Advice please

dont worry about upsetting other people. you and bub are more important.
i found personally that i didnt mind the visitors in the hopsital...it is harder when they all turn up at your place. an dif they come to the hopsital the nurses will kick them out if they think you arent coping.
But what i did with my second was send out an email and told people when i would be available for visiting and if they were coming when i was home to bring lunch..

IMO most friends would actually not be too miffed at that idea because, parents or not, everyone seems to have the rough idea that new mum with baby = tired.

Anyway, when I had Hannah she was born via c/s and I was exhausted, low in blood (and iron), and I felt that the visitors we had were too much. The biggest prob was that my DH couldn't be there much (couldn't take time off work) and visitors at hospital tend to over-stay or piggy-back (one person leaves as the next person arrives, x3) and it's hard to send them away if you're tired or want privacy for feeding etc. The worst for me was when I woke up one afternoon to see my MIL and her SIL at the foot of my bed, waiting!

When I had #3 I didn't want many visitors and I let a few people know that. And in the 48 hours I was there I was only visited by my parents and my in-laws - and I was bored! Most of it was because I had recovered so much better (ie hadn't had surgery or lost as much blood) and wasn't as tired. A baby doesn't need much bonding time at first because s/he only sleeps and feeds - although it's nice to have privacy for that.

But... it is nicer to have ppl visit at hospital instead of at home so that you don't feel obliged to make drinks and tidy floors and get dressed...

As for how to deal with it, when we had Briona (#2) I went straight home because the ward was full, and we put out a message to our family and friends saying that she was born and here's all the details, home safe and well but please no visitors this week. Or something like that. It's best to judge it at the time but doesn't hurt to have a plan. "Short visits", "Afternoon visits only" or "No visitors until the 3rd day" etc are good things to consider.

yep, I would go visitors at hospital and then ask nicely if they could give you a couple of weeks to settle in with baby.

i got so mad when i was in hospital, within 1hr of having sarah we had my mum & aunt(which was ok) then had the inlaws including there partners who stayed around forever!!!!!!! i was so tired and starving and just wanted everyone to go away

this time its definatly going to be limited to hubby , my mum and sarah everyone else can just wait

I found visitors at the hopsital are easier to manange than the ones that come home. I had issues with visitors when I had Andrew as most of DH's family worked at the hospital and had access into the ward so would come and go as they please. It pi$$ed me off so we got a sign put on the door saying something along the lines of "we are resting please leave us alone". Do you think my FIL read it NO!!! and walked in and I was in the middle of getting dressed. He made sure the next time he came with the MIL and that she went into the room first. If you have trouble with the visitors just get the staff to help you. Get your Dh to go and get the nurse to come in and say "have to leave now I have to check scar/stitches/bleeding etc. That should clear the room.

I think I will let people come visit me in the hospital as most of my friends and family are quite considerate and will not want to out stay their welcome. When I get home and for the first couple of weeks I will only let visitors come when DP is going to be there aswell. That way if I need to feed bubs I can go and do it in the bedroom and he can "entertain" the guests.

Yep I agree - visitors in hospital is much easier than at home! If you are in the middle of feeding then ask them to wait in the waiting room. I found with my first I wanted visitors otherwise I was sitting there twiddling my thumbs & I was only in hospital a day after having him. And it was nice that people cared so much they wanted to visit. It was mostly family but a few close friends as well.

Although I had another close friend turn up the day I got home about 8pm!!! WAY to late for visitors! I wouldn't let that happen again.

being home was easy, just let the phone go to the answer phone and limiting the visitors was easy, and also due to it being over christmas alot of people were away and buisy .
i usually text my friends and say congrats then wait a few days before phoning or texting

Almost ditto nzpiper. My parents are in Levin and in-laws in Auckland. We don't really have room for rellies at our place, so have told them they can't stay with us. Will probably encourage the in-laws to visit after Christmas too (bubs due late Nov). My mum will probably be round for the birth though. But, then again all the fam are pretty considerate and I know that I have the strength/whatever to tell them to please come back later.

Be strong people - its your time Others will have to wait their turn.

ive told hubby no visitors for 24hrs, especially as he has a very big family and there the kind who will just "convieniently" turn up and wont leave for ages