes out of my mouth... though that seems like wayyyyyy too much effort. I don't actually believe in luck!