he doesnt think it will ever happen

To you and DH......

aaahhhh noodle. dont be too hard on him, i remember writing something very similar to feeling that in my diary before we had kids. i felt i had given up - but your right it is a form of protection.

oh noodle!! i hate that it is such a hard road for some women to conceive. it's just not fair! i'm glad your DH has confided in you how he's feeling

i hope your TTC journey is over very soon and the clomid works. my sil has been TTC#2 for 3yrs and was told in march that they will never be able to again (#1 was a miracle)....she's just found out she's expecting!

Lana

oh thanks heaps guys you are all so lovely! and very supportive.
I do feel alot better knowing that it is all out in the open now and we can talk about it honestly now. And you are right kirsty we did need to and have sat down and decided on our plan of attack and at the same time we said we have to remember to have other things going on in our lives so TTC and infertility isn't all consuming   

Hey had similar chats with my Dh, although he blames himself and is gutted when as each month rolls around AF is back ...
But have to draw strength from the fact that you are together and much in love and take time out from all the infert stuff to have some fun...
Go do something silly or romantic or both...
We go for long walks with our mutties and talk about the things we will do if we cant have kids, or book a private spa pool at somewhere like Te Aroha mineral pools and just blob out together

Hi Noodle

That's so hard. I know just how you feel; my DH has said a few times that he things we should stop trying, but then he changes his mind again. But I've decided that if it doesn't happen by the end of the year, then I'll give up; it's just too hard emotionally and we'll have run out of options anyway. We're going to try IUI in a couple of months - just having 2 more months of intense preparation to maximise the chances - then have 4 goes at IUI ... then that's it, time to come to terms with it.   our ages are also against us (I'll be 42 in Aug, DH is 45) and I feel there just comes a time (for me) to admit it ain't gonna happen. Of course everyone's situation is different, and I have to take responsibility cos I knew DH had had a vasectomy when we got together 8 years ago, but I thought he'd just have a reversal and everything would be fine, (boy was I wrong!)mthen we had some family crises which also got in the way of ttc, etc... But f*** it's hard!!!
I respect all of you that talk about not giving up hope - and of course I really hope it does work out for all of you. but I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that it probably won't work out for us, and maybe that isn't the end of the world; I just have to hang on to the positive things th emost important of whcih is DH.
Noodle, sorry this has turned into a ramble about me! I really just want to say that I feel for both you and DH.

aaawww im sorry you are both having a hard time my DH had a hard time dealing with it all when we were TTC#2 for 15 months and would often say to me just before we were about to doze off that he really wanted another bubs which made me feel terrible cos i knew that it was the problem .

My SIL was told that she would never have any kids cos she had a 7kg! tumour (benign SP?) removed when she was 18 and they had to remove one overy and one tube and the other 2 of each were extremely damaged!! plus her partner had a very low sperm count and only has one ball (sorry TMI!) BUT...1 year later she concieved her daughter by accident!! and has had 2 more whoopsys! (a boy and a girl - 3 in 3 years!) since then so ended up having to get her tubes tied! so i think there is hope even when your told that theres not much.

Hang in there hun

Hey Noodle - i just wanted to give you a .

It does suck doesnt it. I think its so hard when you see your partner sad as its usually us females that are more emotional about these things.

Chin up though. You both cant give up. I know its been awhile but there is still hope for you.

I went to a Infertility Seminar at FA and I found it quite helpful as they explained the treatments and lots of statistics. I knew a bit before I went but my DH didnt and he found it really helpful - just to understand treatments and processes etc. FA run these seminars for free. You just need to call them and register for the next one.

I know its hard as we tried for 22 mths before it just happened and I still pinch myself thinking its not true. It can be so disheartening but there is a good chance it will happen one day one way or another.

Lots of baby dust to you

hey noodle,
my sister has problems with her ovaries, went through 4 MC's and years of trying and finally IVF which failed twice, and she was ready to give up too, and now her baby girl is due any day now!
so it can happen, never give your dreams up and i hope it all happens for you honey