Interesting article....

yer it is very interesting, cant say ive had probs as all my friends have kids as well.

At the risk of getting attacked by all you mummies.......I will express how I personally feel as a NON Mama (Keeping in mind this is MY opinion)

I find it an interesting topic.
One that I have thought about often and for awhile....

My friends all have children and I do not, but DH and I are trying our butts off to get pregnant!

While I am happy for my friends and love their little ones (two being our God children), I love looking after them, helping out when I can etc, it does get a bit ‘much.’

I have always considered myself a very loyal friend to those I love (Pre, during & Post pregnancy)and I still do, but I sometimes feel the slightest of urge to just blurt out "SO, ANYWAY, what else is new!?"

I understand to some people that seems rude but it really gets boring. Full stop. I find it boring. Hearing about children and their every moves, noises etc is fine for the first 2 hours but sometimes being asked how 'your' day was can be nice in return.

E.G. I spent my Christmas holidays with two of my oldest friends and their partners and babies which we enjoyed.
But not one hour went by when they weren't discussing nappies, dummies, formulas, food & even POOS! I nearly hurled, they had a diagram of different types of poo out and were discussing potty training! DH and I left soon after!
While I understand to the, this is an normal every day discussion, its kind of rough to hear when you have not experienced such things yet.

Another thing that irks me is when I try to make suggestions. After sitting for an hour hearing about why their baby won’t sleep, if I dare try to suggest something I get the “Your not a Mum, you don’t understand look!” So it becomes a pretty one-sided convo with me, Umming and ahhing my way through it.

I never EXPECT that they can come out all night etc and always attempt to plan quiet girls get togethers well in advance to they can organise their partners to look after the kids.

I guess what I am trying to say that in my case, I am in my eyes VERY tolerant of my Mummy friends and sometimes wonder why I never get the same in return???

I understand a baby demands 100% of your time, esp in the early days but that’s not really any reason for you to drop off the face of the planet and not return calls etc.
And no I wasn’t one of those annoying people who called every two minutes from the moment you stepped in the door. I was very aware of the time and space they needed but not returning any calls or messages is just plain rude.

This opinion could of course ALL change when our bubba comes along! Ha!


Edited by Parki

Thats interesting because I find the only time my friends do talk to me is when they want to know about birth, pregnancy and babies - Kind of like thats my specialty now and I know nothing else.


Whats with the comment about parents being selfish?! I wish I had the time to be selfish!! Raising a human being is a very demanding. important and rewarding job.

I tend to ignore the 'comments' section of articles as generally the responses are not all that intelligent. I was focusing more on the article itself.

miss wrote: I think frienships do change And if you are a mum who doesn't ask about work etc when with friends, and only talk about the baby, then you are either a bit of a lousy friend (or maybe you always were) or your friends aren't even trying to share their lives!

I think friendships shape and grow regardless of babies and mother hood..
And id' have to agree with your statement about lousy friends. I liken it to (and i use this as an example becasue its the biggest thing to happen in my life so far in this type of respect) Getting married and planning a wedding. You think about your big day all the time and plan meticulously.. Somtimes you forget that not everyone is as excited about your big day as you are and you need ot take the time to understnad that your friends have things going on too and it takes only a few mins to make them feel important to you.

Edited by almostthere

I understand that new Mums probably hate the question "So what else is new?" - Hence the fact I have never said it out loud!
I also think this is what probably causes the initial gap between new mums and old friends.

The non mama feels like there is nothing else to talk about but the baby or watch their friend with the baby.

Teh new Mum feels liek this baby is all they really care about right now and as it is their new career, being a Mum, doesn't really have much to talk about in teh way of other things, which is totally understandable.

Hence the drift beginning........Non-mama not wanting to visit or call as much due to having few things to talk about and Mama not having time to call or even think too much about the friendship due to being so busy and before either of you know it the gap is bigger and it becomes easier to just leave it than to make it better.

Im just generally speaking here.......

I guess it's just a reality of life that over time friendships drift apart for various reasons and this happens to be one of them.. If the friendship isn't strong enough to get through the child years then maybe it wasn't that important to begin with?