Does anyone have just 1 child?

Or is an only child themselves?

And if so, what are the good & bad points you've found?

Does the child get lonely? Is it a good enough reason to have a second child so the first will have a playmate? That sort of thing.

I'm just thinking outloud more more than anything (& this always happens after Liam has a terrible day . Bad Mummy).

Edited by sally belly

I was the only child in my whole extended family untill I was 8...and I hated it! I kept bugging mum to give me a brother....I finally got him at 8 but he was more like a baby tome then a play mate! I use to love feeding him...insist on bathing and changing him ...and so he was my baby too......Then I became a teenager and he was toddler and he bugged the ell out of me when I tried to be alone he wanted to play with me.......

I find that my DD gets lonely too and I am glad that she goes to day care and gets to play/share with other kids. When we get visitors at our place with kids....she goes NUTS!! laughing, playing....just going nuts because she has some one to play with.

I was always going to have two kids and so I am hoping that even tho there will be a 3 year gap they will learn to play together in a year or two!

And just like Jess I got spoilt alot at B/days and Xmas. As does my DD now as she is the only child in the family.

DH is an only child, but he was never lacking in playmates. His parents were friends with others who had kids his age, so he was never lonely.
In fact, I think he often wanted alone time - which still happens now. But that could be more of a personality trait than something he's learned IYKWIM.

His birthday is Xmas day, so while you'd think he'd get twice the presents, he wouldn't - not from his parents, anyway.
He is also the only child on his Dad's side of the family, so he was spoilt rotten by them, much to his parent's chagrin.

Having been an only child himself, he wants Hannah to have a sibling, but with a 3 year age gap, as he sees how well my sister and I (3 year age gap) get along, and always have.

I am an only child and it was lonely at times and I would have loved a brother or sister but there are up sides too. I have always been very independent and confidant and being with grown ups when I was a child didn't bother me. We got to go on really great holidays that would have been too expensive with 2+ children and Christmas and b'days were pretty good too ! I think that as long as there are other children for you wee man to play with around your area and he has lots of interation then being an only is not all bad.
Having said that I was keen to have more than one and my two are always so happy to see each other after they have been apart (for nap time or when DD1 is at creche) - long may that continue!

I think it all depends on how you bring the child up.

I am one of 2 and could not imagine life without my sister. We fought constantly, drove our parents nuts etc but at the end of the day there was always a playmate around and it also meant my parents could have a life without a 'third wheel' in their relationship. What I mean is, I see some of DH's cousins who are only children (and a lot younger so not close to their cousins) who are often treated as small adults cos they are always the only kid. That to me is really sad.

One of DH's cousins has just become a big brother at age 5 (they have been trying for #2 for 3 years with IVF) and hates it. He has been spoilt rotten all his life and even though he's been to daycare, he can't share, has no boundaries and is generally just a little sh*t. Another friend of ours was 2 years younger than me and used to get us into trouble for fun as he was bored all the time.

BUT.... both of those kids would turn out better if their parents were onto it. I think to be a parent of an only child you really have to make sure opportunities are available for your child to learn the things they usually would with a sibling, like sharing on a regular basis etc. If you can do that, then why would an only child be worse off than a child with siblings?

My friend has 3 kids, wanted 4 but couldn't have another, and said to me the other day that 2 is actually easier than one once you get over the initial stages as there's always a playmate. I think that probably applies in the later kiddies years than earlier on maybe?

Anyway, I agree with Jen, that whatever decision you make, make it for the right reasons, what you and DH want not what you think would be beneficial for Liam. He will be a very much loved and well-cared for wee chap no matter how many siblings he has, so it really depends on how you and J feel

Kahtrell goes to daycare every day, and he has cousins who are similar in age that we see every so often. I think he would love to have a sibling to play with. He's alright at the moment because I spend as much time as I can playing with him in the afternoons and evenings, but those clucky feelings have been surfacing!!

It's still early days sally bally and you might find that sometime in the future you'll get unbelievably clucky, in the meantime try not to ponder it too much.

 

I knew I wanted more kids at some point but when Michaela was 9mo I just couldn't picture it at all.  It didn't help that she still hadn't slept for more than 4 hours in one go and I was a sleep deprived full time working mum.  By 10 mo her sleep issues were sorted but I was still happy with just the one (while all my AN friends where either trying for or planning to try for #2). 

 

Then at 12mo it was like someone switched a light on and I went from not really being fussed on having #2 to desperately wanting another baby.  Then I had to wait for DH to be ready which has been unbelievably hard to do.

 

Even now as we embark on TTC again I have moments where I wonder if it would be best to just stick with one but those moments are fleeting.

I agree with everything jo said. We were always gonna have at least 2 kids, 2 years apart,....up until recently there was no way we were gonna have another,...the thought was way to scary,...but lately we have decided we will.
You have tonnes of time to decide. There are good and bad things about each age gap too, its taken me ages to get over the fact that I wont have a 2 year age gap liek everyone else seems too, I still struggle with that,...but it just wasnt what worked out for us.