QuoteReplyTopic: Best friend with repeated miscarriages Posted: 20 August 2007 at 2:26pm
Hi
I hope no-one minds me jumping in here with a different type of question.
My best friend had a stillborn baby at 25 weeks a few years ago, and has since had a healthy baby. This year, she has had 2 miscarriages (her 3rd m/c in total - also another one 8 years ago).
I am 29 weeks pregnant, and this is putting a strain on our friendship. She doesn't live near me, so doesn't have to see me all the time, but it is obviously hard for her to talk about my pregnancy. To make things worse, my baby is due at the same time her stillborn was born, and will be a similar age to what one of babies she m/c'd this year would have been.
We have got to the point where I don't say anything about my pregancy and she barely asks. This is really unnatural - we are close friends and have shared all the things in our lives for about 10 years.
Anyway, I was hoping you girls might be able to offer some insight about how you feel about your friends who are pregnant, or be able to help me to understand how she might be feeling, and what I can do to help improve the situation?
Thats really sad. Ive had a similar thing, with my first baby my sister was due the same week, she lost hers at 9 weeks and i carried full term. Then when i was pregnant with my second (twins) my sister in law was due the same week but I miscarried at 10 weeks and she went to term and her daughter was born on my due date. She has now just had another baby only a week after my twins were due so its kind of weird.
Its hard and you do think about these the babies that could have/should have been but your friend shouldnt let it come between your friendship. I know i felt awkward with my sister, avoided talking about my pregnancy etc... but then when the shoe was on the other foot I hated for my SIL to avoid talking about it, it almost made it more of an issue while i was trying to quietly grieve in private.
Not sure how to handle it really sorry, no wonderful words of advice but is there any possibility you could bring the issue out into the open and tell her how your feeling?
Thanks my2angels. You are right about needing to bringing it out into the open - I'll just have to choose my moment well. I think the most recent m/c is too new at the moment...
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Best friend with repeated miscarriages
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