Stress and Worry

Not sure where to post this.

Prior to having Elle I was a very level headed, calm and rational person. Not overly analytical and just generally happy and positive. VERY rational.

Elle was so unsettled and that hardest thing of all was that there seemed to be no support...I was like no-one believed us. I frequently received comments like "you're just imaginging it" "all babies grizzle....get over it" "you give her too much attention" or "you don't give her enough" or "she is stressed because you are".

I still feel very isolated and those comments still hurt. Crazy huh.

All of those statements are probably true of all of us from time to time but I know they weren't the root problem. As you know, my daughter was oversensitive and very unhappy for a long time. All I wanted / want is for her to be happy.

Now, 18mths down the track, the lack of support and stress is taking it's toll. I KNOW I can cope with ANYTHING as I always have...nothing is insurmountable. BUT I am really struggling. I find small things e.g. if Elle skips a nap make me feel overwelmed and stressed inside. I have far less patience and coping skills than I used to.

A few times lately I've been awake for half the night worrying, wondering and crying. This is so not me.

A lot of the time I'm still very happy, albeit exhausted from my insomnia / Elle's night wakings but I feel like it doesn't take much to send me into inner panic and stress.

I know Elle is a relatively "normal" (horrible word!) and happy kid BUT I just know something isn't quite right.   I'm not wanting to label her I just KNOW in my heart that something isn't right and something is still bothering her. I tell myself it'll be fine as basically all of us have some quirks and niggles and we adjust. I don't know what I am so scared of but something is making me fret. I don't know what it is that I am really truely worried about.

I'd prefer to stay away from anti-depressants if I can. Any thoughts about whether I just need a break or whether I need to address things more specifically? I keep thinking that when I have answers to what it is about Elle that's still not right I will be happy and able to move forward positively but I need to cope better between now and then.

WOW! Long sorry! I deal with this internally, I don't think it impacts on those around me yet or that they are even aware of it but I feel it is getting worse and soon it might start to manifest in more ways.

Eeeeek... anxiety. Not cool! I seem to get it when I leave home/Hannah.

Anyway, apparently taking St John's Wort is good - I think you can get tablets... or tea.

Do you take anything like rescue remedy for those anxious times?

I feel for ya Fiona!! xoxoxoxox

Hey Fiona,
I'm just getting back on top after my second big battle with anxiety, there's quite a few of us mamas who get it on here I think.
I've not been able to take meds yet either (the thought of taking them makes me anxious, seriously!) but I do use rescue remedy and was taking St John's Wart. I've also cut out caffeine and am trying to seriously cut down on sugar as they're both BIG contributors if you're having anxiety issues.
If you're feeling like you need some help to deal with it, a visit to your Doc would be helpful. Lots of them like to prescribe meds first but if you're sure you don't want to go down that road yet you can ask about referrals (or recommendations if you can afford to avoid the public system) for counsellors and cognitive therapists. I've found both really helpful.
Another agency I can recommend getting in touch with is the Phobic Trust. They offer lots of services and support and are really kind and helpful Ph 846-9776
Good luck Fiona, I hope things get better for you really quick. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it or if you have any questions

Cut out coffee! OMG! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! LOL

Sorry Mel! I was shattered that night and really stressed with work.

I've been taking on too much at work. I need to say no to big things (like tomorrow...teaching a whole bunch of managers for a whole day!) and stick to my normal duties.

I just try to do to much and do it all perfectly.

And yeah, I worry about Elle. Done the paed thing to no avail so I should just relax. And for the record I have searched myself and I'm not trying to put Elle in a box or label her...I just want to feel at peace that everything is ok.

LOL (Cara)mel, I was anxious about taking meds too teehee, we are a mad bunch!

Big hugs Fiona, I hate seeing you so stressed and miserable For what it's worth, in my humble opinion Elle seems to really be coming out of her shell in the past couple of months, she has changed a lot.

Don't underestimate how stressful the past 18 months have been for you, as well as all the adjustment to having a child, you've had all the tough unsettledness etc. to cope with and that's bound to take it's toll on you, I know I struggled to cope when the gremlins were shockers. Add in the stress of your m/c and it's not surprising you're feeling a bit on edge.

I agree with .Mel about talking to your DH, I'm sure (I hope!) he will be supportive if he knows how you are feeling and what you are going thru. And if you're not keen to go down the meds route then maybe talk to a naturopath about alternative treatments for anxiety coz it sounds like what you have is definitely anxiety rather than depression.

When it comes down to it tho, resorting to meds isn't a failure or a sign of weakness. I put off going back on meds for depression/anxiety as long as I possibly could until I eventually had an anxiety attack so severe i vomited from the adrenaline and then I realised I had completely lost the plot. And the meds really have helped me unbelievably much, I can actually function without panicking about every little thing.

More big hugs, you know where to find me if you need anything.

I swear by rescue remedy. I also get very anxious about lots of things to do with Brenna (her missing day naps is also a biggy for me!) I must admit that what has helped me is going to work and only doing what I have to there (easier said than done) but realising that she is fine without me and to see other people looking after her well. It also has given me other things to think about. I know everyone finds different ways to feel better and I hope you can too. Being anxious is such a scary feeling. Just remember that we are all here to listen anytime *hug*