Pros & Cons

Until you have a child, it's so hard to understand just how rewarding it is to nurture another person and watch them grow.
Each milestone they reach is a personal celebration - without me, my daughter wouldn't be here to reach those stepping stones towards a full life.
The 1st smile you get melts your heart and is forever imprinted in your mind.
It's given me a wonderful opportunity to create a valuable, contributing member of society.
My parents delight in the chance it has given them to be involved with a baby again for the 1st time in more than 25 years, my mum especially loves being able to help and cuddle and shop for my daughter. This is thier 1st grandchild.
My partner now views me in a different light - as the mother of his child. Even at my hormonal worst he felt so close to me while I was carrying "his" baby.
I always thought I'd hate being tied down but if anything motherhood has given me the chance for huge personal growth.

We are in the same boat as you dana i too turned 30 last year DH is 45 so we really can't wait for too long. i know that there will never be a right time for bub but i think you hit the nail on the head about being afraid of the unknown i know that there will be plenty of support avaliable to us from our families.

Oh yeah and Dana best of luck with everythuing with bub wishing you a speedy labour when the time comes. Goish it seems like only yesterday you were busy planning your wedding.

Being a DINK was the best & we were "lucky" to get preg by accident as in all honesty we would have never gotten around to having kids and then gone Whoops!

5 years on & we certainly dont' regret it at all, it did change our lives, only thing I'd do differently now is take off more time when she was younger which I am getting the chance to do with this one

While bubs is still young you still go out to coffee shops etc, as they grow you just change what you do slightly...takeaway coffee at the park We still go to restaurants, we just take more stuff along with us to occupy Alia.

I certainly wouldn't do a pro's & con's list.

I was wondering if you were the same Sweatpea from weddings.co.nz LOL. I was going to ask but didn't want to assume

In all honesty chick, just go for it. Kel is right, don't bother with Pro and Cons lists. I don't think I would have ever gotten married if I'd done that LOL (just kidding, DH is a sweetheart).

Lots of mums have healthy bubs into and past their 30s but the risks do go up for Downs etc. The chances are still very small but this had an impact on us deciding to get pg when we did. Funny thing was, looks like I got knocked up on my wedding night lol. We only decided to start TTC on the way back home a week after the wedding. I was already pg

Mum2Sam wrote: [ Although, I would give a considerable amount of money to go to the bathroom by myself again and not have a helper putting loo paper in bowl while I am sitting on it!!!

lol Ella does this way, and also tries to help by closing the toilet lid and flush the toilet while i am on the toilet.

 

But seriously it is all totally worth it (although at the moment all I really want is a decent nights sleep)- just seeing how quickly they grow and how proud they are of doing something for the first (or 2nd or 3rd.) time. Also makes you appreciate the little things in life and gives you a chance to enjoy your childhood all over again (good excuse to play in the playground).

I was clucky for a year before I fell preggers. DH said he will let me know when it's the right time but then things just sort of fell into place & we thought this makes sense (DH wouldn't quite agree with the last statement, maybe a bit of bullying went on re. right time but it was!!! lol).

We had just renovated the house, had some money saved, had our last holiday abroad... and we wanted 2 bubs before I was 30.

Little did I know I would end up with 2 at once, had huge complications & had to end work at 18wks, BUT now we can't think of anything in life more satisfying. We both love being parents & babies are so much fun - hard work but you don't think of it as 'work' as you know it.

I bet you if I wrote a similar list I'd have on the con's "no more romantic dinners... no more waking at 11am on the weekend... no more holidays..." BUT I don't care about those because I have 2 amazing babies who mean way more to me than any con I could put on the list.
And don't think those cons exist (except the sleep-in's maybe) because you can actually still do thos things, just have to be more organised.

Don't write the list, you can never fully write down how much a baby can bring to your life & relationship.

hhmmmm I manage going to the toilet alone, I just lock the door, hehe! I always said thats one thing I at least wanted to do ALONE! DD knows thats the way it's always been so she's pretty good.

Life does change, we're constantly busy and dont really get to relax until DD is in bed whereas before kids we'd kinda come home from work, chill out casually make dinner and relax. Now it's all about routine otherwise nothing would get done, lol

The thing with writing a pro and con list before you have children, is you haven't yet experienced having children yet to know what the P&C's are.  And you would probably have a longer Con list - but the Pro's outway the Con's!

 

I say that the love you have for your child - is like nothing you have felt before - and a love you won't find anywhere else! 

 

My children are the funniest people I know.  They make me laugh everyday, and in the most unlikely instance. 

 

I'm constantly tired, but I'm never tired of my children.

 

I say, just go with your heart's desire.  Don't worry about the list.

Sweetpea, I'm not yet a mum, and we'll be ttc this year too. I'm 35 and dh is 33, so not young by any means.

I finally felt really ready at the end of last year, when I changed jobs and am now working with 2 mothers and 1 to be - and realised that there's nothing else I want to do.

We've got the house, got married and it only seems right to have a family. I do worry about the money, but figure if the going gets tough I can always go back to work or get a part time job, like every other mother I seem to know.

I stopped the pill, last week and while I'm more nervous about getting preggers first go, I'm also looking forward to having a new life that Dh and I have created.

I've yet to meet anyone who has regretted becoming a parent.

I'm another one who hasn't had children yet but I've always wanted them (wanted to have them all by 30!) but my DH took some convincing. So we got married, bought a house, waited until we were settled in the house, waited until we were both in good stable jobs etc etc. Then we made the decision to TTC (and no all the children and babies at the Christmas party had nothing to do with it! lol). Anyway that was 2 years ago now and during that time I've had plenty of 2nd thoughts. When I've got home late and haven't had time to go to the gym - I've though if I don't have time to do everything I need/want to do now what's it going to be like when I have kids. A couple of weeks when I was doing the budget and I thought what are we going to do without my income and with a baby to pay for? But when it all comes down to it, it doesn't matter when we do it we're still going to have the same issues and considering I'm almost 30 and DH is getting closer to 40 and we both want kids. For me I've never thought about doing a pros and cons list, but now that I do think about it I don't think we could do one - simply because while we can imagine how hard it is and what a joy it is we simply don't know and can't ever know until we've done it. At the same time I think you both have to be totally sure its what you want so you don't end up because I think taht wishing you'd waited a bit longer can be just as bad as wishing you'd started earlier.