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Redbedrock
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Location: Wellington, New Zealand
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Topic: Need to debreif Posted: 05 March 2008 at 1:05pm |
I have just had a very long MSN conversation with an old friend's 15yr old daughter. She is a sensible and intelligent girl who is well balanced and switched on. She wanted to tell me something for advice and asked me to promise not to tell her parents, I said it depended on what she told as to whether I would need to tell her parents.
Anyhoo, she has a facebook profile, and had a 32yr old man contact her through one of the applications wanting her to add him to MSN and wanted to meet her for sex, poor kid is sooo freaked out. So I did the talk to mum and dad, speak to a teacher, house mistress (she is at boarding school in the UK), etc. Hopefully i reassured her, she should be safe at school, their every move is monitored and she has a private profile so he can't get in touch with her again, except her school name is her group on facebook.
Summary is I have emailed Facebook admin to ask their advice about finding him, and H has agreed for me to ring her parents tonight (tomorrow mornign for them) to talk to them as she is scared to tell them and worry them. I have suggested she tell a close friend too so that she has a peer looking out for her around town.
I really needed to get this down in writing and purge it onto the page, but is there anything else I can do? I will ring A and B tonight and tell them what she told me, so that they can talk to her, I have saved the MSN conversation and told her that it may be suggested that she go to the police (just to prepare her) I am soo cross that this lovely girl is going through this. Facebook is meant to be fun but it is said that it opens her up to this sort of thing
Ok vent over, any thoughts
Thanks
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FionaS
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Joined: 17 April 2007
Location: Auckland
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 1:13pm |
Hugs! We know those things go on but when you know someone affected it is really scary.
You are amazing for taking the time to talk with her and for following through. It's so great she felt she could trust you.
Big hugs and well done! I hope it all gets sorted out soon. Grrr at that guy.
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Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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mummy_becks
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Joined: 01 January 1900
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 2:46pm |
OMG Far out that is a lot for her to be going through. My thoughts would be to delete her FB account and start again (if she can) and hopefully FB can help her out.
I know what you mean I use FB and Bebo to keep in touch with friends and family and there are psycho's out there using it for dirty reasons.
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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The_Stuarts
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 2:57pm |
That's awful for her but it sounds like you have suggested the best course of action. I hope she follows your advice.
I would particularly ensure that the school and matrons are aware of the situation because although H is obviously a very clued up young lady there may be other girls targeted who are vulnerable and don't feel that they have anyone to talk to about this sort of thing.
Have you heard back from facebook admin? What did they say?
Forgot to add well done. She is very lucky to have you to talk to.
Edited by The_Stuarts
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hailstones
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Location: Dunedin
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 4:02pm |
Thats awesome that she could come to you for help, and it sounds like you have taken the right steps to help her, but my gosh - how blimmin scary is that!!!
Be interesting to find out what FB have to say on the matter as well.
Like Becks my first thought would be to cancel account although that doesn't really help if this freak has all the information he needs already.
This is the main reason I have a bebo account (to keep an eye on my 13 year old sister) which makes me think yikes maybe I should go lurk through her account and see who she is talking to!
Poor girl! Must be finding it all very scary! And with good reason, there are some sick sick people out there. Good on her for asking for help! Hope you get it all sorted soon and they track down the loser!
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almostthere
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Location: Auckland
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 4:53pm |
Aw,how awful!!!
Face book is so evil
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Redbedrock
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 5:36pm |
Still not heard from Facebook apart from their generated response. It's night over there at the moment so I know H is sleeping in her dorm, the house mistress is really nice so hopefully H will talk to her tomorrow, but I think the ball will start rolling when I speak to alex tonight, he will get onto things. I was so releived when she agreed for me to speak to her parents, she was concerned as Alex has just had surgery and Bex has a chronic illness, she doesn't want to worry them, but they live on base not far away so will be able to see H tomorrow hopefully and get her some support and safety.
thanks for your replies tho, glad to have some support with this, normally would talk to Neil but he's in Tasmania at the moment
Jeez we didn't have any worries like this when I was 15, my biggest worry was getting the Limahl picture out of jackie that week to cover my maths book in, not sexual predators
Edited by Redbedrock
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AliaDawn
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Joined: 11 January 2008
Location: Petone, Wellington
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 6:01pm |
Ugh creeps. My cousin is such an idiot - her bebo profile has her phone number on it... I don't bother with those sites myself, but my little sister was showing me her page. At least she's smart enough to keep stupid things like personal details off it.
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busymum
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 6:53pm |
If she has put information like her town, school, last name on FB - ie that he knows - then I think she needs to tell the Police. All the best with her parents.
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Kels
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 7:44pm |
OMgosh that is sooo freaky alright. I always worry about those sorts of internet sites.
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Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Redbedrock
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Posted: 05 March 2008 at 7:50pm |
Just got off the phone from alex and he is going into the school to see her this morning and get the ball rolling. So releived she let me tell someone, it's such a long way away, if we were at home I could have gone to see her and helped her talk to people. I think i would have told them anyway, but at least I know she will talk to me in the future about things.
i did suggest that the police should be involved, you hear all these tales of kids being groomed online by perverts, just hope this is stoppe3d now
thanks guys
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